You didn't mention the age of your teen. Some teens seem to float through life with nary a ripple, while others are like little demons from hell no matter what good parenting skills there were. I have no idea what your life has been like, but the environment he/she lives in could have something to do with it such as an alcoholic father, abusive father, or, they may have been spoiled rotten or divorce between the parents. Rules are made for all of us and it's up to all of us to teach kids that they follow them or life can be pretty miserable. I suggest you contact teen organizations (we have them in Canada) to take control of your teen. I believe in Boot Camps. It's hard on the parents, but a must for the kids. The counselors there break their hostility down and most of them (even the males) break into tears of frustration, but finally give in and realize how foolish they have been for making not just their own life so miserable, but that of their parents. I suggest Boot Camp and fast!
HEY MARCY, why do we men get all the glory? It COULD be an alcoholic or abusive MOTHER. Marcy, just bustin' your chops! To answer the question, Marcy is right on.Apparently, what you have been doing is not working (not necessarily your fault). If there is not a "boot camp" in your area, check the phonebook. In the middle, there is usually a separate section for State or local agencies. Look under "Child Protective Services", or "Social Services", or "Family and Youth Services",...whatever they call it in your state or province. Your child could be placed in a funded youth program, on a locked ward if need be. I do interventions with familes, and sometimes the toughest, mean sounding program may indeed save your child. GOOD LUCK....<<<ADR>>>
Well, I'm sure you are at your wits end and have tried lots of ways to get through to her. Here are some suggestions, you may or may not have done. Find out if something is wrong or bothering her, did someone do something to her that is disturbing her. When did this change. Was this something that you think happened overnight or was this coming on for a while. If talking to her parent to child doesnt work, all is not lost, you must still show her that you love her yet maintain authority. Tell her that she needs to let you in to what is going on. Ask her to explain exactly why and what it is that makes her not respect you but be ready for a harsh truth because the way teenagers see things is the world is against them and they are alone. Understanding why she feels the way she does will give you insight of how to deal. If she says you always bug her and make her do things she doesnt want. Tell her that she is part of a family and has to participate in the maintaining of the home. Tell her that the nice things that she has is from the hard work that's done to buy those things. Unfortunately, if it is really bad the punishing and threatening wont work. That's one of the problems with threats if you don't follow through then they don't take you seriously about anything. Give her a few options like. If she would like to have the tension between all involved then she must do what is asked of her and you will give her a little leeway. If she doesnt want to actively participate in trying to better the situation then you will have no choice but to have everyone go to family therapy or have her monitored in a different way. Tough love is hard but it works. If she thinks she is involved in making a decision to help find a solution she may think she matters. Alot of the angst that teenagers feel is because they think they are alone and no one listens and no one cares and people suck. Well, some of that may be true but there are ways to not be alone and to say things people want to hear and do things that people will care about. Im sure there are books that you can get at you local library to give you some support and something for her to see in black and white. Your not alone and good luck. Patience.