Answer:
More details on the problem: The virus blocks anti-virus and anti-malware sites. It disables Google links. It causes really bad internet lag. I can't use an Anti-Virus CD because my CD-ROM drive is broken. So that's why I also cannot just wipe and re-install windows. Another thing it does is will play odd background noises, as if it's picking up a TV station or something. Also noises that sound like typing. It will also cause the computer to freeze, or just go so slow that I have to restart. Usually it takes a few times of turning it on before it will correctly start up as well.
I believe it may be a variation of a virus called "Anti-Spy wear soft".
Try running your computer in safe mode upon start up [Here's a link as to how to do this: http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-vista/Start-your-computer-in-safe-mode] and run your anti-virus from there.