How do you deal with a narcissist?

Dealing with a Narcissist

Here is some advice:

• Being married to one, I find that the only way to deal with him is to make everything about him. If I want something for example, instead of saying "Honey I would really like this. May I get it?" I would approach him like this, "I think getting this would benefit you in ...." I would then pitch it to him as to what he would get out of it. I have gotten him to the point of my being able to buy any clothing or makeup I want because of how my appearance will reflect on him. This is only one example, but you just learn how to make your desires seem like they will benefit him. This is a hard way to live, but it is better than never getting what you want. If you choose to stay with him, this is the only way to get your needs, and especially your desires, met.

• The best way to deal with a narcissist is to recognize your own narcissistic tendencies. When your own feeling of self-worth is dependant on what others think or feel about you, you are vulnerable to the narcissist's trap. He will make you feel so special for deserving his attention. Recognize your true value as an individual. Realize that no one can give you what you already have, your self! Get lots of support from friends and/or a good counsellor. Be strong and don't take any abuse. If the narcissist in your life is mean to you, be honest with yourself about that. Stop making excuses for him. It's better to be alone than to be trapped in someone else's delusions of grandeur. Yes, he will find some other weak person to feed his insatiable appetite for recognition, admiration and approval. Yes, it is painful to realize that that is all you ever were to him. But at least you can free yourself and your energies can go to self-healing and REAL relationships. Real relationships involve a balance of give and take. Real relationships are open to community. In real adult relationships, people are able to speak openly about all their feelings and give each other comfort. If the narcissist in your life is unable or unwilling to recognize that he has a real problem and needs help, get out!

• My husband admits he's "a little narcissistic." He can be very controlling at times, and very concerned with appearances(especially physical). I've found two ways that usually work with dealing with his temper tantrums. I listen quietly while he gets on his soapbox, then later when he has cooled down, I will talk with him calmly about what I agree/disagree with. The second way is standing firm, particularly when it's something I feel very strongly about. He may get upset, but he always thinks about it.

• Get as far away from them as you can. Hardcore narcissists are impossible to deal with.

• I say try to go far, far away from a narcissist. They bring bring nothing but bad news and bad karma into whatever lives they touch. Be strong, stand tall, and run as fast as you can.

• Try to have a safe haven, a place to avoid the abuse, and maintain control of your own person and your own life. Don't let the person drive you down with their unrealistic fantasies and how you need to adjust to make them happy. Make yourself happy and be happy with you, you don't owe someone a life or to make someone else happy. If there are no children involved, then get out of Dodge while you still can.

• There is no dealing with a narcissist. I worked with one for two years and finally had to leave the department I worked in.

• You cannot deal with them because they do not compromise. The best idea is to run the other direction.

• If you're near them, you're the mirror if you give them the slightest attention to reflect back an image they have just created of themselves. Don't reflect back the image they have created. You can do this by ignoring them and not giving them attention.