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Abusive Relationships
An abusive relationship is a relationship in which a person is victim to the use or threat of being physically or psychologically abused. Here you can ask questions about abusive relationships such as how to spot it, and how to get yourself or others help.
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What should you do if you have been abused?
History of discipline problems. Blames you for his/her anger. Serious drug or alcohol use. History of violent behavior. Threatens...
Popularity: 482 • Tools: Recategorize
How do abusive men treat submissive wives?
The domination and control by either partner in a relationship, whether abusive or not, is contrary to the personal rights of an...
Popularity: 405 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you get an abuser to recognize the abuse for what it is?
I think the bottom line is recognizing that no one method will work for everyone. Every individual is who they are because of...
Popularity: 371 • Tools: Recategorize
What psychological tests discover an abuser?
Abuse doesn't have to be "discovered" - just observed. It is a behavior pattern, not a mental health diagnosis. It is clear that...
Popularity: 335 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you keep yourself from taking back an abusive partner?
get support from a loved one. Abusers try to alienate you so that you must rely on them. Open your eyes and prevent the situation...
Popularity: 330 • Tools: Recategorize
What does an emotional abuser get out of the abuse?
Personally I think all forms of abuse boil down to control sooner or later. That can be control out of fear, or a sense of...
Popularity: 310 • Tools: Recategorize
Do women stay in abusive relationships because of a fear of being alone?
Women stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons, it is never that simple. They may believe that they can work...
Popularity: 270 • Tools: Recategorize
Is withholding affection a form of abuse?
If you are talking about being a c*** block or a t*** swat then I would say that withholding affection is definately a SERIOUS...
Popularity: 269 • Tools: Recategorize
What is ambient or stealth abuse?
This is a very tricky tactic used by an abusive person to make you crazy. Since ambient abuse can not sometimes be visible the...
Popularity: 250 • Tools: Recategorize
How can a victim stop the cycle of abuse?
I think victims can stop the cycle of abuse by removing themselves from the situation and not adding fuel to the fire in any way....
Popularity: 242 • Tools: Recategorize
How can you spot an abuser while dating?
Note when he gets angry does he bunch his fists up? Does he get angry quickly? And most important of all if he ever hits you,...
Popularity: 240 • Tools: Recategorize
What should you do if your boyfriend is very controlling?
You need to set boundaries. You can't let him continue to push you, because before you know it.. you wont be able to block his...
Popularity: 235 • Tools: Recategorize
Can an argument provoke abuse?
An argument is a discussion which needs to take place, and sometimes it is not an easy topic. If one party escalates it there is...
Popularity: 232 • Tools: Recategorize
What should you do if you are remarried but still in love with your ex?
This actually happened to me... I left my wife for another woman, divorced one and married the other. Now the problems started...
Popularity: 223 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you avoid being abused?
Get out the relationship fast! if you are experiencing the aggressive side to someone and it makes you uncomfortable, leave...
Popularity: 219 • Tools: Recategorize
Does an emotionally abusive person feel a need to find closure at the end of a relationship?
If you are looking for closure from the abuser, it cannot be expected. Better to resolve to forgive the behavior and move on...
Popularity: 214 • Tools: Recategorize
Does alcohol make some people abusive?
Yes, unfortunately it does.
Popularity: 212 • Tools: Recategorize
How does a victim of abuse avoid being victimized by the justice system?
1) Know the laws of your state and hire an attorney who regularly represents victims of abuse. 2) Gather as much evidence as...
Popularity: 211 • Tools: Recategorize
What do you do if you are being abused by your son?
I know that if you have other children it really does affect their mind set. He may have even gotten this habit from his father....
Popularity: 210 • Tools: Recategorize
Should you confront your abuser?
NO. Never confront an abuser especially one who has demonstrated a violent history. Never argue with him or disagree. Agree with...
Popularity: 208 • Tools: Recategorize
What is the 'honeymoon phase' of an abusive relationship?
Idealization - followed by devaluation - is one of the hallmarks of abuse. Unpredictable, ever-shifting behavior is abusive and...
Popularity: 208 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you raise your children so that they will have healthy relationships?
The narcissistic condition emanates from a seismic break of trust, a tectonic shift of what should have been a healthy...
Popularity: 207 • Tools: Recategorize
How common is domestic violence?
From an entry I wrote for the Open Site encyclopedia: Family Violence The marked reduction in domestic violence in the last...
Popularity: 206 • Tools: Recategorize
How can you stop your husband's abuse?
Patricia Evans in her book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship" has some ideas to do this. However, in my short experience, it...
Popularity: 206 • Tools: Recategorize
Can you provoke abuse?
Change counsellor - and do it now! Blaming the victim is the hallmark of an unempathic and ignorant mental health professional!...
Popularity: 204 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you start over after an abusive relationship?
In the aftermath of abuse, finding a job is the least of your problem. The first - and most crucial - task is emotional...
Popularity: 203 • Tools: Recategorize
Can therapy help an abuser?
Statistically, the odds of an abuser changing are low. However, there are key indicators you can watch for in a person who is...
Popularity: 202 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you know if you are really being verbally and mentally abused?
I would add that my best resource for this question was "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. In my experience,...
Popularity: 202 • Tools: Recategorize
What causes someone to become an abuser?
Statistics show that intimate partner abuse, including domestic violence, has declined by one half in the last decade in the...
Popularity: 199 • Tools: Recategorize
Why does someone become abusive?
To make themselves feel powerful... to let you know whose boss. Men are like that. The cultural and social context of...
Popularity: 196 • Tools: Recategorize
How do emotionally abusive and sometimes absent fathers affect their daughter's relationships with other men?
Hi Everyone, I too have shared your pain - rest assured, I also echo your sentiments. Unfortunately, parents are the real...
Popularity: 196 • Tools: Recategorize
What causes a person to remain in an abusive relationship?
It takes two to tango and an equal number to sustain a long-term abusive relationship. The abuser and the abused form a bond, a...
Popularity: 195 • Tools: Recategorize
Will a man with a history of abuse always abuse his next partner?
Statistically, the odds of an abuser changing are low. However, there are key indicators you can watch for in a person who is...
Popularity: 193 • Tools: Recategorize
Are you a victim of abuse if your husband treats you like a child and is silent and sulky when angry?
The "silent treatment" is one of the more notorious forms of abuse. For a survey of abusive behaviors, go here: See related link...
Popularity: 192 • Tools: Recategorize
If you are in love with someone but you do not know if they love you back how can you know if they at least like you?
Sry but there's no list you can follow to say if someone loves you or not since we are all different. You need to start with...
Popularity: 192 • Tools: Recategorize
What can you do if your abuser fools the court evaluator?
Even a complete battery of tests, administered by experienced professionals sometimes fails to identify abusers and their...
Popularity: 190 • Tools: Recategorize
How many years does it take to move on after an abusive relationship?
I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for over 10 years. I think it depends on the person, the type(s) of abuse, and the...
Popularity: 190 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you know if your marriage therapist is doing a good job?
There is no universal "checklist". Whether a treatment modality is successful or not depends on what were its original goals...
Popularity: 189 • Tools: Recategorize
After a narcissist loses his narcissistic mother how does he cope?
Overweening, smothering, spoiling, overvaluing, and idolizing the child - are all forms of parental abuse. This is because, as...
Popularity: 187 • Tools: Recategorize
Is there any type of financial assistance to help people in abusive relationships leave their state?
If you are not divorced, you can leave with your children since you are their parent. There are agencies in every town (ie...
Popularity: 187 • Tools: Recategorize
How can an emotionally mentally and verbally abused pregnant wife get her husband out of the home?
If he will go away, then do it the way below. Otherwise, remove yourself for the safety of your child. The other stuff will...
Popularity: 186 • Tools: Recategorize
What can you do about an ex-husband brainwashing the children to believe the divorce was your fault?
We both took the high road; however my sons, now in their twenties, do realize what the issue was with their father. As the first...
Popularity: 186 • Tools: Recategorize
In relation to historical rates of domestic violence have domestic violence advocacy groups increased or decreased?
The number of advocacy groups which deal with intimate partner violence increased - even as the rates of such abuse...
Popularity: 185 • Tools: Recategorize
Could an abuser abandon a long-term friend overnight?
He is very likely to call you again if he fails to secure alternative sources of narcissistic supply. May I ask a...
Popularity: 183 • Tools: Recategorize
Can abuse be a sign of a mental problem?
Abusers appear to be suffering from dissociation (multiple personality). At home, they are intimidating and suffocating monsters...
Popularity: 181 • Tools: Recategorize
Why do some people have multiple relationships that end up abusive?
Multiple abusive relationships are a classic example of not expecting change without doing anything different. One thing I've...
Popularity: 180 • Tools: Recategorize
Is smashing household things and yelling a form of abuse?
Of course it is a form of abuse. The abuser acts unpredictably, capriciously, inconsistently and irrationally. This serves to...
Popularity: 180 • Tools: Recategorize
How can you convince a friend that his girlfriend is abusive?
you should tell him straight up if he dont believe you, he's no friend You may refer him to Web sites about abuse. Tell...
Popularity: 178 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you tell someone that your partner is abusive and not be afraid?
Find a local place that takes women in who have abusive partners. Do it without warning or otherwise alerting him. Do not use...
Popularity: 177 • Tools: Recategorize
How can someone trust another after being abused?
Yes, you can trust after being abused. Just not the abuser. You have to set boundaries for yourself, perhaps relearning ones...
Popularity: 177 • Tools: Recategorize
What is the success rate for the abuser's recovery given all possible forms of therapy for the particular kind of abuse?
If there is an addiction there might be a slight chance of getting rid of the addiction and maybe them turning there life around,...
Popularity: 176 • Tools: Recategorize
Are women in the age range of 16-25 or 25 and over more susceptible to abuse?
You can find abuse statistics...
Popularity: 176 • Tools: Recategorize
Is it common for an abuser's friends and family to encourage him to be abusive?
The commonality may be less the direct action of encouragement than a learned response to the abuse. The family may avoid seeing,...
Popularity: 173 • Tools: Recategorize
Can you trust an abuser to honor agreements?
My bad...I failed to mention that i am seeking help outside of just trying to do it myself. I am already seeing our chaplain and...
Popularity: 171 • Tools: Recategorize
If an abusive man is in therapy is it safe to stay with him or is leaving better?
The best reconciliation information I have read, says to separate while the process is going on. Then, you each can become the...
Popularity: 170 • Tools: Recategorize
If your man is always calling you names what should you do?
You need to tell him, firmly and clearly, to stop calling you deragatory words, and he needs to comply with this. If he refuses...
Popularity: 170 • Tools: Recategorize
What do you do when your best friend physically and emotionally abuses you?
Unfortunately, this person is not ACTING as a best friend. Possibly it is not intentional, but the deal is that you should...
Popularity: 165 • Tools: Recategorize
Why is it so hard to hold an abusive person accountable for their actions?
Because they deny that they are abusers to start with! Abusers regularly deny the abuse ever took place - or rationalize...
Popularity: 160 • Tools: Recategorize
Why are feelings of guilt and self-doubt so strong when one tries to get rid of their abuser even though one has had enough?
It's called Battered Women's Syndrome: Battered woman syndrome describes a pattern of psychological and behavioral symptoms...
Popularity: 158 • Tools: Recategorize
Other than death what can happen to the abused?
Each type of abuse has its own ugly and long lasting outcome: physical injuries is only one type. But all abused victims are...
Popularity: 157 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you stay with an abusive partner?
A better question to ask would be 'Why would you want to?' No one in their right mind would stay with an abusive partner on...
Popularity: 156 • Tools: Recategorize
As an outsider what can one do to protect their loved one?
In general, almost nothing. If you have hard evidence regarding a planned, or attempted crime (battering, assault, and, in many...
Popularity: 155 • Tools: Recategorize
How can you deny joint custody to an abusive parent?
I have a child from an abusive father and I talked with the lawyer, I know that if he doesn't pay child support for a year you...
Popularity: 154 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you respond to someone who ignores you when you are speaking to them physically turns away or mumbles in response or flatly refuses to respond?
Rolling their eyes, not answering a question and ignoring you--or interrupting with anger--are signs of disrespect. It is not...
Popularity: 154 • Tools: Recategorize
What are the chances of someone who has only been in love with abusive and narcissistic men ever falling in love with an emotionally healthy person?
Therapy can help as can updating your sense of attraction for men. The old saying is, "If you do not change what you are doing,...
Popularity: 152 • Tools: Recategorize
What is a sociopath?
Antisocial Personality Disorder is also known as psychopathy or sociopathy. Individuals with this disorder have little regard for...
Popularity: 147 • Tools: Recategorize
How should a man handle a woman he considers abusive especially when the abuse often triggers rage?
I think the man should separate from the woman...immediately. This is not to condone the rage or angry behavior (shouting?), but...
Popularity: 145 • Tools: Recategorize
Are there any statistics regarding abusers reforming?
Hard to believe - but not really! All the data available is - perhaps intentionally anecdotal. It is commonly agreed upon that...
Popularity: 139 • Tools: Recategorize
What are the symptoms of a child with a sexually abusive father?
Hi, I hope I can help you. If a child is being sexually abused, obviously, the poor child will not speak up. If you are close to...
Popularity: 123 • Tools: Recategorize
What steps should an abused wife take to start divorce proceedings?
Create some additional safety before you go: get a post office box for ALL of your mail, put codes on all of your utilities so he...
Popularity: 123 • Tools: Recategorize
Is infidelity a justified cause for abuse?
Infidelity doesn't cause abuse...it causes a reaction. Then the question is whether that reaction is appropriate or...
Popularity: 121 • Tools: Recategorize
What type of women get abused?
Abuse cuts across cultures, societies, races, ethnicities, and social-economic demographics. But there is a profile of a...
Popularity: 115 • Tools: Recategorize
How can you tell if your son is being abused by his girlfriend?
This is one of those very difficult things to find out from your children. I would have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Start out...
Popularity: 107 • Tools: Recategorize
What is abuse by proxy?
Popularity: 102 • Tools: Recategorize • Needs Answer
Is the narcissist ever sorry and does he ever apologize?
I find they are so very weak they can never directly apologise. They will say things like they should be nicer they realise this...
Popularity: 99 • Tools: Recategorize
What are the odds of recovery for a spouse abuser that gets counseling?
Statistically, the odds of an abuser changing are low. However, there are key indicators you can watch for in a person who is...
Popularity: 99 • Tools: Recategorize
Should a man be worried for safety reasons if he is dating and in love with a woman who is divorcing an abusive husband?
The best predictor of future violence - is past violence. the abuser regards his spouse as a possession, an extension of himself,...
Popularity: 97 • Tools: Recategorize
Can a victim of ambient abuse have doubts about whether they are a victim or not?
Abuse involves "mind games". The abuser shifts the blame and guilt to others. He makes them feel insane. Abusers have alloplastic...
Popularity: 93 • Tools: Recategorize
Is a Passive-Aggressive person abusive?
Passive aggressive behavior, abusive or not, stops the flow of a healthy relationship based on communication. This is because the...
Popularity: 92 • Tools: Recategorize
Why would abuse start after 15 years of marriage?
I had a similar situation, but I think the minor problem behaviors of earlier years escalated since he was in a very stressful...
Popularity: 90 • Tools: Recategorize
How can you love someone who verbally abuses you about past relationships?
Abusers and their victims form dyads of codependence. It takes two to tango � and an equal number to sustain a long-term...
Popularity: 90 • Tools: Recategorize
How can you get away from an abusive relationship if you have nowhere to turn or if you are scared for your life?
You DO have somewhere to turn. As soon as he is away from you, get to a phone and call 911. They will send the police to help...
Popularity: 90 • Tools: Recategorize
What should you do about an abusive insecure jealous boyfriend?
Does he respect your boundaries and privacy? Does he ignore your wishes (for instance, by choosing from the menu or selecting a...
Popularity: 88 • Tools: Recategorize
Is it common for the narcissist to get 'crushes' on others a lot?
IT HAS BEEN WITH MY VERBAL ABUSER YES THEY DO ANYTHING THAT MAKES THEM FEEL SOMETHING THEY ARE NOT. my experience with my ex...
Popularity: 88 • Tools: Recategorize
Is it abuse if someone will not commit to you?
I don't see any abuse here. He is up-front and honest with you. He refuses to commit himself. It is a take it or leave him...
Popularity: 86 • Tools: Recategorize
If you are not sure what mood your partner's going to be in when he comes in from work is this a sign of abuse?
Do you mean you are frightened by the thought that he'll come home in a bad mood? If so, there is most likely an element of abuse...
Popularity: 85 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you tell your partner he is being verbally abusive and what is the most productive way to handle his reaction?
There are two ways to approach it. I call them the submissive and the conflictive postures. You have to just tell him calmly...
Popularity: 84 • Tools: Recategorize
Why do women stay in abusive relationships?
People � overwhelmingly women � remain in an abusive household for a variety of reasons: economic, parental (to protect the...
Popularity: 84 • Tools: Recategorize
Is it possible for an abuser to recognize what they are doing and stop the behavior before any actual violence occurs?
Abusive behavior rarely involves physical violence (battering). More often, it is ambient. Abusers are in full control of their...
Popularity: 83 • Tools: Recategorize
How does a past abuser apologize to his or her past victim?
Very few abusers put their abusive conduct behind them. And when they do apologize - a rarity - they do so because they want...
Popularity: 83 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you know if you are in an abusive relationship or if you are depressed and that makes you think irrationally?
Hello I try to stay close to people who are healthy (mrenatlly and emoninally and spirtually) and are growing...
Popularity: 83 • Tools: Recategorize
What do you do when the counselors and evaluators say you are the abuser?
In the process of mediation, marital therapy, or evaluation, counselors frequently propose various techniques to ameliorate the...
Popularity: 82 • Tools: Recategorize
Is it abuse if you say no everytime your spouse wants sex and he gets mad and keeps trying?
Yes. Making a person feel bad for not having sex is abusing them. Abuse is defined as any thing that is harmful, injurious, or...
Popularity: 82 • Tools: Recategorize
Why is it that many abused women can't stop loving their abusive ex's?
Several reasons: She has been programmed by shame and guilt to accept responsibility for creating the "bad" side of him and she's...
Popularity: 82 • Tools: Recategorize
Is constant affection abusive?
If this is literally constant affection, then it counts as an obsession. Obsession towards a person can very easily lead to...
Popularity: 82 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you know if you are over-possessive?
Do you always know exactly where he is, who he is with, and what they are doing? When he isn't at work, is he always with you,...
Popularity: 81 • Tools: Recategorize
How do you legitimately earn trust from someone who has been abused by another in the past and has problems trusting others?
Our natural tendency is to trust, because we trust our parents. It feels good to really trust. It is also an essential component...
Popularity: 81 • Tools: Recategorize
How soon after an abusive relationship ends does the abuser seek another relationship?
Almost immediately. Many abusers are narcissists and crave narcissistic supply. Very quickly! Sometimes before he ends his...
Popularity: 81 • Tools: Recategorize
Why does it take so long to get rid of an abuser even if one is firm and resolute?
Abusers and their victims form dyads of codependence. It takes two to tango � and an equal number to sustain a long-term...
Popularity: 80 • Tools: Recategorize
If you were in an abusive marriage is it normal for your 18-year-old to be angry and mean to you?
The abuser may recruit his children to do his bidding. He may use them to tempt, convince, communicate, threaten, and otherwise...
Popularity: 80 • Tools: Recategorize
