How can you tell if someone really likes you or if they are using you?

When someone really likes you

• Do they only call/hang out with you when they want to? Do they expect you to drop everything else when they need you around? Do they insinuate that they won't date you or be your friend if you don't do what they want you to do?

• If they want to be friends and have a relationship at the same time that's a good sign. If they are willing to put aside whatever they're doing for your needs that's a good sign too. If they do not do these things then they're probably using you.

• REmove whatever it is you think you are being used for (money, status, your sports car, sex, your friends, whatever) temporarily, and see if they still want to be around you and act just as they always did. Be "broke" for awhile, lend your cousin your Porsche for 2 weeks, stay in and don't go out to trendy places, stop sex briefly for some reason, etc. etc.) If they drift away or lose interest when your Porsche isn't there, you have your answer (for example).

• Be careful if you find yourself hooked up with someone who "needs" YOU a lot more than you "need THEM". Watch out for the ones who claim you are too good for them or that they don't deserve you. If they keep saying how grateful they are to have you, run. I think it's so insulting to be told any of those things. As if I'm there as a damn charity worker and I only choose boyfriends I find pitiful in need of saving. Ew. The moment YOU have a larger set of needs than THEY do (like pregnancy, sickness, job loss blah blah), they bail anyway.

• If you have to ask yourself if someone is using you they probably are.

• Try to meet some of your partner's past girlfriends/boyfriends. If every single one of them says they felt used, you might take that as a hint. Or find out if he talks about you (and how he talks about you) with friends when you are not around.

• If everything that you do together is one sided you maybe getting played or used. If he/she only wants you to do aeverything they want, it only shows that they are looking to please themselves and have no intension of you being apart of it. -ctr

• Only time will tell. If a man is using you, he'll get bored after a while and move onto someone else. Also,turn the question around: are you using them? And what does "using" mean anyway? Even when we care for someone we are using them in a way, to fulfil our own needs and pleasures.

• They are using you when everyone around you is telling you that they are. When you hear things that they say about you, and they usually deny it, they are probably lying. If they can't look you in the eye and tell you they're not using you, then you are getting played.

• Do they only talk about themselves or do they ask questions about YOU? Do they make time for you, or are they "BUSY" when you need them? Make a list of what you've done for them and vice versa. Is it even or CLOSE to being even or are you the giver and he/she is the taker? I agree with the post that says, "If you need to ask if you're being used, then you probably are."

• When they say "I appreciate what you do for me," but they can't think of anything nice to do for you. It's no fun finding out that the person you thought loved you was just using you. Get away from them as quick as you can. It may hurt for awhile, but in the long run, you'll feel better about yourself. And you will find someone who gives as much as recieves.

• If you have to wonder about the give and take in a relationship then there probably is a problem. Do you feel that the balance between the two of you is off? Do you always call them just because and their calls are for their needs?In my past I had many relationships where I was the friend and the other person was just along for what I could do or give. I found myself not wanting to talk to them or that my time with them left me drained. My conversational topics were not of interest to the other person and the conversation would always go back to what they wanted to discuss. They were not able to "help" me with life's little favors when I needed help. I found myself emotionally drained after phone or one on one time with them.

• Be aware of your physical feelings as well as your emotional ones. If you feel drained or you resent their neediness, then you are probably in a relationship where you are the friend to them and not the other way around. A true friend make sure you know that they care and are there for you. They call when they tell you they will and so on. Gut instinct has a lot to do with that. Make sure that the relatiohsip is not a co-dependent one. Ask yourself what you are in it for? What are you getting out of it as opposed to what you're putting in?

• You know when you're being used. You feel horrible all the time. You feel angry and upset. Why? Because he's taking advatage of you, and that's what using is.

Pay Attention to the Give & Take

A comedian once said "If a man says "Oh, I have so much to offer you!", run away as fast as you can; he'll suck you dry!" When it seems that they always promise and never deliver, pay attention. Keep a log on the sly, promises and deliveries, both ways; I said I'd give him gas money, he promised to pay me back on his payday. I gave him $40 for gas. ______ On payday, did they catch up with that $40, or was there an excuse? No matter how rational or sensible the reason was, if you did not get your $40, your partner failed to deliver on a promise. Is it a fluke or a pattern? There are different kinds of people: 1. Givers, those who are happy when they are able to 'give' to a relationship, 2. Recievers, those who accept help because they need it and are appreciative of the givers, 3. Takers, who can pretend to be givers or takers, depending on what will result with the greatest profit for them. Givers & recievers naturally pair up, filling each others needs harmoniously; takers are adept at pretending to be that which you need to fill your void, so that they can fill their needs. The problem is that if you are partnered with a taker, you end up empty, as they have nothing of substance to give to you in return. I don't mean financial substance, per se. One can be homeless on the street and still be your dearest, most trusted and dependable friend. Also, keep in mind that takers use people that they like also; they can like you as a person AND use you at the same time. "Nothing personal," is their view. Keep a log, expect and insist that they keep commitments and promises, and if you get less and less and give more and more, stop. You DO deserve better, and they DO NOT deserve you.

Answer

It is not a good sign that you feel uncomfortable enough to ask. A person's actions should match their words even in the smallest of things. If they say 9:00, they mean 9:00, not 9:15 or 9:30 'with a good excuse'! Being on time may not mean much to some one else, but if it is important to you, your partner should make an effort to accomodate that need. Make sure that your definitions of honesty and integrity are the same as your partner's.

Answer

There is a fine line between being used and giving to your friends and loved ones. So long as you don't do anything illegal, you are offering some form of assistance to someone who should appreciate your help. I can only offer you this advice but if you truly care about the person you would do it anyway.

Answer

They ask you to do things for them but they never do anything for you in return.

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