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How do you overcome low self-esteem?In: Mental Health |
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Overcoming a low self-esteem is never easy. However, just as anything else in life that is deeply desired, one must do all that can be done to change this disadvantage. Many times you may hear, "people only do to you what you allow them to." That statement is partially true. Because you are in control of yourself, you can keep from feeling negatively about yourself no matter what others say, but if you were exposed to verbal, physical, mental and/or emotional abuse, it may be more difficult to change the perception of oneself. In this case, surrounding yourself around those that constantly uplift you complete being is important. However, do not get this confused with allowing others to define your life. Here are more tactics/methods to overcome a low self esteem:
RID ALL THE NEGATIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!!!
DO NOT show a huge amount of flattery when someone compliments you, although it is a nice gesture, you deserve it, and just your mere presence is enough "thank you". DO NOT "fish" for compliments, it looks desperate obvious.
Treat yourself like the woman/man you want to eventually become: walk better, talk better, give yourself credit of the things you have accomplished!
DO NOT read into someone elses actions: nowadays people do not have ettiquette and their stares or rudeness can be confused for a personal vendetta against you.
DO NOT feel awkward in silence..sometimes silence is a good thing, it means you are observant and that presents a strong sense of self confidence.
If you are in an intimate relationship, do not emotionally blackmail your companion, making them feel badly for telling the truth, or just being themselves...In your heart you know if they care for you, so don't keep pushing what is obvious...else you will lose them
DO NOT remind those around you that you are a good person and what you do for those you love, if they don't know it, tell them to get lost!
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT to present emotions without feeling guilty...However, it must be truth and not a distorted dillusion of grandeur.
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU...so if someone does not appear to notice you, don't think twice...IF SOMEONE DOES NOT LIKE YOU, it is not your fault! Again, they can get lost.
As Miguel Angel Ruiz said, "Dont take anything personally, nothing people do is because of you, what people say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."
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Find something you do well and do it-repeatedly.
Do something nice for others. Volunteer.
Lose yourself in a hobby.
Keep your word. I get an amazing amount of self-esteem from this.
Try to be a better person. Use whatever spiritual beliefs you have to do this.
Be a person people can count on.
Get therapy.
Are you depressed? Get some treatment.
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One of the biggest problems I find with self esteem is that you often are looking outside of yourself for validation that you are ok. What i find myself doing when nothing else works is moving into that maternal kind female place inside of me, the compassionate side of me and using my imagination to visualise myself as the mother with my inner child in my arms and hugging her and telling her that she is wonderful and that I will love and look after her and believe in her. When I come out of the visualisation I feel kinder to myself and less punishing. Like teaching a child to walk you dont slap them when they fall you gently pick them up dust them off and give them positive feedback.....we as adults need to give ourselves that too.
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You know what? You are wonderfully made. God loves YOU! He created you for a purpose. He has good plans for your life. He is longing for you to come to Him through His son, Jesus. He wants you to have friends to love and help you, and for you to love and help. He can transform you and you will never have to worry about low self esteem again! That Purpose Driven Life book is a great idea. Also, try going to church, reading the Bible, seeking God and calling out to Him in prayer. You will never be the same again. I know this to be true, because it happened to me. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16
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Trust your own instincts and judgments from a morally sound point of view.
Having low self-esteem isn't always about you. It is possible that another person is squashing your self-esteem because they have none themselves and can't bear to see you having any.
If you are being bullied by another person, but feel deep inside that you are doing the right thing, then trust yourself. Though it is very hard, and that person will try every tactic to make you doubt yourself (mainly guilt trips and emotional blackmail)... remember that anyone who uses those tactics must not be self-assured themselves.
Do not be suade by people who may be trying to lower your self-esteem to make them feel more powerful.
Walk away. If you find yourself listening to what people say about you, and taking it into account or questioning yourself, it shows that you ARE a compassionate and caring person because you don't want to hurt anyone.
If there is thruth in what people say about you, then that it up to you to decipher. Being honest with yourself is the key.
Honesty for you... and honesty for others.
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Be dependant on you. Don't look to others to validate you, your choices, your value, your moral, your personality, your ideas, your ideas, your path. One of the hardest things for me and something I work on daily is that I thought that I wasn't enough. I was always afraid to fail. I started to change the way I thought and that changed the way I felt, and the way I saw things. I do know that there isn't any person in this world that can make me or break me. People can hurt me, they can make me sad, they can do the things that people do. They just can't break my spirit I know now that when you turn to others for validation, for you to know that you are ok, or pretty, or worthy, or useful, or whatever it gives others too much power over you. Everyone struggles with self esteem because if it was easy everyone would have it right? Well when you start to feel down about who you are.. low self esteem comes from a lot of places. If you work hard you can change that.
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Often being assertive, doing what you want to do, sticking to your own plans, refusing to let others push you around and so on can be helpful - but it's only one aspect. Do something you really want to do, and be pleased with the results ... These are all useful steps in the right direction.
First answer by Heather. Last edit by Abdulrahman M. Contributor trust: 1 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 138 [recommend question]
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