Can a military relationship work?

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In short: yes. There are thousands of military couples (one of them my brother and sister-in-law) and they work. If you're considering getting into a military relationship, talk with your partner and understand what you're getting into. They are generally harder than normal because of the stresses. But, if you really love that person, and (s)he loves you, I have full faith that you can make it work. You wouldn't be the first couple to do so.

Answer

yes, because I've been in one for 3 in a half years.

Answer

Of course! A military marriage or relationship can be very hard on some however. Your spouse may be absent for long periods of time (dependent on area of service, some recent deployments have lasted a year to 15 months). You have to be far more adaptable than a 'normal' couple, and think of things slightly differently. Communicating is very important in any relationship, but you have the added challenge to think of many new ways to express your love for someone who may be thousands of miles away. Email and instant messengers can be invaluable, but you just can't beat a real pen-to-paper letter and care package sometimes! If you aren't an independent person, you may soon become one, as you will be the one paying the bills and dealing the the day to day things whilst your spouse is away. When a spouse comes home from deployment, you may be so used to 'being in charge' of everything that there may be a readjustment period for both of you.

Some people find it very hard to deal with the fact that their spouse is probably in a combat zone or dangerous area when they are away, and sometimes the 'what if..'s can be too much.

You may be stationed in a foreign country, which brings the stresses of being away from the support network of your immediate family and closest friends which for some can be hard, as well as coping with language and cultural differences. This can bring a strain to relationships too. Hopefully though, you and your spouse will be best friends as well as partners (and welcoming to new experiences and places - a great oppurtunity to travel!), and can talk to one another honestly about how you feel, thus strengthening your bond, and supporting one another through the 'bad days'.

You have to be able to accept that your beloved spouse will probably miss out on a lot of special days and events, such as birthdays, holidays like Christmas, and anniversaries. Also remember that should you choose to have children, your spouse may miss the birth, first steps, first words, first day of school etc. However, the military community is so welcoming, and you will always find a strong support network (family centres, Chaplains, FRG's), as well as a 'shoulder to cry on' should you need one. You will also have many other military spouses around you, many of whom will be in the same situation, and who will be more than happy to talk or help out should you need it.

A military marriage can be hell on earth, but can also be one of the strongest relationships there is. You learn to appreciate the time together and not take it for granted as a 'normal' family may do. You have to be flexible, creative, resourceful, strong, and willing to adapt. Sure, it wont always be easy, but then again, few relationships are! Just love one another and stay strong together, and make the most of the benefits of military life :)

First answer by James Betz. Last edit by ID3646861132. Question popularity: 48 [recommend question]