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The big thing is to first create a safe environment where he understands the topic of abuse. Things like fighting fairly, saying what you mean during a discussion, not being passive-aggressive about things you have agreed to be doing and so on. Anything that was part of the abuse you know happened, so that he doesn't carry it forward. Then, give him the brief history of why Dad is absent and let him figure it out. Telling him too much of the ins and outs of the situation will bring your opinions in and you want him to be objective. Boys need to see their dads, something about seeing what dad looks like and what they carry forward besides the name. What talents did he have? However, if you educate him first, he will do better upon meeting the guy.

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Q: How do you talk to your teenage son about the past and his abusive now absent father if your not quite sure what he remembers in the first place but you know he is angry and confused about it?
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