How do you handle your spouse cheating how do you get over it and trust again?

Answer

I do know how you feel because I was married before and separated at the age of 24 and got a divorce as quickly as I could. To me marriage was forever and I realized I had made a big mistake. My husband cheated on me several times and with more than one woman. All the signs were there from the time we went together He was mentally abusive and soon it turned physical. I finally caught the drift that it no one should have to put up with anyone cheating and certainly not abusive behavior and I left! Of course I was broken-hearted and scared. Still, I found a nice apartment, changed my job and made better money, made new friends and after a couple of months I felt like a caged bird set free and I never looked back on my decision with any regrets. If I hadn't have left him it would have only been a matter of time before he left me. I refused to let this man make me a man-hater (same applies to men being a woman-hater) and forged on. I eventually met and married a wonderful man and we have been married for 33 years.

When someone you love cheats on you it breaks a trust between the two of you that should never have been broken in the first place, and you can never get that trust back (if you are the cheater ... not accusing you of this.) Often when the cheater goes his/her merry way, 89% of the time they find they have either made a mistake or they can't stand the fact their ex is seeing someone else and is actually unhappy. The cheater will often start phoning until some end up begging for that second chance. Once a person has cheated it takes years for them to gain your trust and perhaps they never will gain it.

Realize that two people are plain old chemistry and this isn't the right person for you. We all make mistakes and since we don't know ourselves 100% we can't be expected to know someone else 100%. Many people think grieving is only saved for the loved ones that pass on, but not true. We can grieve over pets, our homes flooding or burning, traumas in our lives, wars, or the realization of a lost love. Take a couple of months to go through some of the grieving process, but also take this time to get to know who you are and what you are about and realize just how precious you are to many, and also how strong you really are. Once you get the drift of these good qualities in yourself there isn't anything you can't handle. I always say to myself, "There are only two things I can rely on 100%, God and myself."

Once you have had a chance to get your feet under you, then get out with friends, start having some fun and enjoy the freedom that comes with it. Go on that trip you may have wanted to go on, and if you can't afford that then go places in your City that you have always wanted to go too and just enjoy yourself. Start spoiling yourself for a change. I am a firm believer all of us have to go through some rough times in our lives to know the good that should be in our lives and weed out the bad so we can forge forward and become stronger individuals.

Hang on, it gets a whole lot better! God Bless Marcy

First answer by Marcy. Last edit by Marcy. Contributor trust: 7246 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 23 [recommend question].