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The domination and control by either partner in a relationship, whether abusive or not, is contrary to the personal rights of an individual. Where this relationship meets the needs of one or both, it is often enabled or tolerated. But it can lead to psychological trauma and violent situations. (see the opinions below)

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OPINION : SUBMISSION VOLUNTARY OR INVOLUNTARY?

Some folks say it's "not a bad thing" to be submissive. YES, there are MANY women who do like submissive roles, either consciously or subconsciously, but that doesn't mean they are happy.

In abusive relationships, the abused often has been under abusive conditions for so long that his or her mind has twisted the story until he or she believes that he or she is At Fault for the abuse, and that the abuser has the right to abuse him or her. This is not good because the abused person is being hurt not only by the abuser, but also by his or own mind. This twisting of reality does not mean anything about the abused person's intelligence; rather, it is the mind's search for a reason for the pain (inner or outer) he or she feels.

The situation can be very dangerous for the abused person because it may lead to damage directly imposed by the abuser, or indirectly by causing suicide or other self-inflicted damage.

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OPINION - ARE MEN ALWAYS THE ABUSERS

BOTH of these characters are stereotypes, and stereotyping people is also wrong. Because pretty much only the stereotype man is abusive. And pretty much only the stereotype woman is submissive. And pretty much only the stereotype woman will suffer and take all the abuse. In real life, there are also dominant/abusive/controlling women.

Although the solution is often stated as, "If you are in an abusive relationship, get away. It is the only solution."

However, this is sometimes an oversimplification, because the interpersonal relationship between any two people is complex, and cannot be classified as simply right or wrong, abuser and abused. It may require a dispassionate, trained counselor to recommend a course of action that will be beneficial for either partner in a marriage or relationship.

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Q: How do abusive men treat submissive wives?
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