How do you cope with your husband when his Mother is the other woman and she assumes the role of surrogate wife and he calls her sixty times a month?

Answer 1

I can understand why you are angry and hopefully you mean simply, "he runs home to mama when the going gets tough" and that they aren't having sexual contact. Many women go through this. If you have considered trying to get to know your mother-in-law and made an effort to have her over on occasion and she is still like this then your husband has never grown up and has been smothered by his mother so much he can't think with the brain God gave him. You knew he was like this before you married him; all the signs were there. It's time you took back control. If his mother is meddling in your marriage constantly it's time to sit down with your immature husband and set the records straight. If he doesn't like what you have to say, then pack his bags and send him back home to mama! I am dead serious on this one. If you really love him, then you are going to have a struggle even after you set down some hard and fast rules regarding his mother. It doesn't sound like you have his mother over very often and you may have good reason, but my theory is always "get close to your enemy and get to know them." You might be mildy surprised to learn that you haven't let her adjust to not having her son around that often. Especially if his mother is a widow. It's frightening to be alone and afraid and she relies on her son. You may not like it, but for centuries the oldest son in most families became the head of the household and she may feel this is how things should be. Try having her around for the occasional dinner or evening and try to get to know her. If she is abusive, smothering your son and not being nice to you and your husband is too spineless to say anything to his mother, then you speak up and don't allow her back into your home. Whether we like it or not we marry into 2 families in most cases. It's an adjustment for the daughter's and son's family and although some parents can take it in their stride there is always that "empty nest sydrome." Good luck Marcy