Can adoptive parents terminate the adoption on the probabtionary period?

Answer 1

Yes. It's called "disruption" and it does happen. Sometimes a child comes home with problems so severe that they cannot be handled by the new family; in such cases, the parents can seek to disrupt the adoption. People are frequently horrified at such a thought, because we think that love conquers all. However, in families created by adoption - just as in families created by birth - there can be situations where it is not safe for a child to remain with their family. We all believe we'd never give up on a kid, but we have to realize that disrupting an adoption does NOT mean you gave up. It means you made the best decision you could for your entire family, INCLUDING the child.

I am an adoptee, and an adoptive parent, and I know both families who have had to disrupt as well as families who adopted children who had previously been "disrupted." The idea is to do what in the kid's best interest.

For example, I have a five year old. If I adopted a 14 year old and that child began beating my 5 year old, sexually molesting him, burning down the house, etc., I might decide that I could not provide a safe home for that 14 year old. Disruptions are uncommon, and come from nightmare scenarios - we're not talking about adopting an infant and then deciding he's too ugly, or not smart enough. We are talking about families who are caught off guard by the severity of the child's problems (e.g. if the problems were not known at the time of adoption, and only surfaced later) and who decide - after MUCH struggle, tears, and misery - that disruption is the only choice for the child.

I cannot imagine losing my beautiful son, no matter what. But I have seen enough to know that it does happen in some families, and that anyone who has not been there cannot judge.