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Your parents should be understanding, but the best way to do it is not to blurt out "I'm a lesbian" and get upset if they're shocked. It wouldn't be easy, but you would have to gently ease them into the idea, but calmly entering into the subject and saying that you have become interested in girls. They are bound to be a little set-back at first, but as long as you don't get angry if their reaction is not what you hoped for, it should be fine. Although, it depends how long this has been going on for. For example, if you haven't dated/involved in romantic/sexual actions with another girl before, and you have been feeling attracted to women for a few months or less, it may be a phase. However, if it's been going on for 8 months+ it could be a sign of lesbianism/bisexuality. Good luck.

A:If your parents love you it shouldn't matter if your lesbian or not. if you are, well it's just part of who are. if your parents don't understand that then it doesn't mean they don't love you. But it might help to just practice in a mirror or something. just make sure they hear it from you. it's all ways for the best. i don't know you or your familly but i have a feeling they love you and don't care if your straight or not. make sure you talk to them at the right time and then just leave every thing to them. give them some room after you tell them. and don't try to rush them into their decision. A:This is always a tough one. I really don't think you should have to tell them only because does a hetrosexual have to announce their preference. If you want to do it for your own reasons, then you get the ones that mean the most to you, all together at once and gently say, I don't know if you all know but Im telling you now, I prefer to date girls, the word lesbian from your mouth will envoke a bigger reaction then from theres. Let them know that this is something that you feel and cant change this and that part of a person is only one part. Doesnt change the fact that you are a daughter, sister, granddaughter. Let them know that you will understand if they don't but that wont change who you are. Feelings are going to fly so have some stuff lined up to say. Remember this is no ones FAULT this is a natural part of being made from nature, your sexualness is decided for you when you are born, unless of course you choose this on your own but for the most part same sex partners where born that way. Anyway, hold your head up and continue to be the way you were before, some may come around and others may not, but you cant change that either. A:Just talk to them honestly about your feelings. If they are not shallow or close-minded, they will accept it and not treat you differently. But if you think they would have a problem with you being gay, maybe you should hold off on telling them until you are in a position to move out if it came to that. A:I'm a lesbian and ive had to go thru the stage of telln my rents im a lesbian, b4 i did, i asked them wat they would do if i was, then they askd y i askd that, so i simply said cause i have feelings for another girl. A:I told my Mum in a letter, she said she already knew and she thinks it's great. I'm one of the lucky ones to have an open minded parent but I was still scared as hell as to what she would say. I agree with the person at the top, make sure you have plenty of options before you tell them because there are parents out there that are silly. Be proud! It's an awesome thing. A:A couple people in every bunch is lucky, and their parents or whoever will bring it up for you. Don't count on it. For me, I told my mom, and the first thing out of her mouth was 'how do you know?' Just a couple hints for doing this, if you just figured out you're lesbian, don't go right to your parents and just spill. If your parents had no clue before and are uncomfortable with the situation, you could have a couple questions on your hands you might not have an answer to, leaving your parents room to question if you really are and try to convince you otherwise. You need to wait until being lesbian is just as big a part of you as the mole behind your ear. You know it's there, you know exactly where and what it is, and it doesn't bother you in the slightest. That's when you're at least prepared. When you do go to tell them, be ready to answer questions like 'how do you know?' 'do you have a girlfriend?' and oddest of all 'why?' I don't know about the first two; they're different for everybody. But at least for the last one, a good old 'I was born this way' is always a good touch. Hope it goes well. A:Well, I will say that it is usually easier if you're a girl. It really is. If you family is very religious, it will be considerably more difficult. If you're a dependent and likely to get ousted, I would wait until you are no longer a dependent to come out-but that's just my opinion. You're siblings are most likely to be more accepting than your parents, but don't necessarily count on them to back you up. If you live in a gay-tolerant/friendly household, it should be much much easier. Either way, regardless of gender, its usually much better to tell the mother first, alone, and where nobody will be aroung for at least an hour, usually more. Then you can decide what to do from there. However, some people don't feel that coming out is a huge deal, and if you live in a tolerant family, and most definitly not the first mentioned, you can be very casual, you don't need to make a big deal about it if it isn't a big deal. If you have a gay family member, and aunt, uncle, close cousin, or sibling, talk to them about it. But just so you know, if you tell your siblings first, they won't be able to keep the secret. They really won't. By the way, I am assuming throughout this that you are a teenage girl. And most importantly, remember, if your family really cares, they'll be fine with it. A:If your parents actually care for you and love you and respect your descisions you should have absolutly no problem telling them that your a lesbian. If you don't have parents that tick all the boxes tell your SISTERS first, girls and wimen are more likely to understand what you have to say. I have asked a few people pretending that it was for my frriend who needed advice on what they would say if the daughter/granddaughter was a lesbian. I have asked my brother grandma and step mum, they all said something along the lines of "It would not bother me one bit if u were gay. as long as you are happy and your partner was a nice person. We love u no matter what."

Being lesbian or bisexual isn't at all a thing to worry about in fact being that is unique and special. It means your different imagine were the world would be now if everyone was str8! I wouldn't be writing this 4 1! p.s hope that your family understands!

A:In the generation we live in today, everybody and I do mean everybody is finding himself or herself in a way that probably would shock them. Teens of this generation each and every single day are coming out of the closet and coming to terms with themselves that they are gay/bisexual/lesbian, and to all those thinking of coming out to your parents but are scared shitless. Here is some advice, parents as most of us can agree are complicated creatures, and as much as they annoy us and we don't want them in our lives we want them there to support us on anything that we do. If your parents are always there supporting you then telling them should be no problem. But for those who don't it's all about delivery, or how you tell them. Obviously the way not to do it is to just let it spill. Simply explain, that you like girls and you always have. Don't rush into telling them you have a girlfriend just yet, because parents will ask questions along the lines of "How do you know?" or "How long have you known?" this makes it slightly more tricky but calmly answer those questions if the come up. Once you have answered their questions, you can slowly ease them into the topic of you having a girlfriend, explain to them that this person makes you happy. It really doesn't matter on the gender, seeing as love has no set gender. And if they love you as much as they say they love you, then there really should not be any issue. But you have the type of Mother that is strict about that then use the flipped universe on her. Tell her to imagine a world where everybody was gay and very view were straight, and those straight people got discriminated against because people thought to believe that it was wrong and how awful those people probably feel and scared they feel when they have to tell people. If even still after that, she is still weirded out, just give her sometime to digest it and she'll get over it, but if she doesn't well at least you tried best of luck.
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10y ago
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13y ago

There's no easy way to tell your parents weither its your mom or your dad that you are bisexual, but personally i believe you should just be honest with them about it. It's not good to keep hideing it from your parents. After all they are your parents and will still love you no matter what.

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Lvl 1
3y ago
mine wouldn't 

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10y ago

If you feel safe, and you don't believe you will be thrown out of the house or subjected to dangerous "therapies" then you're ready to tell him. Sit him down. Be proud, shoulders back, or standing straight. Don't talk as though you are ashamed, and respect him. If he respects you as you are talking to him it could turn out better, but be prepared for some anger, frustration, or even sadness.

If he becomes intolerable or threatening towards you then remove yourself from the house and give him time to think and adjust his whole concept on this issue. Most Fathers will come round to being understanding and accepting these days, but equally importantly you need to understand why they feel this way in the first place.

In days gone by when homosexuality was still a mystery to most straight people, and gays alike, it wasn't seen as respectable to be gay or have a gay son or daughter, and parents, especially Dads, would be anti-gay, homophobic, and outspoken about it, out of fear they may be ridiculed by their friends and society in general more than anything, if it was seen that their child was gay. Sons that were effeminate in nature, whether or not the were gay, would be sent of for so called hardening up in the forces or down the coalmines for example. They thought it would man them up. People didn't generally talk about homosexuality, it would be one of those subjects to avoid, like taboo.

Some parents still have this old attitude and guilt today but it is a lot less and getting lesser all the time.

Not that long ago it was a crime to be gay and you could be imprisoned if caught ! It was there and happening but in fear behind closed doors and in secret. Thankfully, those days are gone in most Countries and society has come round to understanding more about this subject. We have learnt that it is not a choice made by the individual and not something the parents have cause for blame either. It is now believed more than ever that people are born this way just as others are born straight and there is nothing that can be done to change this in any case. They do not need to feel any guilt that their child is gay anymore. The pressure has released it's grip and families can enjoy being normal whether or not they are straight, gay or bisexual. Society has begun to ignore a persons sexuality, religion, race or gender and become more tolerant than ever before. They are realizing that it makes no difference what you are, we all have a part to play in this World.

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Very difficult this question: It depends on a number of things. If you have left home it will be easier as you can phone and say you are bringing your partner with you on a visit and drop a hint into the conversation. If you are still at home then it can be more difficult. Your parents normally instinctively know what your sexuality is. Your dad may well be making it clear of his homophobia in the hope you will change and become straight which of course does not happen. We do not choose our sexual orientation - it is nature.

If you are sure you want to tell him it will be an emotional ride for you both. For him he will be tormenting himself with the question; What have I done to make you this way, and thinking that he will not have the joy of grandchildren from you. For you it will be the fear of his reactions to this news. You may want to say; can we meet up somewhere neutral as you have an announcement to make, and again drop a hint as to what its about. You may decide not to say anything as it may upset the good living you are enjoying at home.

It is very difficult. Only you can decide how your father will take it. Just remember though it was a different society when the older folk were young and this was a subject that was not talked about in depth. Today it is no longer illegal or thought about in a bad way so much. Society and the law accept homosexuality as normal nowadays. It is nobodies fault. Be proud of yourself and talk to your dad as an adult. Tell him you will still love him no matter what the outcome is.

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15y ago

That depends largely on what your father is like. If you think he might react badly, or you aren't sure, you might want to test his reaction to the idea by casually bringing up the idea in a different context (for example, watching some sort of movie or TV show involving lesbian characters, or even bringing up a celebrity outing or the like). If he seems quite on the conservative side and it seems clear he wouldn't approve, maybe it is best to leave it be, especially if you're still living in "his" house. It's a personal decision.

As far as how to bring it up, of course it will be difficult. Make sure he is in a good mood, and also that you won't be interrupted. Emphasize love and meaningful relationships over sex; lesbianism gets a bad rap in that department sometimes. Challenge any other (negative) stereotypes that may arise. The most important thing for him to understand will most likely be that you are still the same person you were before you revealed this to him; just because he knows something new about you doesn't mean *you* have changed from before to after. Keep in mind that some people are always going to be intolerant of homosexuality no matter how you present it, so make sure you are prepared emotionally.

I wish you all the best, and I hope you can find a course of action that works for you.

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12y ago

hm ' tricky !

its usually how do you tell your

parents your gay

but its simple

your the adult !

you tell her ..

its okay too hear her opions on

it but at the end of the day

your STILL the adult and the parent !

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12y ago

just tell him, he mmight understand

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