How do you know a guy loves you even if he won't show it?

Question

hey I'm new at this but my boyfriend soon to be husband we have 3 children but I don't think he loves me or the family he plays paint ball and thats his life its all he do and talks about and everything. he don't care about how I feel when I say something he makes me feel bad that I'm wrong hes never home and if he is he is on the computer talking to his paint ball friends and drinks with them talk to them 24/7 and only time I'm good enough is when he wants sex or food so I'm asking if someone can help me I think I want to leave him but I don't got the balls to because when I say I'm leaving he makes me feel that I'm wrong and that hes right so PLEASE HELP ME

Answer

you shouldnt let a guy take over who you really are. speak your mindd..hes not gonna stop what hes doing to you and how he makes you feel it could get worst.but maybee first before thinkin on leaving him you sould get to no him better bytrying paint ball talking to him bout it mightt help to and start doingg things he lovess..try to get him to spend some time with the familly and tell him how you feelll..

Answer

Learn to speak the language of Men. Often times they a re saying I love you loud and clear but we as women just do not see the signs because our language of love is different than that of Men. My boyfriend of over 3 years recently bought me a flashlight for my car that you charge by changing a handle so I will never be in the dark if I were to break down. Translation: I love you and I want to keep you safe. Every day Men DO things when they care about you that as a female you may not see as them saying "I love You" but the meaning behind their actions say it loud and clear.

OK.....what if he is showing all the signs that he loves you?? You know he takes you out, misses you when your not around, tells you personal things, hugs you to sleep, what then?? Does he love you? He hasn't said the L word but does it mean he wants to? or that he doesn't love you at all?

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I am a woman, and I have been married for 4 years to a man I have been with for 11 years. I can tell you if you expect a man to show you he loves you every day you are asking way too much, a man can love you with his whole being and not show it. Some men aren't really good at expressing the love that they have for you, and some men just aren't as romantic as other men. I know my husband loves me by the way he is with me, the way he looks at me and even though I don't need it he protects me; to the person who asked this question; start paying attention to this guy and you may see things that you didn't notice before because you were too busy wondering if he loved you. Sometimes you may have to step back and look a little harder at the situation to find the result. These other people seem to be bitter and resentful. I don't believe most of their advice is given out of wanting to help, but more out of a need to rant about a previous relationship that didn't turn out how they expected it to. For the most part if a guy didn't love you somewhat he wouldn't be with you. Also, you might just have to sit him down and flat out ask him and if his answer isn't what you were looking for you may have to decide if this is the relationship for you.

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If he is not showing that he loves you, that is very good evidence that he does NOT love you.

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Try facing reality. Let's see, he doesn't tell you or show you that he loves you. WOW! Guess that means he is NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU.

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You can't. You're not a mind reader and shouldn't be expected to. You can only know if someone loves you if they tell you AND show it to you. (The way they treat do - do they treat you with respect?) Otherwise, you're inventing something that may not be there.

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If you spend more time with him, and he still doesn't show it chances are he doesn't love you. But if you spend time with him, and tell him you really like a certain non-expensive thing like a book, ice cream or movie and he gets it for you after a week or so he might love you. It's easier to tell if you spend a lot of time with the person.

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Sometimes, we love people who do not love us back. I know that may be hard to take in but it's true. You cannot make guys love you. Maybe he's just shy and he does not make it that obvious. Even if he is just shy I think you would know that he loves you and is interested in you. I know from my own experience that its hard to quit loving someone that you really care about. The best thing to do is to try to forget about him no matter how much it hurts.

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OK .. I just learned that if he doesn't seem to be interested in you or even if he treats you like a friend it is because he just loves you LIKE A FRIEND. Believe me, I know its hard to confront this, but everything will be better if you understand that. I mean, I had a big crush in this guy. He was my friend, and then I told him what I was feeling, and he told me "I love you, really I do, but not the same way you do. You are my friend." (SO SAD) He's still my friend.

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If he doesn't show you he loves you, it means he does not love you. To know if he loves you is treating you with respect, interest what you have to say, and obviously he tells you he loves you.

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It is all about showing because if hes telling you and not showing action nine times out of ten hes lying.

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I feel like if he show that he doesn't love you its because he doesn't want to show any emotion. When it comes down to boys, they will show no emotion. I bet if you don't show that he doesn't care about you, he will start caring about you because he sees that you are done with him. All a boy wants is a girl to pay attention to them because when someone doesn't pay attention to someone that wants attention they will do whatever it takes to get that attention back.

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If he loves you, he would show it. Don't make excuses for him, like "maybe he's just shy, hurt, screwed-up, or otherwise incapable of showing love." If he's incapable of showing it, he's probably also incapable of truly feeling it.

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Reality check and great advice everyone.

Best Wishes..

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If he loves you, he would show it. If he tells you he loves you, how do you know he really does. You should be able to see true meaning when he says it. He may give you a kiss and tell you how much he loves you. Also, if you ask him why he loves you, and he answers, "I don't know, I just do," that is one of the worst ways for you to believe him. If you do, you obviously are a very gullible person. To show he loves you he should kiss you before or after he does... or tell you " I love you so much." Or maybe he gives you a gift for no reason or just to say he loves you. That is true love. Love is like a flower because it comes in many different types. If he doesn't say it, it doesn't mean he's shy, any man is capable of saying I love you. If he doesn't say I love you, then he doesn't mean it!

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I'm a guy,so I should know. You're absolutely mad!!!!! It is highly likely that if he's not showing it, then he's just shy. I guess it is just really hard to tell. It took me ages and ages to pluck up courage and try and show this girl I like how I feel about her!!! Seeing if a guy shows it is not a reliable source!!!

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I can tell by the way he looks at me look into his eyes. See if his eyes and facial expression are soft. Then you can definitely tell that he loves you. Hope I helped.

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Okay, maybe I'm not the best one to consult, but I read this and I just wanted to say a few things. I'm only 19, and I have a 2 year old. I was with my ex for two years, but we broke up because he wanted someone else. As it is, I have met someone else also who is wonderful. The only way I can tell you if someone loves you is this: when you are with him does he pay more attention to you or other things? Does he hold your hand, kiss your forehead, hold you, and say that he wants to be with you? When you are together does he say things like that make you feel like your the most important thing? Does he stare deep into your eyes and hold contact with yours? When you say you love him (if you do) does he say it back, or smile and kiss you and says things that makes you feel like you made his day. Honestly, some guys just don't like to say the words because they think that its a jinx or that they are taking a big leap into something that could hurt. Guys are big babies when it comes to pain, and when it comes to rejection their worse. If you give him time and show him how much you care, as long as he treats you right and isn't playing around with other girls and is committed to spending time with you and showing he cares I say that your in the right direction and that is leading to love, if it isn't there already. I hope that I helped a little.

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My boyfriend just doesn't express himself verbally. He is however VERY affectionate. I know that he loves me because he shows me every day. He calls to see how my day was, and really listens when I talk to him. He cooks for me not only because he enjoys cooking, but because he enjoys doing it for me. He always wants to hold my hand or snuggle up on the couch together. Mostly, it is the way that he looks at me. I will say something affectionate and he will pull me in, give me one of those long soft looks, hold me close, and kiss me. Although it would be nice for him to actually say those three not so little words, I still know without him telling me. I can understand where people could say that this is not "good enough," and that I may be reading more into the situation than is really there, but if you are not the one initiating all of the little romantic and thoughtful things that happen in your relationship and your significant other does things for you, "just because," then it is either love or for those just starting a relationship, the beginning stages of it.

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Just because someone doesn't show their love, it doesn't mean they don't love you. People find it hard to express their love. Just because someone doesn't say "I love you" at every instance doesn't mean that they don't love you. Your grown up not teenagers and this may not be the first loves of you life. Slowly expressing love ends. Because people try to think that their love is known. If you have been together for long you obviously know you love each other. And doubting this can hurt the other person. But still watch out for what people do. Their actions can help you understand if their feelings have changed. But just remember that things are not always as they seem. From experience I can tell you that love which is hidden can be much deeper than love that is plain obvious. Hidden love can is unconditional and deep or it could just be no love at all.

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If he doesn't care about how you feel, makes you feel bad whenever you say something to him, is always out to go drinking with his friends, never goes home except when he goes on the computer to talk to his friends 24/7, asks you to feed his stomach, and wants you to get in bed with him, then I'd say he obviously doesn't love you. If he did, he would be totally the opposite of how he is right now. He would care about how you feel, makes you feel happy whenever you say something to him, is always home with you to take of you and your 3 children more than having to drink with his friends and talking to them on the computer 24/7, feeds you and your 3 children, and would not want to get in bed with you whenever he is horny. He is obviously playing with you and your feelings. He doesn't care about you and your 3 children either. All he cares about is having his friends around more than being with you and your 3 children. He just wants to use you for his own benefits and his greedy needs. If I were you, I would get out of the relationship as soon as possible, cancel out the marriage with him, and get a lawyer in sue him for being irresponsible in taking care of you and your 3 children because he is not showing any respect to you whatsoever.

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If you're engaged, I would say he does. He either just doesn't know what you want or how to express the way he feels. So tell him how you feel. Don't drop hints because he won't understand. Be blunt. Tell him you want to go out with him somewhere.

If you love him, you shouldn't be thinking about leaving. Do you think about leaving because you hope he will change or because you don't really love him?

MY name is Tama and I just got on this page... your the first question.. I seen. I think that you need to not worry so much about him anymore and go have some girl time..you showed him how much you love him by giving him children... if he doesn't see how much you do for him then when your out to enjoy your life and someone gives you the attention he is not trying to give to you, because of all of his games and friends.. he has going on in his life. But also he may not be in tune with what you are feeling in the leval of the i love you state.. When you have your alone time with him open up and talk and pour your feelings out to him.. I promise you,, it takes you.. to open up your feelings to get him to open up his.. Someone has to take the first steps in saying I love you so let it be yOU then he will follow with the words you are wanting to hear.... okay. goodluck to you..

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Hi Im scarlett

Well it may sound corny and I only say this because I know its true...

Most men are shy when it comes to their feelings and they wont risk putting their heart on the line if they are not completely sure of your love /intentions, [[this may never happen btw]].

How to know if he really loves you is ,the owrds to a song come to mind and it was the way I eventually figured it out with my guy..he is a closed book terrified of committing his heart for fear of rejection . We have been together nine yrs now so this theory is right or we would have parted long ago.

"If you want to know if he loves you so..its in his kiss"....Sung by Cher.[[from the movie Mermaids..its called the "Shoop Shoop" song.]]

The only way you will ever really know..kisses dont lie.

First answer by Russ M.. Last edit by Scarlett23. Contributor trust: 6 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 230 [recommend question]

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