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This is a hard one for most couples. There are many options. You can spend every other year with each. Or you can spend the morning with one and the evening with the other. A lot of people also spend Christmas Eve with one and then Christmas Day with the other. It's a compromise either way for someone, but that is what marriage is about. You need to sit down and talk about what you would each prefer and go from there. Some couples even split Thanksgiving and Christmas between them and switch every year. This is a good idea when one or both live far away or far apart from each other. Another idea; Christmas doesn't have to be celebrated on the 25th. One family can celebrate a little late or early.

Oh, oh, this is a tough problem in many families and here is what you can do:

Alternate years! One year either go on Christmas Eve (or Boxing Day) to one of your parents, and the next year alternate. That's the only solution to this difficult problem I have found.

If you all live close, then perhaps you could have one large Xmas dinner (get everyone to bring something for dinner ... someone could bring a salad, another the dessert and so on.) If you have to travel, then I suggest what I said in my opening statement.

Merry ChristmasMarcy

My parents live in town as do my wifes.

Last Christmas we had 20 people over for Christmas at my house.

My wifes sister feels like that was to many people and even though with both families over, this year would only be 13 people, she has convinced my wife to move Christmas with my family (Mom, Dad, Brother, 2 kids) to the 26th.

So we are now arguing about why it is MY family that has to move to the 26th and not hers. I don't see a big deal between 8 people and 13. Am I being selfish? Or should I tell my sis-in-law that's my fam is coming Christmas day and if she doesn't like it, she can stay home.

--Today, My wifes Mom (I work with her) came to me and asked me how I felt about this Christmas,because she is not comfortable with the seporate christmases and she is going to call my wife and tell her it is everyone on the 25th, or they arnt coming. So it looks like it is all just my Sis-in-Law that is the problem--

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Q: How do you decide whether to spend Christmas with the husband's family or the wife's family?
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