How can you hide your sexual orientation from others?

Answer 1

Generally, LGBT individuals who are closeted (do not disclose their sexuality to others) face higher stress, feelings of depression, and are less happy than those who have come out of the closet and embrace their sexuality. However, this is not to say that there isn't a time and a place for hiding your sexuality from others. There are situations at home, work, and around certain individuals where being in the closet serves valid purposes. Overall, coming out is an important individual decision that should be made with the individual's best interests in mind. That said, no one should feel like they will never be able to come out to anyone. Everyone will be able to gain acceptance at some stage in their life.

The following are behaviors that are often used that do not help anyone's purpose. The first is becoming very "anti-gay" in speech or behaviors. To gain acceptance, promoting intolerance is not a good idea. Further, those who actively discriminate and spread heterosexist messages are often placed under greater suspicion about their own sexualities. This is not a good path to choose. Another thing to try to avoid is emphasizing sexuality. Just bringing up the question can raise suspicions and give you grief. That said, you should feel like you have a place to turn for information and to vent and talk to others. Hopefully a trusted adult can help you here or a close friend. If not, there are many resources on the internet and elsewhere.

The following are some ideas that generally do work and do not harm anyone (including you) in the process. Wording can play a big piece here. Complimenting someone of your same gender is great, but be careful that it does not come off as something you do not want it to. Next, having a fake crush can be a good idea. Generally, close friends and family members expect you to "like" someone at most points in your life. Having an alibi can help avoid awkward questioning while not hurting others (fake relationships do hurt others!). Finally, if the question is ever pulled on you (e.g. "Are you gay?") don't freak out. You have not been outed and many straight people have been "accused" of being gay. Calmly handle the situation and know your secret is still safe.

In the long run, the closet probably isn't the best solution for all problems. Many LGBT individuals who finally come out of the closet feel a tremendous sense of liberation. They tend to be happier and live more fulfilled lives. If you think you are in a situation where you will be safe, go ahead an begin the process by telling a close friend - odds are you'll be very glad you did.