How do you deal with a narcissistic parent?

Narcisstic Parent

This answer is based on the description that Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) being a pattern of self-centered or egotistical behavior that shows up in thinking and behavior in a lot of different situations and activities. The damage that narcissistic people can cause is both to others and themselves. They are capable of neglecting,hurting,exploiting and abusing others who live with them, or work with them or in a relation with them. The extent of damage will vary according to how signficant the person is (emotional dependence), financially influential on the person (tangible manipulation) and authority/legal (boss, father/mother, landlord..etc). The age of the daugher/son will also contribute to the extent of damage

By analogy to ABCs of life support and CPR, the following are the ABCs for the wellbeing of the psyche:

Autonomy: Disentagle: become financially independent, develop cirles of warm friendship: make the mental effort of not feeling sorry for the parent, and getting entangled in a guilt trip

Breathe: find or create the space: time slots where you are not available except to yourself, an area in the house to which you resort to read, or just sit there.

Conservative interaction:Stay safe: protect yourself: make the mental effort of saying NO BEFORE the boundaries have been crossed, BEFORE you find yourself giving too much and receiving nothing or little. If you are not sure if the boundaries are being crossed, it is likely they are.

If you feel the damage that you have sustained requires assistance, get self help, write your insights, read Paulo Coelho and be good to yourself in every possible way. If you are a woman, read Women who run with the wolves: it is cathartic.

If you wish to help them, you first must be very resilient. That is a skill one needs to practice in addition to being always focused on one's wellbeing. There are many resources for resilience training. In short it is about acquiring the ability to bounce back after being hurt. It requires flexibility, letting go of grudges, practising realistic self worth activities (eg. excelling in activity, catching up on an educational activity that was left behind, drawing...etc)