How can you deal with feelings of anger and hatred towards a mother who gives you fewer freedoms but more responsibilities than your siblings?

Answer

There are times when it seems parents play favorites when it concerns children. And unfortunately, sometimes it's true. It might be helpful to talk to a guidance counselor or adult you like and trust. Or if at all possible, your mom. Maybe she doesn't realize how much work and rules she's given you. A lot of times parents are overwhelmed(just like you) and don't really see how unfair they might be toward their child. Try to find someone to mediate with your mom for you, like a grandparent or mininster.  

Answer

Perhaps the other answer will get you some freedom...but if you are still kept in the house most of the time...it would be very wise to find something you can do while you are in there to prepare for when you reach legal age. You have a computer, so you can learn alot for free, and if you have money you can pay for courses. Check out homelearningnews@yahoogroups.com and look in the links section plus the posts, for free learning sites. You can get a college loan once you are old enough to move out. Learn some crafts. Read. Plan, plan, plan. Use this time to get everything ready so you can advance in the right direction once you are "free". And continue to be kind. Don't add fuel to the fires.
like this weekend i can't do nothin b/c my stupid brattie aunt is coming but see my sister wants to go somewhere but my mom told her no so i couldn't go i hate her. 4 weeks ago i ask can i get my hair cut the neext day after asking she comes home from work her hair was cut now she is saying that I'll get it cut later well i think it is later don't u 4 weeks later  

Answer

A different look at this is this: You say your mother treats you like a "slave" while your siblings have "freedom". If you mean you help out more and she has you work around the house more; she may feel that you are more mature and you can be trusted to follow directions and do a good job completing a task. If this is the issue, you should feel trusted and appreciated and proud of yourself. This will be to your advantage as you grow up. If HOWEVER she is "playing favorites" then you should follow some of the other "answers" given. GOOD LUCK!  

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A story: My son used to call his father (who owns a restaurant) and tell him he was starving, that we had no food, and could he please send some food to the house? (usually something specific my son would request.) While his father is a generous and thoughtful man, I did begin to wonder why he kept sending delicious and plentiful meals to our house until we had a conversation and we both realized that our manipulative little darling simply cared for restaurant meals more than mine...and who wouldn't? The point is, you and your mother may be processing the same information in different ways and that could be causing some confusion. It's true that you may be more responsible and more dependable. It's also true that you may be less responsible and less dependable than your brothers and sisters but that you have difficulty perceiving your behavior in this way. Perhaps the 'slave' treatment' is really a consequence for unacceptable behavior...either way, it would probably be helpful to ask your mother why this is happening...  

Answer

Just think about it this way: if your mother loves you (I dunno, you SHOULD know), then it is probably for the best. If you are the one that does everything, you should have no problems in life. Your siblings will probably get accustomed to not do anything, and will fail misarably in life. Remember this: everything in life - EVERYTHING - is useful. Everything you do and learn is useful in life.


ANSWER
Ask your siblings to pitch in, and if they do not, bring that to the attention of your parents. If your parents continue to lasso you, and only you, with the responsibility, then clearly something is wrong. Address it directly with your parents. Believe me, I am the "adult slave" of my 84 year old mother, and it's awful. The reason it hasn't stopped is that my father was abusive, and now that he has passed away, my mother continues the abuse.