How are violations of etiquette handled?

Answer 1

Slight and unintentional ones are politely ignored.Gross blunders or gratuitous rudeness must be addressed . We hope the perpetrator has a companoin , spouse or parent present to deal with it. If not, the host or hostess must take the person aside discreetly and have a private word with them. If they are unapologetic or belligerent, you may ask them to leave.
It depends on the violation. If a person makes a minor violation, such as referring to a Mrs. and Miss, it is most likely ignored. With a major breach, such as obscene or disruptive behavior, the violator may be escorted out.

Typically, it is somewhere in between. The purpose of etiquette is to make other people feel comfortable and welcome. If you are rude, people will probably feel less comfortable around you and it will have an effect on how they perceive you and whether they wish to be around you in the future.

See related answer of 28 Sept.
Proper etiquette demands that when a breech of etiquette occurs, the number one priority is the comfort of the person who broke etiquette. That person should never be made to feel embarassed, self-conscious, or rude. The breech should be (at least pretended to be) ignored. Second priority in etiquette is to reduce the damage caused while still not drawing attention to the breach of etiquette.

Example: Joe is having dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He begins talking about sexual relationships with his former partners. The proper etiquette here would be for no person at the table to be taken aback. No person should look surprised or disgusted. Then, in order to reduce damage, the subject should be changed. His words should be ignored by everyone at the table and anyone may change the subject. This guarantees his comfort while not distorting his and her relationship, and at the same time, gets away from the displeasure of the subject. It also gives him a chance, without being chastized, to realize his error and also to redeem himself.

This is example is WAY beyond a breech of etiquette. This is blatant crude behavior. If Joe does not get the hint IMMEDIATELY and says one more thing on the subject, the eldest gentlman in the group should ask Joe if they may have a word in private and let him know this is NOT acceptable dinner table conversation, and is embarrassing everyone, but mostly Joe himself. The comfort of the ladies should take precedence over Joe's lack of social graces.

Answer 2

Proper etiquette demands that when a breech of etiquette occurs, the number one priority is the comfort of the person who broke etiquette. That person should never be made to feel embarassed, self-conscious, or rude. The breech should be (at least pretended to be) ignored. Second priority in etiquette is to reduce the damage caused while still not drawing attention to the breach of etiquette.

Example: Joe is having dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He begins talking about sexual relationships with his former partners. The proper etiquette here would be for no person at the table to be taken aback. No person should look surprised or disgusted. Then, in order to reduce damage, the subject should be changed. His words should be ignored by everyone at the table and anyone may change the subject. This guarantees his comfort while not distorting his and her relationship, and at the same time, gets away from the displeasure of the subject. It also gives him a chance, without being chastized, to realize his error and also to redeem himself.

This is example is WAY beyond a breech of etiquette. This is blatant crude behavior. If Joe does not get the hint IMMEDIATELY and says one more thing on the subject, the eldest gentlman in the group should ask Joe if they may have a word in private and let him know this is NOT acceptable dinner table conversation, and is embarrassing everyone, but mostly Joe himself. The comfort of the ladies should take precedence over Joe's lack of social graces.