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Physical fighting is abusive. Sometimes both parties are abusers and they abuse each other. But it is still abuse.

Read more about the various forms of abuse here:

If either person is hitting the other, it's abuse. For both people. It doesn't matter who hits first, hitting is abuse no matter what the situation is. This is not a healthy relationship and you need to break it off. If you are serious about working it out, you both need to get into counseling; separate and together right away. It is not OK to hit your partner. It is very dangerous and can cause a lot of problems. You are both abusing each other. If you have kids, you are abusing them by them being around you when you do that to each other. If you plan to have kids together, you need to get counseling and stop hitting each other before you think about it anymore.

What about 'fighting' that isn't physical? Where do you draw the line?

If it's abuse then your partner will belittle you, or play mind games, and just generally be irrational, or pick a fight when you say something that really isn't that offensive. They will also not work with you on fixing the problem, or solving the argument. Whereas just "fighting" or "arguing" with someone who is not abusive will not be as intense, and will eventually end in some sort of compromise. Abusive fighting usually ends in hanging up the phone, or ignoring the problem/fight altogether.

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Q: How do you know when what you are experiencing is abuse and not just 'fighting'?
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