Do pathological liars ever admit they are liars?

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Do Pathological Liars Admit They Lie?

mercy to those people that have to deal with pathological liars! they do admit it only if you tape them or you have numerous amount of evidences..

Yes. . . they generally admit they have a problem with lying but then forget about it or try to diminish it and they continue to do the same things over and over and achieve the same results with different people. I dated a guy who was very good looking and charming. I could not understand why so many of my friends disliked him. They had had previous experience with him, it turned out. Fortunately for him, he received some type of treatment. He was actually sent to an institution for awhile and when he returned, he was extremely honest about everything, including things most people might tell white lies about. Twp years ago I met a very sweet and charming man who quickly became an important part of my life. Unfortunately he had a number of serious issues, OCD, paranoia and I can only guess at what else. I suspected anti social personality but I don't think he has been properly diagnosed or treated. He is in his late 30s and lives with his brother whom he claimed had compulsive disorders. He was very careful to keep contact between us and his family separate. I spent nearly every day with this man for around a year when I discovered he was lying about his identity and many other things. When I went to verify details about him he turned everything around on me and claimed he couldn't trust me. I can see that he has been traumatized in his life but I don't know what caused it. I know that some of my later actions aggravated the situation but I really didn't know how else to handle this behavior. I felt I needed to find out the truth to protect myself and my daughter. I still don't know how much of what he told me were lies. He did admit to lying "about a lot of things" and then turned around and said he only lied about one thing. He has managed to completely diminish the importance of the lie in his own mind, acting as if lying about one's identity (and much more) to family and friends is something very minor and was justified because he had had women who made him 'fear for his life' in the past. I suspect the opposite is true, that women were probably very puzzled by his behaviour and were (like myself) trying to understand what was true. He accused me of stalking him when I started checking him out. He had delusions of grandeur and a number of strange things going on. I still, on a certain level, care about his well being but realize I cannot be anywhere near him. My advice is to check the backgrounds of people you meet and verify details.

Chronic liars are most commonly found among those who have Antisocial Personality Disorder, although some liars also suffer from factitious conditions like Munchhausen's Disorder or Munchhausen's by Proxy and of course, there are disorders that by their nature promote lying -- such as substance abusers who have to lie to spouses or employers in order to support their habit. Narcissists are also fond of lying. The most serious of the chronic liars are the psychopaths, who form the most severe 10% (roughly) of those with Antisocial Personality Disorder and yes, they will happily acknowledge that they lie, in some circumstances. They will rarely acknowledge a lie if doing so might cause them discomfort -- for example, if they lie to police about not having committed some crime, they will generally not back down from this position and they will often not back away from a face-saving or grandiose lie. Pathological Liars are above all charming, glib and usually to some extent flirtatious. If admitting a lie or two is in the interest of holding your attention, they're happy to do so. Only delusions can cause an individual to tell a falsehood that they believe to be true. By definition, delusions are *fixed* false beliefs, and they do not change when someone points out their falsity. They often don't even change with heavy medication. So if someone is telling you, "I didn't realize I just told a lie; I'm a pathological liar," excuse yourself politely, and go make a new friend. There is not going to be a happy ending. About Pathological liars knowing whether they lie or not. It's actually yes and no. He doesn't know that he has lied until AFTER he has lied (sometimes). He sometimes does not realise he has lied until someone has brought it to his attention. When he finally realises he has lied (on his own), he will NOT admit it, because there is no explanation and he feels somewhat embarrassed. When caught he will sometimes deny it simply because he does not want people to view him as a liar (fear and shame) Finally, sometimes he will admit it in certain situations. It's not their conscious mind at work, but rather their self-centred, defensive, insecure, low self esteem subconscious.

I am in a relationship with one. He cheats (he emotionally gets involved with other females), lies constantly, and even lies about me to make people pity him. For instance, whenever I confront him about his lies, he would seek comfort in his family and friends, and even pity from other girls, by saying all sorts of false things about me. Basically, slander and, they begin to hate me and see me as the enemy. He would always tell me not to talk to his friends and always tried to limit the communication between me and his friends. I finally went behind his back to talk to his brother, and it was then we realised what was going on. He would tell me lies about his family and friends, and tell them lies, so that everyone was against each other, so there would be no communicating and no one would figure him out. Finally, we decided to go to counseling after I got him to believe that he's a compulsive liar. He even lied in counselling! He got sick and tired of me pressuring him to get help so he found this other girl (not the first time he cheated). Classic Examples of a pathological liar: He invited her over. His roommate caught them in bed. When I confronted him, he said she was never there. Then admits she was there, but remained outside the apartment, then confesses that yes, she was inside, but there were other people there too. Promises that she was the girlfriend of one of his friends and was actually there with him. Then says she was there alone, but only because she had nowhere else to go when his friend dropped her off. Admits that she was in fact in his bed, but she only sat there to put back on her shoes (she had on slippers). Confesses that whilst she was in his bed, he wasn't in bed with her and wasn't even in the same room. Finally admitted that yes, he invited her over and yes they ended up in bed together (although he swears they did nothing and they were just watching a movie). This is just one of many examples which spans the four years of our relationship and nearly destroyed my life. He told me he was tired of lying and wanted help yet he continued to lie and didn't get the help. Family and friends have shun him, but I stayed by his side because I cared and he still lies. I even started hiding his "lifestyle" from everyone, so they won't encourage me to leave him. And while I was doing this, he was lying to his friends about me, who then turned around and encouraged him to leave me or at least find someone else. People judge me, and all I can say is that I didn't put myself in this situation, he didn't have a sign on his T-shirt saying "I'm a pathological liar." It took me almost four years to see it. And now that I'm in it, I have two options, either leave (which I've tried, but apparently I'm under some sort of spell and I love him or to stick around and try my best to help him, rather than to hate him. He took one session from a professional and never returned. The greater question is, "can they stop it?" At the end of the day, it's all up to the person who's doing the lying. It's also up to the person involved, especially the boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband of the liar. They need to know what they're up for, and if they can handle it. Take it from someone who's in the situation, it's not easy and it's going to be an obstacle.

Four years ago I met a guy who worked at a gym. He told me he had split from his girlfriend so we began to see each other. He said he had provided for his ex, her son and their daughter in the 10 years he was with her and came out of the relationship penniless. After three months I found out he was still living with her, by which time he had been staying with me so I ended it. Then in September of that year I saw him. He said he had left his ex for good, and he was only with her for his daughter. We then started seeing each other again. By the March of the next year he had moved in with my son and me, and in July I sold my house and started renting the house I'm in now. Looking back I should have seen the signs. Terry never paid for anything in the whole time he was with me. All the money I made on the house has been used on paying off his debts, buying him vans and cars, keeping a roof over our heads and paying for his child. He never paid for anything the whole three and a half years he was with us. When I questioned him he got aggressive so in the end it was best to keep quiet. There had been times when he had displayed violence, he was arrested for GBH on his ex. It came to a head when we were in Gran Canaria and he tried to push me off a cliff in front of my son because I would not listen to him. My child collapsed to his knees screaming please don't kill my mum. Later on in November he dislocated my thumb. I asked him to leave but he would not and two days later I came home to find he had cleared my house out. I got the stuff back and stupidly had him back. By this time I was under the doctor for stress and had viral infections and was anaemic all the time. My son was too scared to come back from his dads at weekends. The final blow was in January when he told me he had been to see his Nan in hospital when I was out. The next week I read in the local paper she had died the week before. That was it I gave him all the clothes etc., and I had ever brought him and told him to leave me alone. For weeks after he kept knocking on my door, ringing me crying etc. He said he would pay back the money if I was his friend, and as it was thousands I stupidly agreed. He told me he was sleeping on friends sofas where I now know he had gone to stay with his mum. By April he was staying at weekends when my son was with his dad. He never paid the debt off and I continued paying for everything when we went out. In August he spent 10 days at mine. Then my son, boyfriend and I went to Woburn and on on his birthday and I took him to London, paid for a nice meal and brought him a new mobile phone. Money went missing from my purse and he blamed my son. He said he was working day and night and I didn't see him for a couple of weeks, and then he would turn up crying and clinging to me saying he could not get over me and he loved me. I found out he had been living with someone else who he had started seeing earlier that year. He denied it all and I was so shocked I felt sick. I went to see a mutual friend who told me that he had been doing drugs for 15 years. I never had a clue. He also said he had stolen money off other friends and him. When I confronted him and threw him out he started sending me threatening texts and when he went to Greece I started receiving nuisance calls. I have had to change my phone numbers. The problem is I know his new partner; she is an alcoholic and has split up other couples in the past. Between them they have made my life hell. I had panic attacks, had to have time off work, could not eat or sleep. Now I realise he is a pathological liar with a drug habit and I'm lucky to be alive. To answer to your question, yes I think sometimes they are aware they are lying and if you back them into a corner to admit it they lash out to change the situation and so you are dealing with the violence not the lie which started the confrontation. I would never knowingly get involved with someone this destructive again. Best of luck to anyone who stays with a pathological liar, you will spend your life fretting and doubting everything. You deserve better treatment!

I don't think so. My ex is a pathological liar from what I have read and learned about they believe their own lies.

Someone who lies to others is someone who lies to themselves. Therefore, they can not admit that they are liars. They seem to believe what they say. They have very little morals or conscience which makes it all too easy for them to fabricate the truth. I consider pathological liars to be anti-social in that they have no regard for others, they care not about how their lies effect the lives of others, and they are more concerned about image rather than the truth of a situation and go to great lengths to protect themselves with their lies. It is impossible to trust someone who is a known liar. In the end, their lies create situations that only hurt the genuine and sincere people they deceive. I know of a pathological liar who is living a lie. All around him consider him to be real. I know he is just a shallow facade of a man impersonating someone with integrity once asked me not to hold his lies against him. I guess that was an admission of his need to lie in all situations in his life, but it was impossible to not hold them against him...his lies adversely effected my life. In truth, liars gain short term protection, and long term disconnection with reality and it is a very dangerous game to play with people. Morally reprehensible believe his own lies that will catch up with him and he will pay dearly; more so than if he had chosen to be honest about his indefensible choices.

Pathological liars, when pressed, will admit that they lie, but usually only to some extent. When they are given no compelling reason, they will not admit. When asked why they told a particular lie, they will give you an answer, often untrue. The reason for this is that pathological liars often do not know for what reason they are driven to lie. Often they are unaware of what the actual truth is in situations because their constant lying and mental distress allow them only to understand how a certain situation made them feel, pushing aside all material facts. In this case, they may be simply trying to make sense of why they reacted to a situation in that particular way. Others simply are suffering from sociopathy, and have only the drive to protect themselves and seek out what they desire. If you have a strong suspicion that someone you know is a pathological liar, consider using something called the Assuage test. Anyone can give it, and anyone can take it. As far as case studies go, pathological lying is not like schizophrenia or other mental diseases, although it can be a side effect of it and is more like OCD or sociopathy. It often has arisen due to dysfunction and stress during the formative years, and has even been noted to start after traumatic accidents. Another factor in this is the example perceived peers, and how a person is taught either by observing these individuals, or the lack of action toward punishing their lies. Unfortunately, those who have taken their habit of lying past childhood and into adulthood will commonly have some tendency toward swindling. Ask yourself this...are you in debt because of this person, does he or she become evasive or flustered when pressed about their finances, does he or she offer sad, extensive and somewhat "decorated" stories in relation to finances or items acquired. Pathological liars CAN reform, but you must do yourself, and the person in question a favor, and never take anything they say at face value until there is definite proof that their word can be changed. Definitely encourage therapy.

My ex is a pathological liar. I disagree with the answer that they don't know when they lie.....he knows. He will lie about nothing important. The question is why ? Is it really important that he returned rented movie a day late? No......so why lie about it? Everything he said seemed to turn into a lie for no obvious reason.

I am in belief that pathological liars are caught up in the illusory life that they have created and unless pushed to the breaking point they will not admit their lies. A true pathological liar does not generally have the subconsciousness to associate reality from fallacy and will not distress over the situation like a person who, though lying often when in a stressed situation would. I dated a guy once who had told me he had been a pathological liar and had gone to see a counselor for twp and a half years in order to recover from it and during our time, he often would use the phrase "to be perfectly honest with you." I am not certain that this was his way of helping himself to believe what he was saying was indeed the truth or not, but when it broke down I recognized that while he may have sought help, he was still lying to me and when confronted with the opportunity to admit this he did not do so.

My husband lies all the time. His lies are harmless and not unlike the answers I've seen here, these are things he doesn't need to lie about. He eventually told me a huge lie to cover his butt, but at my expense. This could ultimately cost me my job. I just started reading as much information as I can on lying tonight. I can't help but think that he honestly doesn't think he knows he's lying. Kind of like an alcoholic having a black out. I'm thinking of secretly taping our conversations to prove to him the things he says to me. He's self employed, and works his own schedule but he tells me he's going to work and then I find out he's home watching TV. He lies about where he goes. We were recently married and I've known him a long time, but never had to deal with the extent of the lies he is telling me now. His sister said he's always done it and it was because of how they were raised. He lies to me daily about useless crap. After 6\six months of this I'm ready to call it quits. I can't stand the lying!! And he just doesn't get it! Even when I confront him he lies. So unless I have proof such as a tape recording he will lie his way out of a lie. I don't know what to believe anymore.

I dated a pathological liar for 10 months and I don't believe they ever admit they are liars. I remember several situations in which he was caught lying by two people to whom he had told different versions of the same story and instead of being embarrassed or admitting that he had lied, he would simply tell you "I will talk to you about that later". He wanted to wait until he was an environment were he could again, lie to you without any one to prove him wrong. Even when his own mom, the one person who would know the truth about certain stories, disproved him, he would say that she was the one lying. Pathological liars simply invent more and more lies whenever they are caught in a situation that might disrupt the world they have constructed.

My husband who I left for a year was a pathological liar. I knew he was a good man and I wanted to get him to change but I knew it was up to him. so I shut him out in every way. He called and wrote and tried in every way to contact me. but I avoided him as much as I could. To keep myself from feeling any pain he could cause. My trust in him was lost. I knew he was a good man inside, but he just did things that I couldn't understand. Every time he would contact me he told how much I meant to him. I avoided him! I knew he wouldn't change until he realized he was a pathological liar. He did call and admitted what he lied about. He went to every extent he could to try to make it up. I was so hurt that no matter what he did I felt like it was a lie coming from him. My trust for him and belief in him was lost although I knew he really loved me so I relented and gave him another chance. He realized that he had a problem he did seek help and he was telling the truth about it. The reason I went back to him is the fact that I knew his heart was true and I loved the fact his family accepted me. They knew about some of our issues and his as well. Time is the only cure but doesn't cure all. It has been 5 years since we have been back together there is not a doubt in my mind that he has been loyal and honest with me. That is just my story may not go for all. At the beginning I thought I hated him, but it was the pain he put me through. Then I realized I truly did love him. Now I am happier then I have ever been. Like I said the person has to admit almost like addiction. They have to do it for themself as well as for the people who they love.

My ex boyfriend,who I just broke up with recently after two and half years is a pathological liar. From the very start of that relationship he has been inventing stories full of crap for no reason at all. I know people can lie but his was a whole fabricated life story. He lied compulsively about anything and to anyone, to our college friends, to his friends, to his family, my family and of course me. I caught him lying on our first year and he totally admitted and made me believe that he would change. Until recently, I realized that he has been lyng even about his lying progress. I believe he is so insecure about himself that he made this fantasy story that he was in a reputable law school. He would arrive at my school meeting me well dressed and say that he just finished class. He would enter into a debate with me when I discussed a topic in my commercial law subject, saying that I was wrong because they talked about it in class. He presented to me fabricated class schedules, tuition fee receipts, school ID, and grades. They were so believable so I fell for it until many of our college friends were suspecting already and confirmed that he was lying. Before when we were friends, he had a reputation of being a liar in his high school but I thought he was reformed, but no, even to me he has made up incredible pointless stories to build up himself. I have forgiven him many times I caught him lying and he always promised he would change. Obviously, he didn't and now that he wants me back, he admitted that he was a pathological liar. For the two and a half years I've known him, there were times I think he already believed in his own lies or that he was so deep into those stories that he couldn't get out of it.

I am in a long distance relationship with a girl who has lied to me from the very beginning of our relationship. This is a difficult one because she is my first love. She told me that she had ten motorcycles and rode for Yamaha, worked on cars, played in a band and had an amazing voice, and showed me her "demo" which was someone elses. She told me she had a debilitating kidney disease which would most likely render her dead by 30 she pretended to suffer from it like it was real. She told me she was physically abused by her mom and gave herself a burn and told people her mother gave it to her for sympathy to move out and in with someone. She told me she sky dived, and the list goes on. Her lies were so intricate that she put herself right there in every situation, to the point you would think "OK this has got to be real no one would lie about something as simple as that." I went and stayed with her and the family who took her in for two weeks. In this time I discovered half the things she was lying to me about. I confronted her and she broke down and admitted to everything I had proof for, but everything else stayed "true lies" The next day I found out more proof against what she had told me and I confronted her on that and she saw I had proof about the burn so she came clean with that. She said she would change and even acted like it was good to have everything out on the table now and she said she could honestly say there was nothing she could think of she was hiding from me, when in fact, the biggest lie off all was her kidney disease, the one thing I didn't have proof for was still a lie. I called her mom's house one day looking for her and said by the way what do you know about her Kidney disease and her mom said "What kidney disease?" This girl told me I could ask her mom about it if I wanted proof so I did! She gave me a false source of reassurance. So I confronted her about that yesterday and again she broke down told me the truth now that she knew I had proof. Most people would advise me to walk away and sometimes I wonder why I am still standing here. I am one of those people who want to believe that good will prevail and she will change like she says and people say it's possible, but I am honestly lost. I love her to death and I don't know what to do. I have spent countless hours, days, and months crying about her imaginary kidney disease. So here I sit wondering where our lives will go and wondering what I really should do about it.

To the sweet man who wrote above, you have two options, either a) have her seek professional help or b) leave her!! From what I have read and researched, only two options exist with a pathological liar. I hate to break the "Truth" down for you but she has you wrapped around her finger. She knows that you love her and she is using that emotion to get away with her lies. She is a parasite. She attaches herself to your sincere emotions. When you cut her off emotionally, she will find someone else to take your place. That my friend is what will happen. So if you "love her to death", find her some help but make sure she goes to the sessions, if not, she will lie about that also.

Thanks to the person above me. I am really trying hard to help her change. She seems open to it and has admitted she has a problem and I did cut myself off coldly once and in a matter of seconds she was on the phone with her ex-boyfriend, so I can see that I am completely replacable and that saddens me, but in the end I know if she doesn't beat this problem now, she never will and it will destroy her for life. If I can be nothing more than a vehicle to her self improvment so she learns to end this and she can lead a happier life that's all that matters. Thanks again. Pray for me and her.

I'm in a similar situation as the guy above and I really feel for him. My ex girlfriend is a pathological liar and I want to help her out too and as he says above, she really likes me but I'm also aware of the fact that I'm totally replaceable. When I cut myself off (and I have done that several times), she moves on very easily and starts talking to other men and gives them her made up nonsense! She doesn't feel bad about hurting me or anybody and, infact, she says she never did it!! It's like she's living in this make believe world of her own! Most of the guys she finds get sick and tired of her lies pretty fast and she gets back to me temporarily. If I try to help her out,she gets angry again and finds a new man. However, it doesn't last long and the cycle repeats itself. The question is why am I doing all this? Why am I making myself go through all this pain? It's because I feel sorry for her, I pity her and I feel sorry for the misery she puts herself into. I think there's got to be someone who has to help her out and thats me! Call it selfless love or whatever; I still believe that I can help her.

I am currently in a situation like this, only it's my best friend. She's created this guy that she is supposedly dating and the kid has leukemia. He died about a year and a half ago, but he didn't really die, his mom made up the whole story (this is what the best friend is saying). So, the boyfriend came back. I checked the IP addresses of the emails I have recieved from them and I tracked three of them to my home computer when my friend was here and one of them to my work when she came with me. There are more emails from before he died, but those one's seem to check out. Whenever I have a chance to meet him in person, something comes up. He never seems to have a phone with him, or it's a cell phone from a different country (he travels a lot...). His dad is a rich doctor, my friend's family is not rich. The boyfriend is the leader of a singing group who is popular in Peru and Argentina. I checked the music of his "band"...the titles that she gave me...and it turns out that music comes from two different bands, neither one of them have a member with his name. She has showed me pictures of him, some of them have words and numbers on them, like from an offical website. She said that just means it was done professionaly at a studio. There are no pictures of the two of them together. I finally confronted her with all of this today and she denied it all. She said that the music she got from this kid and had no idea what was going on with that, and said that she couldn't have sent me those emails and that she didn't. I don't know what to do! I'm scared that she's using this to cover up something that happened to her a long time ago. One of the things that the boyfriend told me (in an email) was that my friend was raped in seventh grade by his little brother (also in seventh grade at the time) and got her pregnant. I don't know if this happened or not. Just like the kid with the kidney disease, she told me I could ask her dad about it, but if her dad doesn't know and I say something he will beat her, and I know it. I'm at a loss. I told her that I didn't think this kid existed, that maybe he did at one point, but not now. She still denies everything and says that he is real. She's given me a few people I can talk to (two of them I don't know, and her mom lives in peru, I don't know the number!) but I don't know if they're real or not. I have no idea what to do or where do I go with this now. How does she get help if she won't admit she has a problem? What if she believes it and doesn't know what she's doing?

I fell in love about seven months ago with the love of my life. He asked me to marry him a little before Christmas and of course I said yes. There there was one problem, I had a secret. I had told him three months back when we were on a "break" that I had cancer. I told him random details about it, even getting online to make sure my details were correct. I made up appointment times, drove his car, used his gas to get there, and complained of being sick all the time so he would hold me tighter. He cried and worried about me more then I'll ever know. His whole family knew about the "sickness" and they were all very supportive and talked us both through the tough times. Our relationship became surrounded by the cancer. I was always bringing it up, adding something new so I would not lose his interest. This was not the only thing I lied about either. The other things were minor things that maybe didn't affect him as much but still were lies. At the beginning of the month we moved in together because my lease had gone up on my apartment. Three days later he found out I was lying. My mother had been approached by someone who said they were sorry I was dying. My mom had no idea what she was talking about called me but I didnt answer so she called my fiance's mother. This is when everything blew up. He told me to prove it and I couldn't and he left me. I had to move back home to my parents who were mad that I had done this. Now I have still not admitted to him that I lied. I dont know why I can't I think it is because I know once I tell him there will be no chance of us being together, though right now there isnt either. I know I have a problem with lying. I have had it my whole life. I spent my childhood lying for my father to keep him and my family out of trouble and I think I saw that it worked so I have created a second nature out of it. My mother says that I am a pathological liar, but I don't care who is hurt when I lie as long as I get what I want. I want help and I'm seeking that help. I don't want my life this way. So to answer the question, I think it depends on the person whether they will admit it. I have told my parents the truth, but no one else knows because I am embarrassed and afraid to be alone. I think going to therapy will help me be truthful about my past and in the future, but why right now is the hardest thing I have ever done. I realized if I pulled on his sympathy with my lies I knew he would come back to me sooner and help me through it, instead of wanting to be on a break. I have never disrespected someone more then I did him and his family. All the money and time that was spent trying to make me feel better the last three months was all a lie and I deserve nothing more then unanswered phone calls from my ex fiance. I believe that we are meant to be together. I have never felt this way about someone, I just had more personal issues that I have never dealt with from my past and ended up hurting him and pushing him away. Is there any hope for a pathological liar and do they deserve forgivness?

I fell for a pathological liar in my early 20's. He was so good it took me years to get over him. He made up lies why he couldn't commit to me, everything from he wanted to make sure I was "the one" before he commited to me, to he had a prophecy he was going to die when he was 30, and more. I was so naive I bought it all and thought with enough love I could change him. I had so little experience with liars like this, and his explanations were so wild and he said those lies with such sincerity that I had no choice, but to believe they were true. Things blew up when his girlfriend found out about me and called me, which in itself is weird because I was unlisted. He swears to this day that she has access to his records and found it on a phone bill. In any event, he lied so much (even about his age) I don't know what was truth and what wasn't. Years later a close friend fell under his spell, despite that she knew how bad he had hurt me. She thought she could change him too. I still had feelings for him and when my engagement ended he popped back into my life as a shoulder to cry on. Well needless to say my friend and I were mad at each other, all the while he had no intention of getting involved with either of us. When she was angry at him she would tell me everything he had done, including countless girls he had dated without telling her, promises he'd broken and more. but as soon as he'd call she would go into a trance and forget everything. I eventually gave up on both of them because they were beyond hel. She managed to hang onto him for five years hoping he would commit to her and nothing happened so she ended the relationship and found someone else. I used to be unable to accept the fact that people could tell such outrageous lies. Now I realize it's an addiction, not unlike alcohol, gambling or drugs where people will not face reality no matter how much it's hurting them or others. The only thing scarier than a pathological liar is a supposedly smart person who falls into their trap.

I believe I am a pathological liar. I have been in a relationship for seven years now, everything was great (on this outside). She is great, I love her so much, but I lie about huge things. I get along with her so well; her family loves me, my family loves her, we love each other. We have had troubles lately getting intimate, and just being happy being us, and I think that I am a lot to do with that. I have been keeping big things from her and I didn't know how to get out of the lies without lying. When we decided to have the "Big Talk" about us we decided to take a break, and I would move out, because we just weren't "us" anymore. I was withdrawn, I felt depressed, and we weren't working. I did actually agree and it was decided, but after really thinking for days about my life, our lives, and us being happy, I realized that me keeping so much from her might be what is keeping us so distant, and keeping us from being happy. I decided the next day that we had to sit down and have another talk. I could have walked away with my secrets but I couldn't walk away from us without trying everything. She knew that I had credit problems, my credit card was stolen and the credit card company was making me pay for it because I didni't inform them it was stolen for some time... I don't remember what the lie was, but you get the gyst. The truth was I actually charged all of that and ignored the payments for so long. She knew only that I had credit card fraud, and that my parents were paying it. For two years I met her at school, at lunch with our friends, drive a half hour to the college, and it was all a lie. When she wanted to see my grades I bit her head off and told her it was none of her business. When ever I was asked how much time I had left in schooling I lied and said I wasn't sure, I hadn't gotten that all figured out yet. I sort of avoided the situation. We fought a lot about that. I knew she had hopes and dreams of us moving out and having a future, and because of some paperwork I put off, and an outstanding loan to the school, I couldn't even fix my situation. Before I knew it I was covering up everything, trying to keep my lies all the same to everyone. No one knew who I was and I didn't know myself either. Anyways, she still talks to me, I am trying to work everything out, but I want to be so much different. I want everyone to know me for me, I want to have direction to my life. I want to stop the lies. Mostly, I want her back and maybe that will happen. I know I can change, I have come clean to everyone who I care about. My parents, my brother, my best friend, my girlfriend... or ex girlfriend (I'm not sure yet what we are). I know how much I have hurt her and I feel so horrible, I feel like my whole world has ended, I am sure she feels the same. but in a way I feel relieved that if we do work things out, she will know me for me and I can be happy being me. I know I have destroyed the trust she had in me, or what little trust was there is gone. I want to spend the rest of my life earning that trust back. I want to be completely open and true, but I don't know where to start. I have accomplished so much to make me a better person that I am proud of. I think that was my problem was I wasn't headed in any direction; I wasn't happy with me, so I lied. I want her so much by my side while I deal with my problems, and while I move on, but I know how much she must be hurting. I don't know if telling her these things was just too late to save us. Do I need professional help? Do I need to seek a counselor? Is there any hope for us, or are we just done?

I have been dating a man who was a pathologial liar. We've been together almost nine months, I was meant to live my family and my country to be with him, until I discovered he lied to me about his life, his family, his past, his present, everything. He used to cheat on me all the time, he wasn't actually cheating on me. His job in life was to juggle those who loved him, not caring about the pain he was causing. I am not fine, I didn't even know I could meet someone so nasty and selfish, someone who always plays the innocent part, making you feel so crazy in love all the time. I was changing my life for him, but then I decided it was better to follow my instinct more than the love I was feeling for him, and that's how I discovered everything. When caught, he said he would have committed suicide, I knew it was just his script going on, because that's what he does on earth, acting different roles on a stage, the problem is his family and friends from childhood know he has many issues to solve, but they said they can't do anything anymore. They watch themselves around him instead, because of what he did to them in the past! He never admitted all the lies and he sent me many emails and text messages saying he now wants to change, he said he's already been to a therapist, but I found out he didn't actually do any of these things. He told me "his truth" and he will never admit the big lies. I told him I don't want to be treated like I was dumb and innocent; that I preferred him to shut up instead of keeping on saying "he was honest with me". He at least had the decency not to say anything anymore. I am still in love with him. I hope one day to wake up and realize it was just a nightmare and not the sad reality it is. I could never go on with him, even if I was feeling he was the one I could not live being doubtful all the time, life is too short. I think he will never change, at least not completely, but this is just my experience. He absolutely knew when he was lying, and he also knew how to do it very well... I can't say if he believes his lies, I can just tell he looks absolutely sincere when he lies. I still feel lost at times, I broke up with him just one month ago, but I thank God for helping me to get out of this loop this soon, it would have been much worse later in future years. Time is always the best doctor.

I wrote below (entitled: New York, NY) about the woman who was a liar and after reading your story above, my heart goes out to you. I am sorry you went through this. It beings back the feelings I went through and is healing to read about. Maybe my story will do the same for you. Yes, life is too short. If it's of any help, I gain strength each day and realize more and more "How in the world did I accept this? I must have been longing so badly to love and be loved; like all of us". Let me know how long it's been and how you're doing. :0)

I know a woman who is a pathological liar. All someone has to do is mention a celebrity and she has met him/her and usually they "hit on her" but of course she turned them down. She had to pictures to prove what celebrities she had been with and lied to me that all her photos were lost when her computer crashed. She never talks about real people and real situations. The celebrity stories go on an on but never with any proof. Once there was a photo of John Rzeznik walking in an award show with his real girlfriend in a tabloid after she had said she went with him and her excuse was that he asked her to go in the back way and had to go down the red carpet with this other woman because the other woman threatened to kill herself if he didn't take her down the red carpet and of course once they got in the show he was back with her. If you push the issue of why no photos when every cell phone has a camera, she gets very defensive. I tried to just ignore it since I know it's a mental illness but I had to walk away. The whole relationship is phony. I don't really know this person . They don't even know themselves. What a shame for someone to have such low self esteem and be so unhappy with themselves that they have to invent a new person to be.

I am a Pathological liar. I've come to realize in 2008 that I am a pathological liar and I've also figured out the reason why I am a pathological liar. I am the youngest in my family, and since my brother and sister were older and had a better understanding of everything they would sometimes tell me lies. One time my older brother and my sister told me that my family were all vampires. I wasn't sure if they were telling me the truth, and even though I knew that it couldn't be true, the story they told me sounded so true I couldn't decided if it was a lie. I would go back and forth giving myself reasons why it could be true and why it could be a lie. This went on for a month before they told me that they were just joking around. There were a couple of other times that they lied like this to me I think, but I'm sure anymore because I've lied so much since then and I don't know what real is and what isn't. I've noticed that I like to make somebody feel like I'm exactly like them, which would be the "love spell" that a pathological liar has on somebody. For example: I noticed that somebody in my group of friends hated gossip and I wanted this person to like me more so I started telling people that I myself hated to gossip. Also, with girls I'd ask them a question about themselves and when I hear what they say somehow I just know how to make that person feel like I am just like them. It's horrible being a pathological liar, because people tell me something like that they are getting a new car and they'll tell me the car that they are getting, I'll talk to them about it, but by the next day I'll completely forget what they have told me. When I tell a story I remember everything about myself, and forget about who was around me unless I really care about that person, or if they did something that I thought was funny. When I want something, such as food I ask every single person if they want food, so I don't look self centered. Being a pathological liar is probably the worst person you'd want to be, but that's how life is, and I love myself so much that I wouldn't do anything to harm myself, such as get into a fight. I noticed that I opened up to my friends, and told them in some way that I was a pathological liar, but the next day I figured out a way to make them feel like I wasn't because I was afraid they would not want to be friends with me anymore. I don't have a best friend, just a lot of acquaintances and I've come to realize that it is only because they don't know who I really am, but there isn't much I can do about it so I can only continue my path as a liar, but when I catch myself in a lie I'll tell the truth but only if the lie is not that serious. I read this over a couple of times to make sure I didn't tell any lies and I caught myself telling one and I replaced it with, "I believe that there was, but I'm not even sure if I'm just lying to myself about it."

I have been married to my spouse for five years. He is a pathological liar. He lied about jobs, school, where he's been, spending, chores, etc. You name it he's lied about it. He always acts like he knows everything. Makes you feel bad when you catch him in a lie. Even if they admitted that they were liars, they'd probably be lying.

New York, NY. I am devastated. I have been seeing a woman for 4 1/2 years. We met before she could obtain her divorce papers and force her husband out of the apartment who was abusive and a liar. So she was lying to him every night for months about her whereabouts to not inflame the situation. I thought I was the exception and that this was temporary. It turns out that she began lying to me as well: for example about the divorce really happening as fast. Now, years later she is actually divorced finally. But along the way she lied.

For example, right before she served him, but after she had broken the news that she was leaving, they were supposedly living in 2 apartments joined together. She said she slept in a separate room etc. One day, she took her kids to Mexico. She promised for months that this trip was without him saying "Are you kidding? I would never go with him" At the gate, she called me and sounded strained. I asked if he was there as my heart raced. She said "Are you crazy? I would never do that to you. Of course he's not here. Oh, I have to go." I asked "Call me from your seat on the plane as you always do." She said "It's going to be hard..." She texted me. I felt sick to my stomach. I tracked things down and proved her husband was with her. I pulled over on the road and got sick from shock. When I called her in Mexico, even though he picked up the hotel room phone (which she never gave me) she STILL denied he was there. It was sick.

This is a very intelligent woman, with 2 kids, who can fool anyone that she's normal. At least for a while. My family was fooled. Yet in retrospect, she seems to lose friends somehow. I was devastated about the lie, and also that they went together. She said they slept in 2 different rooms and that she went because she didn't want him with her kids alone without her and the legal issues had not been resolved yet.

Then she blamed me for being untrusting and said "I don't want to be with a man who checks up on me. I deserve better. I'm glad I found out who you are..." This is what is so infuriating. She flips everything around to make ME feel like I HAVE THE PROBLEM. It mind-screws a person. She confused me about me! Then she later gave a reason for the lying, saying, "I was afraid of your temper". This woman is REALLY GOOD at this. Well, I don't have a temper any more than the average person. I only expressed my anger she deserved when she lied a few dozen times. She finally called and admitted the Mexico lie. She never really apologized though. So I left her - disgusted and hurt.

Three months later, she called and begged me to take her back. She sounded sorry and normal and very humble. Dating was rough for me and I missed her and having security. Our intimacy was strong and in retrospect, she used it a lot. She knew how to make a man weak with sex, without him knowing he was becoming weak. I resent her for abusing sex this way now. But I was desperate for love after a divorce, in retrospect. If I had been in a position of strength and CHOICE, I would have dumped her. Well, this was 3 years ago. Regrettably, out of forgiveness and hope she would change, and my loving big heart they say I have... I took her back.

Months later, she disappeared for four hours. I got that sick feeling again. I stood outside her apartment building. She got out of a cab all decked out. When I called her a minute later, when she reached her apartment. she actually depicted a groggy, hoarse voice, and went on to elaborately tell me how she's been sleeping for the entire 4 hours, and that she thought we spoke just minutes earlier, and that she "must have been exhausted. The lie became so elaborate that it began to sicken me for her sake. The voice and fake stretching in the bed too. I couldn't believe this was my "love" doing this to me. Then she went on and listed all the namehe people who woke her up, causing her to put the phone on "vibrate" thereby missing my 20 calls worried about her. So - I said "Stop it!" I told her I was outside, and to never call me ever again. She was stunned and quiet.

Like a fool, after a long and compelling text message, I took her back again when she begged months later but warned her. She became better at lying and more careful. She hid me from her family for 4 years and claimed it was because "they were mad at me for leaving her a few times." Only God knows what they know and don't know. She has inappropriate contact with an ex-boyfriend from previous to her ended marriage at midnight, and knowing that seeing him so much and calling hurts me and is disrespectful. She lied about him too saying my temper scared her. Again, my temper was a little raising of the voice and a curse here or there from feeling I was manipulated and used for years. That's not abuse.

I lost my trust in her, and yet she blames me. And strange things constantly occurred, like not calling from a trip to the Caribbean with her kids during the day for a week until a call finally at midnight, claiming she can only talk for a minute and she's exhausted, and hanging up.

She also had the ability to be suddenly ruthless, like a disconnect. It reminds me of her ability to lie. Our biggest issue was this "stranger" thing she would do by pulling her love from me after a few good days, acting like we've been dating a few weeks, saying "Oh, thank you so much..." and formalities like that. She would act cold and say "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Good night..." It always left me feeling powerless. She controlled me for four years. And I was compassionate to her through her whole divorce. It would make a person want to scream from frustration, because you can't FORCE someone to be warm. It was like her memory was gone - OR - I was being manipulated brilliantly. I believe the latter. Why? Because when she needed to be sharp - boy she was sharp. Hence, my deep resentment toward her. I feel used.

Sexually, she also engaged in over-the-top crude speaking during sex, and what should have been "love making" not a scene from a porno movie. This always brought to mind a fear of her fooling around, because it wasn't just dirty talk. It was too "in control" and even cold. One day, in the middle of intimacy, when I left the bed remembering I left the door unlocked, I said, "Sorry baby, I'll be right back." Her answer was disturbing: "You better hurry back or someone else might take your place..." Her mind was in the wrong place in such an intimate, what should be loving place. This is one of many abuses that is somehow connected to the lying, the disconnect and being in control.

Now I wonder who she was sending text messages to as she would be returning from the ladies room in restaurants, not expecting me to be at the door. Her computer had a memory in the cache of a user name and password to Match.com. She claimed it was her nanny's log on.

Finally, after more lies, meanness, selfishness, flakiness with plans, and more emotional abuse, I left her for good this time. It has been hard to do, due to my dependency on her and habit, and my investment in every way. Also there was a strong physical attraction and seeming security and love. Thankfully, I'm stronger now. Nothing could ever make me accept her again. Was this a pathological liar? Who was this?

Thank God I didn't marry this person. My family and friends are elated that I saved my life from someone who evidently has NO conscience. She played the poor little girl victim, who needed her hero; that is until she was secure with me again and treated me like poorly. Family and friends always felt her lying was twisted. She never really showed in teredt in my family too and complained about the 3 hours she spent with them in 4 years that 'The day was shot..." This reminds me of the behavior listed above in other testimonies.

I am so devastated about the four years of my life, and deeply resent her. The thought of her deception, known and even unknown, has left me truly damaged, untrusting of people, and frankly still in shock that people can actually do this/ I feel now like I was loving a mirage. After all, if there's NOBODY HOME so to speak - what are you loving? It's like your life becomes vapor.

This is haunting me day and night. It's a nightmare. I look forward to any helpful comments or insight here. I suppose we all need to share, help one another, and eventually heal. I thank you for any support... New York, NY.

I dated two pathological liars, the first one when I was 17 and he lied about everything and anything, and never admitted to it. My most recent ex, we split up last night I believe is a pathological liar. He was in the military and raised his oldest son alone, backckecked, but he said all this stuff about being in desert storm and at columbine and knowing about the twin towers falling and I dont believe any of it. It made me so mad just to listen and Uh-huh to every word. Then he lied about being arested sent to jail and being released from court the next day (he was busted because it was Monday a holiday when court was closed) said it wouldnt be in the paper with his name that he spent the night in the cold aci intake with 18 other guys on benches and went to the Providence courthouse and that him and his friend scared the others saying they were crazy and attacked a cop) Then I confronted him about it being a holiday and he said he was arrested and released 4 hours later for hitting a cop in the chest wiith a snowball and lied because he got lost from the police station to kennedy plaza to get the bus home, and was ashamed and it hurt his pride he got lost when he was never lost in his life. He was not happy about the break up, I tried to make it so he broke up with me but with confrontations last night he said no I didnt want this breakup so not I have the guilt I tried not to gove him. The only thing is I dont know how to confront him on his other lies becasue I cant prove rthey are or are not. It sucks, he was sweet and warm and we slept next to eachother everynite for 3 months. (without having sex) and that seemed so special. But what d oI do? I left him so I guess I move on.

Both my brother and my sister are pathological liars. They can't seem to help themselves. They lie even when the truth is just fine. They even lie to each other! It's a fantasy world they live in, not reality. The best thing to do is to will yourself to forgive the liar(s), then get them out of your life! Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to stand there and swallow their lies for the rest of your life. Why torture yourself. Do it once and then get out! If you have to be the one to pack up and move away from them, do it!

First answer by ID1090600548. Last edit by Anakalipsis. Contributor trust: 0 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 212 [recommend question]