Jokes and Riddles
Tickle your brain! Laugh and have some fun! f you know a great, non-offensive joke or riddle, this is the place for it!
Total questions 9300
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Woodchucks Chucking Wood I think that the woodchuck could chuck as much wood as he wanted! By the way what is a wood chuck? Is...
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: For the greater good. Captain James T Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Richard Nixon: The chicken did...
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Is the statement 'this statement is false' true or false?
It is a paradox in other words. If you would like a simple answer, this is it: neither. Liar's Paradox: "This statement is...
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In Lewis Carroll's 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' what is the answer to the Mad Hatter's riddle 'How is a raven like a writing desk'?
"Have you guessed the riddle yet?" the Hatter said, turning to Alice again."No, I give it up," Alice replied. "What's the...
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What is greater than God... more evil than the devil... the poor have it... the rich need it... and if you eat it you will die?
'Nothing!' "Nothing" is the answer to the riddle. Nothing is greater than God or more evil than the devil. Poor people have...
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If Ivysaur evolved from Bulbasaur what did rocks evolve from?
Geodude? Yeah, definently Geodude. Either it's supposed to be a Pokemon riddle or the answer would be the ground.
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If two frogs bet 300 dollars on dog racing how much do they win?
Why would frogs have money?! ---- This depends on which dog wins, if both frogs pick the wrong dog, they wouldn't win...
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What pranks can you play on people when they sleep over?
IMPORTANT: Never do anything that could cause harm, or severe discomfort, such as using hot sauce or shoving items up their nose,...
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?
One possible Answer Everything that vibrates the air creates the potential for sound, regardless of what conscious being is...
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Why are jokes about people with no arms considered funny?
Of course it isn't funny. It's an example of cruel, insensitive people who take delight in ridiculing those who have a serious...
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What occurs once in every minute twice in every moment yet never in a thousand years?
The letter 'm'. Once in every minute, twice in every moment, yet never in a thousand years, (no 'm' there)
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How did blonde jokes get started?
Actually, blonde jokes started because of one person. Ever heard of Marilyn Monroe? She decided that in her life she would...
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You have 2 coins in your pocket that equal thirty cents one coin is not a nickle what coins are in your pocket?
The non-American translation is in brackets. A quarter (25 cents) and a nickel (5 cents). The other coin is a nickel.
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What weighs more 1 kilogram of feathers or 1 kilogram of bricks?
1 kg of feathers vs. 1 kg of bricks They weigh the same! It's a trick question. This is a trick question: A kilogram is a...
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When will Orlando 'bloom'?
Usually around Early June or late May. As long as you water it every day you should be good and it should take care of itself.
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What is the thing which comes 'once in a year' 'two times in a month' 'four times a week' and 'six times a day'?
'Odd' numbers. '6' in a Day, there are 6 odd hours.- take day hours in 12 hour format, not in a 24 hour format. (1), 2, (3), 4,...
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What is the island nation whose capital city's name is derived from its estuarine position?
Tokyo meaning 'the eastern capital' in japanese I believe the Island would be Japan, Tokyo is the capital of said island.
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Maint required light is on On a 1988 dodge 318 other then the O2 sensor what else could be the problem?
There are two lights that come on to indicate problems. One says "Maint Required" and the other says "Check Engine." To my...
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When do the cows come home?
When its the farmers and his wifes 'mating season'. "'Till the cows come home" means forever. If you talk to a dairy farmer who...
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Why didn't the zombie eat the clown?
Because he tasted funny
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How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. The narcissist holds the bulb and the world turns beneath them. = Answer = Well now, if the lightbulb has VERY GOOD...
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If April showers bring May Flowers then May Flowers bring what?
Pilgrims, as in "Mayflower"? Or, "April Showers bring May Flowers, May Flowers bring JUNE BUGS!!
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What is dingle berry?
A 'dingle berry' is a wad of horse waste that gets caught near its behind or in its tail hair. Originally called dangle or dingle...
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What do they have in common Alberta Calgary Banff Glacier Park Kamloops Tsawwassen Sooke?
They're all in western Canada?
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What can pass through water without getting wet?
Light. Answer Light and any type of gas.
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Where do polar bears vote?
The North Polls.
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What did the wave say to the ocean?
nothing he justed waved...lol Answer Keep it up and my name is mud
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How do you open a door without using your hands?
Well i kick my door open my handle is the one you pull up or if i'm in my house and my hands are full i can use my toes 3inaRo-...
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Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because seven was hungry and "seven, eight, nine" (7, 8, 9). Because 7-8-9.
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A man walked into a bar and ordered a drink but instead the bartender pointed a gun at him the man smiled and thanked the bartender and left whats going on?
A good bartender is supposed to know what kind of drink the customer wants. He evidently saw that his customer had the hiccups....
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There is a house in which all the walls face south a bear walks by a window what color is the bear?
It's white (a polar bear) because you're at the North Pole.
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What is considered the hardest riddle in the world?
This question is mainly opinion; the riddles that users have thought to be the hardest are as follows: In a street there are...
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What word has 6 letters the last one being a vowel and it's something you would put on to go outside BUT if you change the last letter to a consonant it becomes an outdoor activity?
Bikini and you change the "I" to a "G." Biking.
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Why can't leopards play hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted.
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How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
Imagine you are a blond (if you aren't one ) Answer Put her in a circular room and tell her to find four corners Answer...
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If there are 500 sheep 2 sheep dogs and 5 foxes how many sheep will there be left?
The simple answer would be : none eventually with three foxes eating them up. But the joke answer would be : 500. Wolves, not...
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What do Eskimoes get when they sit on ice too long?
Polaroids :)
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You are in a room where there are no objects except for two iron rods Only one of them is a magnet How can you identify the magnet?
Take a rod and touch with its end the middle of the second rod. If they move closer to one another, then you have a magnet in...
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Where can a one legged waitress find work?
A one legged waitress can work at IHOP. or Eileen's Cheesecake, Eileen's Country Kitchen, or any other variation of the...
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Old Answer : to get to the other side. New Answer : to get to his outer hide. Lame Joke : to get to the body shop. Or : to...
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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
You have me laughing out loud. It's like the question "Why is the word infinitesimal so big?" LOL. Kinda like "Why is it called...
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What does the joke 'Why can't hipsters do karate ... because they can't get past the white belt' mean and why is it funny?
A hipster is a skirt worn low on the hips, below the belt line. A hipster can't get past the white belt because it's worn below...
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Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
She didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares why is there a song about it?
This is an old slave song, and it is not about "Jimmy" but about the blue-tail fly, which bit the horse the slave's master was...
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What is behind the green glass door?
Green is behind the green glass door. Glass is behind the green glass door. Door is behind the green glass door. Streets are...
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Why is an alarm clock going off when it actually turns on?
First of all it is not the clock that is going off, it is the alarm. The alarm is not coming on as the alarm has already been set...
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How do you make the number seven even?
The answer is that you take away the "S" , and then it is even
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What do penguins ride?
Ice cycles. Also.... Other penguins
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The one who made it didn't want it. The one who bought it didn't need it. The one who used it never saw it. What is it?
The answer is a coffin. (ulp!)
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How do you steal Lucky Charms?
Stealing Me Lucky Charms "Don't Steal Me Lucky Charms," as they say. Stealing is illegal.
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Can rapidly clicking on the mouse and yelling at your computer decrease load time?
Based on results from continuously pressing the elevator call button to make the elevator come to your floor faster, this very...
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Why did the basketball player go to the doctor?
since doctors clinic is far away........so he had to...go Answer Because he couldn't stop dribbling. Answer Because,...
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How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
three. One to screw in the lightbulb, and two to smoke crack.
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What do you call a poster advertising the last teddy for sale?
A one ted poster.
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If you are born again do you have two belly buttons?
No No. Being born again is a spiritual term. You don't get physically reborn. You can't physically reenter your mother's womb...
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Knock knock who's there?
Doris. Doris who? Doris locked -- that's why I had to knock! Teddy. Teddy who? Teddy is the first day of the rest of your life....
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Why is it against the law for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?
Because he is still living!
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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
BALLS test-icals lol
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How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
The man on the moon... eclipse it.
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How many DIY buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but it takes him two weekends and three trips to the hardware store.
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What is 5 F in a F Short for?
5 fingers in a fist Answer 5 fingers in a foot
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What is the best thing since sliced bread?
Chuck Norris answered by firebird1282 My latest invention. Really, Sliced bread was invented in 1927 and began production in...
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What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman?
A brush with the law.
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What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagen?
Far-from-thinkin.
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How many pecks of pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
Peter Piper didn't pick any pecks of pickled peppers 'cause pickled peppers aren't pickled when they are picked. Peter Piper...
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If a rancher has 33 head of cattle standing in a field when suddenly a bolt of lightning kills all but 9 of them then how many head of cattle are left standing?
9 because the lightning kills ALL, BUT nine cattle. So all the cattle are dead except for 9 I think 0 because wouldn't the...
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Do fish get thirsty?
They sure do! Freshwater fish receive water by it going into their skin and into the system, but they do get some water through...
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If you have two drums one is three gallons and the other is five if you have an unlimited supply of water but need to get exactly four gallons how could you do it?
s: Fill the 5-gallon drum. Pour the contents into the 3-gallon drum, filling it. Now you have 2 gallons left in the big one. ...
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Why is it that raindrops but snowfalls?
Same reason that blood clots and snowflakes. What is the reason?
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What are some good adult treasure hunt clues?
Clue: "In reverse I am the apex, the upper most elite, but my dull reality is simply full of peat." Answer: a pot.
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What is the difference between kamikaze watermelons and kamikaze bombers?
one tasty one blow your brains up One is a fruit that you scream for joy when you enjoy it, one screams KAMIKAZE!!!! back at you...
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What are some signs that you might be a redneck?
Signs You Might be a Redneck Here are what WikiAnswers lively contributors have to say: You may be a redneck if you are...
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Why cant the blonde add 10 and 7 on a calculator?
Because she can't find the 10 key.
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What did the rabbit corkscrew say to the wine bottle?
It said, 'No wine for you... unless you open up!"
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What is it that fishermen love and doctors hate?
the answer is CHATHURINGMES its a sort of worm,, may be latin or spanish for worms............ but i dont know why kids...
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Why did the strawberry go out with the plum?
Because it could not get a date. To help out someone who was in a jam. to be strabery plum
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A question for you. I am a thing. Teachers hate me. Cow likes me. Monkey eats me. I am a 9 letter word -o--m--y- It's a challenge for you?
The answer is TAUTONYMS which is considered to be any word or term made from two identical parts or syllables. The teacher hate...
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Which is the funniest joke in the world?
There was actually a study/contest run by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002. Here's the winner: "Two...
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Can you get cornered in a round room?
There is two answers to this question the reason being is because you can be surounded by alot of people in a round room. No,...
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What is a thing which come once in a year twice in a month four time in a week and six time in a day?
In a day we have six odd hours, in a week there are four odd days, in a month there are two odd weeks and these appear once in a...
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Why shouldn't a deaf or disabled person get the deaf penalty?
Because they already suffered enough from your question.
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Why did King Kong buy 15 pairs of shoes?
Because he was a 30-foot monster. -Secretly, he had a shoe fetish, and when he got to New York and saw all the shops, he just...
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Are crop circles the work of a cereal killer?
crop circles and cereal killers Husk,Husk! How RYE you are. WHEAT can't be sure about this. A rather CORNY question to ask....
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How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they like it in the dark.
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How many reruns can be reran before having to be rewound to be reran as a rerun?
One. After the first rerun, it's always a rerun and needs rewound. I disagree before you can rerun something it has to be...
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What is the Spanish name for Lance?
there's not a spanish name for Lance It is Lanza
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What is black and white and red all over?
A Newspaper sunburned penguin
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What does the sentence 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' have that no other sentence has?
All Letters This sentence has every letter in the alphabet in it. May be the shortest sentence using the entire alphabet. ...
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I am a thing Teachers hate me Cows like me Monkeys eat me I have 9 letters 2nd is a 5th is o 8th is Y?
tautonyms - the clues all refer to words that repeat in a name or classification. Teachers hate me : botany no longer allows the...
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Why did the chicken cross the road according to various famous people?
Louis Farrakhan: The chicken didn't cross the road! The road crossed the chicken! Martin Luther King, Jr: I have a dream! I have...
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Who is the most handsome in the world?
Me
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Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Because he was too chicken Answer This is the best one yet and it is the true one. because there was a KFC (Kentucky Fried...
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There are three English words ending with gry Two of them are hungry and angry The third word is very common In fact you have just encountered it What is the third word?
Three :-P Answer There are NOT three words in the English language that end with "gry". At least not three COMMON words. The...
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Gift and you are cursed?
It helps if you put your question in a complete sentence, even if it is a joke.
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Why are dogs mans best friend?
If you look closely, "God" is "Dog" spelled backwards. <3 But cats rule too The reason why is because they spend a lot of...
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How many bites can you take off a whole sandwich?
Just one. Then it is no longer a whole sandwich.
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Would you use a silencer if you were going to shoot a mime?
Silencers are specifically against the law. ATF will come and get you. Shoot him outloud!!! Answer Affirmative. ...
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Who made up jokes?
Anyone with a good sense of humor and imagination. Then where did humor come from?
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What is greater than God more evil than the devil poor people have it rich people want it and if you eat it you will die??
The answer to the riddle is "nothing". (Nothing is greater than God. Nothing is more evil than the devil. The poor have nothing....
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