If you live somewhere that consuming alcohol is illegal like I do, here's a way you can enjoy a crisp, clean beer without mashing, sparging, and lautering. (I do those too, but it's awfully difficult to get the ingredients.)
The basic ingredients for a 5 gallon (19L) batch are:
- 50 - 12oz (330mL) cans of NA "beer" (wort)
- 1lb (500g) table sugar (optional, but will increase alcohol content)
- 1 tablespoon (9g) yeast
- 5 oz (10 tablespoons / 142g / 149mL) sugar
The equipment you'll need:
- clean sink
- 1 tablespoon (15mL) unscented chlorine bleach
- 2 gal (8L) water
- 18L of empty plastic soda bottles
- 1 - 5 gallon (19L) large, plastic water bottle (carboy) in good condition
- 1 stainless steel cooking pot about 4 qt/L
- 1 airlock and stopper
- (airlock can be fabricated with straw, caulk, and small soda bottle)
- cup or bowl that will hold 16oz (500mL)
- 1 - 5 or 6 gallon (19-23L) new HDPE bucket
Instructions:
- Clean the sink then plug the drain
- Clean the outside of the carboy
- Put the chlorine in the carboy
- Run about 2 gallons (8L) of cool water into the carboy
- Cover the opening and shake for at least 1 minute (you'll get a workout)
- Slowly pour the bleach water solution into the plugged sink
- Turn the carboy upside down in the dish drainer
- Put as many beer cans as you can fit into the sink to soak 5 min
(killing any bad stuff on the outside of the cans) - Sling as much water as you can out of the carboy
(but be aware those droplets might bleach any fabric they hit) - Put it upside down in the drainer again
- Put the stainless pot on the stove top
- Pour the sugar into the pot
- Sling the carboy some more then set it on the floor, right-side-up
- Take the cans out of the sink
- Set them upside-down on a clean towel you don't mind altering it's color a bit
- Fill the sink up with some more cans
- Open the first can you took out and pour it into the stainless pot
- Do it again with 5 more cans so you have about 2 qt/L in the pot
- Turn on the heat
- While you're waiting, start emptying the cans into the carboy
(but don't open the last 12 cans yet) - When the contents of the pot are boiling, turn off the heat
- Pour the boiling wort into the carboy
- When all but 12 cans are emptied, cover the opening of the carboy with plastic wrap, using a rubber band to Lightly secure it
- Let it sit for about an hour for the foam to settle then shake it to get the foam stirred up again.
- Keep doing this for a day or so until the "beer" goes flat
- Now sanitize 1 of the remaining 12 cans again
- Pour it into a cup or bowl
- Sprinkle the yeast on top
- Let sit for 10 minutes
- Stir with a sanitized spoon or fork
- Let sit for 10 min
- Remove plastic cover from carboy
- Pour in 12oz (330mL) NA + yeast mixture
- Agitate without sloshing out
- Put a fresh piece of plastic wrap over the opening and secure it lightly with a rubber band
- Store at 60-70F (16-21C)
- After a day or 2 a thick head of (nasty looking) foam will rise up
- Wait 3 or 4 days until the thick head of foam mostly subsides
- Sanitize 10 of the remaining 11 cans of NA
- Pour them in
- Affix the airlock
- Maintain 60-70F (16-21C) for about 10-20 days
(until the airlock bubbles slow to about 1/min) - Boil the last can of NA with the remaining 5 oz (140g) sugar
- Sanitize the HDPE bucket
- Pour the NA + sugar mixture into the bucket
- Siphon the flat beer off the trub (bottom sludge) into the bucket
- Mix well with a sanitized stainless or plastic spoon
- Siphon into bottles and put caps on tight
- Store the bottles at about 60-70F (16-21C) for 1 week
- Refrigerate at least 4 hours before opening
(a week is better to clear the cloudiness) - Open slowly over the sink just in case you bottled too early
ENJOY!
NA: I have found
Holsten to be the hoppiest,
Bavaria Regular to be the maltiest, and
Budweiser NA to be the worst. All others are different, but yielded the same level of disappointment. Actually, a blend of Holsten and Bavaria is quite nice.
(UPDATE: I just had to throw out 5 gallons because I tried an NA that was new to me called
Hollander. The ingredients listed are "Water, Malt, Hops." It sounded good, but apparently they have included some sort of preservative also that kills yeast - possibly intentionally. I tried 3 times to get a known good yeast going, but every time it died. Eventually, the wort took on the sulphury smell of decaying yeast cells. I almost cried. Anyway... my advice is:
DON'T USE HOLLANDER!)
Sugar: well, a serious brewer wouldn't be caught dead using table sugar in his beer unless... unless he found himself (forgive me ladies, English doesn't yet have a neuter-gender, singular reflexive pronoun, but we're working on it) Uhhh, where was I??? Oh yeah... UNLESS he found himself in a country where alcohol possession/consumption will get him imprisoned/deported faster than an assassination attempt on a political leader. Then suddenly, that white stuff looks pretty d@mn good!
And as for
Yeast: I do bring various yeast packets back with me after visiting free countries, but I have used baking yeast and while it does leave a "bread-ish" taste in young (aka "green") beer, a 3-4 weeks of aging works absolute miracles. If it's all you've got, you won't be disappointed. For thousands of years brewers used the wild yeasts in the air, so baking yeast is a far sight better than that!