How can a man deal with a narcissistic woman who has total control over the children?

Answer

I am personally in this circumstance myself. I found the above question as I was continuing my own research on the matter. Reviewing all of the research information that I have personally seen, I have only interpreted one answer to the question with two possible outcomes.

Answer to the question: There is no way to deal with a narcissist. A true NPD is not going to change except for brief moments when they have something up their sleeve. The research that I have read all suggest one thing: if you are in a relationship with a NPD, "RUN!". I believe this to be sound advise; however, in my situation, I truly love and care for the children. I have already seen evidence that the NPD mother and NPD grandparents are having a bad influence on the children. I have also seen the children (one male and one female) finding me to be their safety net. I have been able to be at least some positive influence on the children. They are my stepchildren and therefore if I leave, I loose any and all chances of making a difference in their life. My only choses are to "RUN!" or to suffer through all the abuse that a NPD will put you through, for the children. If I choose the later, you can bet that on the day the youngest child leaves home, it will still be in my best interest to "RUN!". Meanwhile I am going to see if I can get myself and the children some type of therapy.