How can you be more than friends?

Becoming more than friends

• Hey man, I've been in this exact situation and I was asking around just like you. After telling her over and over how I felt for her for a really long time, I stopped. Once that happened, she started asking me if I still liked her and how come I don't bring it up as much. I told her that she knows how I feel and telling her all the time obviously hasn't made a difference in our relationship. She missed the fact that I would always ask, "Why can't we be together?", "Don't you care for me too?" She began to grow feelings for me because she realized that it made a difference in her day if I told her how much I cared.

• The fact that she doesn't like to answer your questions is interesting. It sounds like one of the ways I have used to discourage guys from getting their hopes up. Perhaps she is content with being friends with you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings or your friendship, so she evades answering your direct questions.

• I can't say to give up hope on her -- yet. Give her some space. Don't make yourself seem so available by driving up to see her so often, and don't let her avoid answering your questions. It sounds like she's playing games to me or taking advantage of you. She's a woman in college not a little junior high gir! If you continue letting her string you along, you have no one to blame but yourself. Trust me, I've been there and played plenty of games. A woman cannot be expected to treat a man with respect if he doesn't respect himself. (This means don't let some girl walk all over you.) I finally grew up and learned not to toy with men's feelings, but not before I'd hurt a couple, unfortunately. Good luck.

• Give her space, become interested in other people. The feelings you have for your friend are much more intense than the feelings she has for you. While she may feel flattered by your attraction for her, it doesn't sound like she wants to date you at this time. This might hurt your feelings, but I think that it's maybe for the best. Be friends, but have your own outside interests and dates. In several months or years, she may change her mind, and by that time, you may or may not be as interested in her. But forcing the issue now will not to do either of you good.

• You may already have heard of me on television. If so, you also saw my wife Sandra. Take our experience getting together as an extreme example of what I believe makes a pair of friends more than that like you asked. The highest most important thing to be stressed is BEING WHAT SHE WANTS BUT FEELS SHE'LL NEVER HAVE. To do this what you have to be is a good active listener. If she gives you a chance and decides to open up on anything personal, keep it on your mind constantly. Be interested and willing to examine it mentally, be patient and willing to be there for her and meet half-way, (so to speak). Volunteer (when possible) to be of assistance to her. Offer strong indefinite emotional support while showing a concern and interest. I can guarentee you when done properly it more than pays off as it did in my own experinece. When I met Sandy, she was living with another woman. so right off the bat I doubted standing a chance. But what happened? By doing what I described I not only learned that her girlfriend was making her miserable, but also aided Sandy in riding of her then. So forth and now, we're about to celebrate our 2nd anniversary.

• Concentrate on making yourself happy. Get more involved in your own life. Make more friends, make more out of your own talents and abilities. Heck, start working out. Build yourself up but try and do it for you, not "her". You will find that you will have more confidence and be a happier person. This will make you a better, more attractive person. this will open the door to more people in your life. They will want to be around you because you flow with happiness and confidence. I guarantee you this girl will like you as more than a friend at this point. But the great part is, you will have all these new people in your life. You might not even care or feel the same about her anymore. You just have to try and be strong and try to be happy bub. Women dig that, but more important you will dig that. :-)

• Since this girl has shown an unwillingness to answer direct questions about the nature of your relationship, it may well be that she isn't interested in going further and doesn't know how to say this to your face. I would suggest you send her a letter, explaining that the uncertainty is causing you pain and that you need clarification of exactly what's going on. Don't beg or plead, simply state that you have, as she knows, had these feelings for a long time and that you want to give her the opportunity to make a pro-active decision without the awkwardness of face-to-face confrontation. Tell her that you will not be contacting her, but that you would like her to reply to the letter. Tell her that if she doesn't reply, you will assume she is rejecting you entirely, and you will no longer be in touch. Stick to this. Make it clear that you will be happy to remain friends if this is what she explicitly states she wants, but that you need an answer either way because quite frankly she is not being fair to you at the moment.

• Hey you aren't alone as I have been the same boat for three years. Keep trying until it works out, or you find someone else. Enough is enough! It would be nice to have someone that will like the person that I am. Do what you want. It's her loss.
• Hey, if she dosen't feel the same way move on. Its as simple as that. Besides its really hard to get a girl to change her feelings for a guy she sees as a friend. You only got a 15% chance of that! You can get better.

• SHE'S ONLY YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get this into your brain. Turning friends into girl/boy friends is a major scenario for a serious mess-up. THIS IS TRUE!!!!!!!!! If you liked her before that, I'm sorry for you. But you're the one who's going to suffer if you ask her out. Sorry, truth hurts.

• How to be more than friends: just kiss her while sweet dancing during the right time. Then you'll see if what develops later on ...

• Sometimes it is too late to become more then friends. If you have known her for more then five years and you have never shown her that you are interested in her more then a friend, sorry buddy but your screwed. Number one thing between friends is if you show any interest, during the whole time that you are friends. If you show her that you are interested and she never has given you the cold shoulder ask her out to something that you need to bring a date to. Say something like you couldn't find a date. She will think that it isn't really a date but it will give you an opportunity to be with her in a more then friendly way. During this non-date act more then friendly. See if she responds to you. If she does your golden, if she is pulling away from you, sorry again, you don't have a chance. Just remember the "it'd too late rule". If she acts weird around you when you are moving on her a little bit, that means that she only considers you a friend and nothing else. You are freaking her out and you need to give her a little time to see if she can make the transition of thinking of you as "just a friend" to more then a friend. If she can't make the transition then, you can't make her think of you that way no matter how hard you try.

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