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How do you parent your 20-year-old daughter?

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You need to clarify this. What do you mean by the verb "parent"?

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In general, once one of your daughters have reached that age all you can do is be a friend. Offer support, advice when asked for, be there to laugh at her jokes and enjoy the good times vicariously and be a shoulder to cry on when it's needed. An adult daughter gets to make her own way in life whether you want it or not. She gets to make her own decisions, even the bad ones. She also gets to have credit for her own accomplishments.

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