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How do you let go of someone you love and who loves you when you haven't been able to stay faithful but still want to be with them?
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Answers from Answers.com contributors:
- Break up with them. Just say you don't feel the same way about them anymore. If you can't stay faithful, it's not fair got keep stringing them along and hurting them in the process. Would your want this person to stay with you, but keep cheating on you?
- sometimes the only reason you want to still stay with your partner even though you have been unfaithful is for security. also all the implications of a break up, do you know his/her family, does s/he know yours..living together who gets what? Its hard to let go and tha pain will stay for a while but as with everything this will fade and just be another part of your life history. Most important do what is going to make you happy. You have to live your life for you. And whilst you think that a break up will be hurtful for your partner even more hurtful will be if s/he finds out that you've cheated.
- I did it this way. i told my boyfriend that i didn't love him anymore, but he didn't believe me. and he doesn't believe me now and hopes that I'll come back because he made me an offer of mariage. but now I'm trying to build new relationship with another guy with whom i cheated on my boyfriend. though it still hurts and I'm constantly thinking that I've made a wrong choice. but what's the point of staying together if there is a possibility that one of you will cheat? anyway, it's better to say that you don't love anymore than to tell the truth because this truth will hurt more and shatter faith... besides, you have to be firm and not to show that you feel sorry because in this case parting will be long and more torturous to both. of course, parting is always torturing, but staying in such relationship will bring more pain in the end.
- i say you just tell her the truth 100% and beg for forgivness in not just words but actions as well. you have to man up in this situation and hope that theyll stick by you. i know id do it for my girl if she was honest.
- First you should be honest with him or her.Cheating is never the right thing to do.My girlfriend whom I loved and wanted to spend my life with cheated on me.I told this woman at the begining of our relationship that my exwife cheated on me.So I had some trust issues.She said that she would always be faithful and honest with me.I never thought I would be taken in again.But I allowed myself to give my whole heart to this person and showered her with love notes and weekly flowers.Did any and everything just for her.And she allowed me to do all that for her while she cheated on me.Instead of being honest and just breakingup with me.Or telling me and seeing if we could work it out.She liked everything I did for her and didn't want to lose that.Well we brokeup 2 weeks ago and I'm hurting really bad but I'm a very loving and giving person and that will never change.I'm going to be less willing trust someone now because of her.Talk to him and maybe he'll understand and still want to be with you.It will take a long time to rebuild that trust but if you care for them you will do anything to get them back.I'm sure you hurt them really bad and sometimes there's just no going back.So how do you let someone go if you want them back,I don't know.But you reap what you sow.And to the person who said it's better not to tell,you probably have never been cheated on.Who's it better for?You, It just lets the cheater feel not so guilty.And they can't admit their mistakes.Marty
- I cheated on my boyfriend 3 yrs ago and did'NT tell him. I just told him that the other guy and I were very good friends and that we only talked a lot. But I realized in time that I could'NT love anyone more than my boyfriend and so I stopped. But I didnt tell my boyfriend about the physical part of the cheating. But he knows me so well that he could sense that I was lying about that chapter of my life. So, for the past three years, he kept asking for the truth and I always told him that there was nothing. I used to lie uncontrollably. I thought that if I told him the truth, I'd lose him forever. So, we stayed together but we started having a lot of fights about the same issue and he felt like he was losing trust in me. We have been in a long-distance relationship for the 6 years (out of the 7) that we've been together. The past 2 years have been full of arguments about me cheating and lying. Then one day, he told me he wanted out...I begged, cried, pleaded, did anything, said anything because I really couldn't let him go. He said it was because we were fighting too much..then, I heard that he found someone else. I was so angry and hurt that I tried to get over him. Of course, I didn't succeed. I just kept the anger bottled up inside. I would still beg occasionally. But he did'NT budge although he still called and talked to me like nothing ever happened. When I went back home after 1 and a half year, I called him to tell him I was back in town. He said he wanted to see me again for old times sake and so I agreed. When we met, he asked me again about what happened between me and the other man. He said I could be honest now that we werent together. I still couldn't tell him. But he kept asking for the truth, he kept telling me that the truth would set me free. So, I told him everything - that we had a physical relationship....and he freaked out completely. He started telling me that he wanted us to get back together and now, we did'NT have a chance in hell. It was the most painful experience, watching him say that he would never forgive me. He kept talking about how much better his current girlfriend is...how loyal she is Its been more than a month now and I'm still begging for his forgiveness, trying to explain why I lied. But he says he can never take me back because when he thinks of me, it only makes him feel betrayed. He says that I should just go on with my life and set him free. He says I should'NT have told him the truth. I'm absolutely in love with him. I believe that he's the only one. Its so hard to accept this. But I know, I can't force him to forgive me or take me back. I want him to stop hurting and be happy again. I don't really care if I'm alone...I'll never love anyone like I loved him. Life will never be the same. I keep praying for strength, for him to come back, for him to marry me...its so hard to accept that he will never come back. So my advice is : tell the truth always because it will come back to haunt you.
- First of all, if you love someone, you wouldn't cheat on him/her... but I've learned from experience that when someone you love crazily cheats on you, you tend to become one yourself... maybe for revenge, or to lash back - whatever! If you haven't been faithful the best thing to do is be honest as soon as you've cheated, and leave the choice to your bf/gf. Personally I wouldn't take back a man who's cheated on me, no matter how much i love him, or how much he claims to love me. But, recently I cheated on my present bf by going back to my ex. I promised him nothing would happen, but my ex coaxed me into sex. The man I am with now knows me so well, he sensed things the very same day, and i told the truth. He was hurt, furious, in tears, because there's no one in this world who can love me like he does. All along i thought that position was taken by my ex - who apparently cheated on me. But I got to realise what I had done, and he has promised me that he will forget and forgive me in time, but can never lose me ... and if such a thing were to happen again, he said he'd leave me. But i won't let it happen. i have changed and let go of my ex. i love my boyfriend and we're getting married. honesty is the best ingredient of a relationship and i have that with only this man. he's my best friend, my soul mate, my everything. i will be punished some day for hurting him the way i did, i am sure of it.
- You do not deserve her. Let her go.
- If you are a changed person: get it right with him or her...beg,plead,presents,apology,sincerity,honesty,the whole nine yards..Go all the way. Prove them that you've changed. It takes time to earn someone's trust so you might just want to start off as friends until you earn their trust completely...If you cant make up your mind and think you'll go back to your old ways:then leave yourself out of this person's life for good. If you really love them you wouldn't want to hurt them. You'll respect their feelings so be honest tell him/her that you don't think you can stay faithful and you don't want to hurt this persons feelings ever again so say you should not see each other anymore even though you love them--I know this will be hard but you got to do what you got to do and hope for the best.
- recently i have been i na relation ship with a man and i cheated on him when i had had a drink but i didnt think i loved him any more and i don't know if i still do i feel so guilty i had 2 end it with him even though i will allways love him forever i just couldent do that to him
- M'kay, If you're unfaithful to you're boyfriend/girlfriend, I personally think that you should think about how the person you cheated on feels. If I cheated on my boyfriend, then I think that I wouldn't deserve to be with him anymore. But then again, I've never cheated before.
- i'd say its very hard. . very very hard. coz whenevr u thnk abt it all u knw is dat u can't. just can't. nice n simple n easy. its NT possible 4 u coz u'v been so into it 4 so long. . evn if u cheatd, lied abt it, messed up n lied abt it more n gone n done it agn. . i guess it takes a strong partner to take all of it. .wt u feel is guilt 4 doing dis to the 1 person whose stood by u 4 like 4evr but da problem is dey r too nice. i went thru da same thing. .but my guy had a heart big enuf to 4give me. .but u knw dey don't undrstnd. dey can't. .but wt i feel is dat its js NT ur fault. .ur relation lacks smthn dats y u goin cheatn arnd. requires a lot o thnkn n hell lot of will power to get outta it. get ur priorities rite. . coz at times ur to weak to take da rite decision. n it is depressin. . temme if u succeed.
- The best thing to do is be honest. I am going through that right now. If your partner really loves you they will in time forgive you. Tell them that you are sorry. Answer any questions that they have for you. Make sure within yourself that you really love them and would not do it again. If you can see nobody but them then you should pour your heart and soul into trying to fix things. You will never forgive yourself if you don't give it everything you have to try and regain the trust that you destroyed. There have been many time in my situation that i was just tired and frustrated that a simple sorry was not enough. The truth is that it is but it takes time before your partner even hears you. It took my partner a month and a half before she would even give me a hug. It depends on the person you are dealing with to how they will react. everyone is different. Overall if you want it to work out then be honest as a first step. Talk about it. Give them space if they want it. Be there when they need you. Love them even though they may want to hate you. and most importantly BE PATIENT. if you are not then you will go crazy
- Being honest with each other is always definitely the best and right thing to do. I was in a reletionship for about 2 1/2 yrs but at about 6mths into the relationship my boyfriend at the time was talking to an ex and i found out but before i confronted him i asked him if there was ever anything he needed to talk to me about, that would in someway affect our relationship would he? and he said yes so i said is there anything you need to talk to me about hoping he would be honest with me about talking to her and telling each other they still loved each other but he didnt so i lost total trust in him and in an argument i blurd it out and the relationship just never was right after that he did alot of things to show he loved me and so did i but the trust was lost and it just never worked right anymore. Among alot of other things. So honesty should be a major factor in a relationship. However God should be too because if a person fears the Lord and he/she does his best to be faithful to the Lord than he will most likely be faithful to you
Contributor:
Gup26
Gup26
First answer by ID3277657412.
Last edit by Gup26.
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