How do you know if someone's parents are overcontrolling?

Answer 1

AnswerLook I'm a parent of 3. It's not necessarily over controlling, it's our jobs as parents to keep our kids safe. You just don't know how we would feel if anything happened to you and we had to live with that. Think about that before you go and do crazy things. Answerhttp://www.startingadaycarecenter.com/Child-Discipline.html

Child Discipline

Learning how to effectively discipline your child is an important skill for all parents. Children have to be taught discipline. They are not born with it. You must be consistent and must train your child to obey through diligent and careful discipline and precise instruction. The rules cannot be changed from day to day. They have to be the same each and every day. Discipline is not the same as punishment. Instead, discipline has to do more with teaching.

Following are the goals of discipline:

Teaching your child right from wrong How to respect the rights of others Which behaviors are acceptable and which are not; setting limits and correcting misbehavior With a goal of helping to develop a child who feels secure and loved, is self-confident, self-disciplined and knows how to control his impulses To raise a child who does not get overly frustrated with the normal stresses of everyday life.

Firmly enforce boundaries indicating what behavior is acceptable and what is not.

Children are keen observers. When they see you doing things a certain way, they are going to imitate you.

Further pointsThere are many different ways of being unduly controlling ("overcontrolling"). For example, trying to keep the child under surveillance when there is no reason for it; not allowing the child 'space' and privacy; inventing irrational rules purely in order to test the child's willingnessto obey. Some parents fuss, interfere and rarely trust their kids ... and so forth. Among the most common indicators of undue conrol is poor performance in school.

Joncey

AnswerWhile all the above posts are great posts, I'm thinking this is a young person asking the question so I'm going in that direction.

As the above posters have told you it is your parents duty to keep you safe. What you think is safe (such as certain unsavory friends, experimenting with drugs and alcohol)m staying out late, dating too young is not safe! You're parents have a right and an obligation to nail your butt on this one. If your grades at school drop it is up to your parents to law down the law and have you study more and it's not out of spite on their part, but they know they can't look after you forever and want you to do well out in the business world. They are the teachers and you are the student! Get use to it! One day you will get married with children of your own and it will become clear to you then.

Answer:

No one seems to have really answered the question from the perspective of dealing with parents who are trying to control their older children as if they were still younger. It is indeed possible to be overly controlling beyond what is required for protecting the safety of the child, and for the wrong reason. I know a mom whose husband is neglectful and so she has place her whole identity and life into her only child, a daughter, whom she tries to live through vicariously. She micromanaged every detail of this girl's life and never allowed her to make any of her own decisions, even the smallest ones. When the daughter went to college, she called her every night to be sure she had turned on her heater to a certain temperature and other details like that. She robbed her daughter, as a young adult, of gaining the confidence to go out into the world and do simple tasks like choose what clothing to buy at the store, because mom was no longer there to dictate it to her. Eventually this insane mom did not approve of her daughter's choice of a husband, even though everyone else thought he was a good man, and threw a lot of very abusive temper tantrums over it, until the daughter was eventually forced to cut off all contact with her mom.