HOW CAN YOU TELL IF THE ONE YOU LOVE IS JUST USING YOU?

You will know this for yourself, but you can approach this with a somewhat Utilitarian point of view. Utilitarianism was a philosophy in which good or bad are weighed by objective means, or at least personally true means. For instance, it solves moral questions such as 'Is capital punishment bad?' --- you make a list of the good and a list of the bad involving it, and whatever outweighs the other answers it. If you try this with your relationship, you might see a similar result. You will feel used when you feel like you are giving more than you are getting, you will feel tired of giving and perhaps become apathetic, you will either lose expectations in your lover or cling to the ones you have fiercely. You will see that these feelings will begin to outweigh your feeling of happiness, and when they do you are probably being used. Although that might not be their intention, all people are egocentric. Naturally, our perception revolves around ourselves because that is the only tangible reality we are able to understand and accept. Therefore, he or she might not be fully in tune with what you need and might simply be acting selfishly, but without bad intention. I would advise you to discuss it with them, and if it doesn't change you could settle on being used and would probably be better off leaving, because love is not made of material gain.

First answer by Underink. Last edit by Underink. Contributor trust: 8 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 5 [recommend question]