How do you stop your 17-year-old daughter from sleeping at her boyfriend's house when the other parents approve and you don't?

Answer

I am not really shocked that his parents approve. There are two kinds of parents: Those that try to be "hip" and their kids best friends (so-called "vast understanding" and anything goes attitude) instead of forming the word "no" on occasion and then there are mother's like you that are wise enough to know how a young girl or boy can ruin her/his life in the blink of an eye.

However, you are lucky that as far as you know your daughter has not had sexual relationships to this degree before. Believe it or not some kids start having a sexual experience as early as 10. Yes 10!!! I was shocked myself and it makes me wonder where the heck the parents are.

I am sorry to say, that as hard as you disapprove your daughter is almost of age to make her own mind up as to what she wants to do. You know in your heart the more you say "no" the more she will do it. I suggest that you tell her right out you disapprove, but don't argue or fight with her and try to find out how much she knows about birth control and protection against diseases. You aren't approving of this, but it happens and it's wiser to stop the arguing over it and at least try to get along and she may talk more to you. I am sure you brought her up with high morals so it's time to let her flutter her independent wings and hopefully remember some of the lessons you have taught her. When in doubt, reflect on your own youth. I grew up when sex before marriage was a flat "no" and the fear of God was put into you, but even I know that times have changed and whether we like it or not these kids are going to have sex when they feel the time is right so all we can do is teach them safe sex and wisdom to protect themselves.

I really admire you for taking such an interest in your daughter and you are doing everything right, but you can't control individuals and this includes your almost legal aged daughter. Try to remember that it's better to have her there with you, let her know you don't approve, but make sure she has safe sex, than not having your daughter there at all. Don't let the last words coming out of your mouth (or hers) each day be angry ones because none of us knows when it will be the last time we see a loved one.

Answer

I 100% agree with the above answer many girls are sexually active allot younger so be proud that it is an issue at 17 and not 13. Make sure she is being safe in what she does and let her go because she is almost an adult now and if she is sleeping over at least you know where she is. If she is having sex she will have it somewhere else if you say no and you might not know where she is then.

How about explaining "why" you disapprove!

First of all let me affirm that seventeen is a very difficult age! Nearly adult and independent but not quite there yet. So, what can you do? You must explain to your daughter why you think it's a poor idea. Why you worry about the possible consequences of this relationship. Why, even though the boys parents approve, most of the consequences - and, of course, there might not be any consequences of a sleepover by a minor - will fall into her lap.

I am fully aware that today's sexual freedom makes it more difficult to restrain a minor from engaging in adult behavior. But the best you can do, is to explain that you disapprove and hope for the best. Sometimes too strong an objection makes the young adult counter argue for no better reason than to assert their independence. Explain your reasons, the possible consequences, and hope for the best.

First answer by Neila222. Last edit by Neila222. Contributor trust: 2893 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 54 [recommend question].