Can you hit your child as long as you dont leave marks?

Answer 1

There is differing legislation for chastising a child depending on where you live.

Many people believe it should be illegal to inflict any form of physical chastisement, others disagree.

A bit more:

I believe it is legal in most states, and I know it's legal in the state where I live. As a child, I was beaten, not spanked (there is a big difference between the two), by a very mean, abusive stepmother, as well as other types of physical abuse, and emotional abuse she inflicted on my two sisters and me. So, with that being said . . .

Some believe all abused children grow up to be abusive parents, themselves. Not true, not even remotely. While I do believe in spanking, I don't believe in beating or slapping children. To slap a child in the face, or to lash out at them in anger is nothing more than revenge, not punishment. And that is child abuse.

But I do not consider it wrong to administer a couple of swats on a child's behind for misbehaving. However, there are some things that I feel are important to consider. Spanking should be only as a last resort, should never be more than two or three swats on the behind (never on any other parts of the body), and never in public.

A five year old child can feel embarassment and humiliation by being spanked in front of others just as much as an older child can. You never want the spanking (or any form of chastisement) to humiliate or embarass the child - you want it to teach the child, to get your message across.

And, no matter how serious the child's wrong doing, after spanking the child don't ignore him or her afterwards. You explain why you felt you had to spank them, and let them know you love them. And then let it go - don't harp or nag about it the rest of the day, and don't make the child continue to pay for their 'crime' by keeping your emotions distant from them afterwards. The spanking was the punishment, so don't punish them further by not speaking to them, etc.

I've seen parents spank a child in anger, then continue to scream insults at them the rest of the day, make them stay in their room for hours, no tv, no toys, etc., all for the same thing for which they were spanked. A parent should never inflict more than one form of punishment on a child for the same offense. This is nothing more than revenge, not punishment, and all this does is cause emotional problems and pain for the child - problems and pain that can last a lifetime.

So before you do spank your child make sure it's not in anger, and always let your child know you love them - no matter what they do. There is no infraction my children could have ever committed that would cause me to not love them, or to not let them know I love them. Never let a day go by without telling your child you love them, especially on a 'spanking day'.