Answer:
there are some great checklists online that deal with how to spot a narcissist. Are you supported by someone or are you dealing with this alone? I would get in touch with a good clinical psych and go from there.Either way I would get out of there as fast as you can neither of them will bring you anything but pain. Please don't think you can help or change them. Get away before children come along if you can as it is a hundred times more painful and difficult. I speak from experience on that one.
all the best.