How can a guy win back an ex who says she wants you back if her current relationship doesn't work?

Answer 1

It's not that simple...We were dating for 3 years and started as the very best of friends. I am 21 and she is 17. We have since spent every day together and even when I moved away for college...we still talked daily and made the efforts to see each other. We had some issues between us (jealousy mostly) and we wound up splitting. She says she is still in love with me, but cannot love me the same because she is with a new guy. We talk on the phone still...as best friends.

This new guy is almost 26, and I worry for her. I feel that she is just going through a rebound phase and will come back to me when she realizes she was just looking for someone to hold and kiss while I am gone. I will be back in our town in 2 months but I don't want to move back if she is gone forever.

How can I show her I love her still and pull her out of this relationship? Her parents are abusing her about the relationship, and he seems to be good for her but...I am scared for her. I don't ever want to hurt her as I love her dearly, but I also miss her so much that it hurts me constantly.

It sounds like your girlfriend (she may not even realize it) is looking for not only acceptance, but trying to mature and become independent, but is doing it the wrong way. She is dating men to see her through it and not giving herself head space to get to know who SHE is and what her strength and weakness' are.

People who love each other should have trust and jealousy shouldn't even enter into it. Since you mentioned you had jealousy issues then this is a lack of confidence and a sign of immaturity. If one or both of you tried to make the other jealous then it was never love in the first place.

I have no doubt you are good friends, but both of you need some growing time to mature. You can still achieve this and hopefully she'll see the light and do the same thing. With her parents always at her regarding her new boyfriend this will only make her stubborn to the point of possibly ruining her life and end up living or married to this guy. It's best not to put pressure on her whether it be her parents or you.

The more interest you show in her the more secure she thinks she is. Here she has a boyfriend she thinks she loves and there you are (she hasn't even considered your feelings) on the sidelines waiting to pick her up when she falls. Hey, let her fall hard! It will teach her a lesson and that's how we mature. Quit babying this girl. No matter how much we love someone (this includes family and friends as well) we have to give our best advice and then stand back and let the person either take the advice or pay the consequences for their own actions.

It's time for you to look at this rationally. She has chosen another guy, he appears to be good to her so let it play out. Instead of making every hour of every day your personal agenda to keep her safe it's time you got out with friends and back into the dating circuit. No one respects someone they can use as a whipping post. Perhaps if she sees you aren't around so much and out dating this could be what brings her back to you. Take the risk!

Good luck!

Why would you want to be sloppy seconds. This person is playing head games with you and is using you for their own gratification. Besides what guarantee do you have that if she comes back she wont do the same thing again in the future when it strikes her mood. A committed relationship is one where both people consider the others feelings in everything they do and this woman does not sound like she's thought about your feelings at all. Your not a yoyo to be toyed with you are a man that deserves a good woman and that woman should deserve your affections the same. Please dont waste anymore time on a person like this, you will regret it in the end. P.S. Please go to some self-esteem classes because the fact you would even consider taking her back means you dont have much value of your own self worth.