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As a wife or live in partner you should have some input over the things that happen in your home. You and your spouse need to have a serious talk about decisions that are made in the home. You should express your feeling to them about what the step-kids are doing and what you want done. I would not recommend making rules or punishing the step-kids without talking to your spouse about your role in their lives. The last thing you want is to make a decision and have your spouse not back you up. In a good relationship, you should have some authority to make rules & punishments as needed. Your spouse needs to let the step-kids know that they are O.k. with your rules, punishments or permission. The kids need to know what you are both on the same team. If the relationship is fairly new or with older children this may be harder but if you and your spouse join forces then you will be fine. If it gets to complicated then maybe you should take it slow but always be firm and keep the lines of communication open. New step parents are hard on teens but if you really want to make it work, you may want to talk to the kid yourself (after your spouse gives you the OK) and reasure them that you are not trying to take their "dad" from them and that you never ment to hurt them. tell them that you are here to stay and you would like to have a good relationship with them. Don't just be involved as dad's wife, be the stepmom and be involved in their life as a person.Good luck.

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Q: Does the stepmother have any control over decisions made in the home such as the 17-year-old child not coming home and rebelling?
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