How do you win back someone's feelings once they are lost because they are in denial as i told my ex partner who was 17 weeks pregnant with our child if she aborted our baby she would destroy us?

Answer 1

I suppose that she doesn't feel like she is in denial. At this point, the baby is in her life and it is her choice. All you can do is what you have done--asked her to carry it to term. Have you offered to raise it too??

You dont.

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Why do you feel the need to prove yourself to an ex? Did you do something wrong? If so, it must have been really horrible if you could make the one that loved you leave you. If this is the case then you need to think about making some changes so you don't repeat the same mistakes (that should be your focus not your ex). You can't win back an ex and shouldn't even try. If your ex made a mistake, let them make that decision, it's the ex's decision to make, not yours. If you are a good person its your ex's loss. If you have some issues that he/she couldn't deal with, than he/she didn't love you enough to be in the relationship to begin with. If you do have some issues that could effect future relationships get some counseling so you can prevent another heartbreaker. You may have grown up in a dysfunctional home and it prevents you from stepping away from dysfunction in the present. Not all is lost if you stay off the bumpy roads.

answer

play hard to get. act like you dont want him back. move on with your life and hang out with friends. dont be a snob to him or anything. if he says hi to you, say hi back but act like you want to be just friends. guys get turned on by this for some reason. just dont be immature about it and stick your nose up at him. act as if it were an aquaintance you say hi to every now and then. be casual.

You know what, just pray!!!!! It works. It has worked for me and it will for you. Just pray to Jesus to take the matters in His hands and He will change things for you... Trust me, and be happy dear!

I really like the above answer....I have taken those exact same words and placed them on a photo and used it as wallpaper on my computer.

(thank you to original author)

Every time I sit down now, I'm reminded to ask for god's help.

Why or how did they get lost? See if you can at least talk to that person. Maybe it's at least worth a mature effort to find out and by being humble. The worst that could happen is that you get a solid answer and possibly learn more about what happened or yourself or even the other person.

Also, maybe there is still a chance after some time apart but you can't assume anything until you've played all the cards you possibly can.

If this is a really good thing that you both thought you were on to, take a chance, find out. If you love that person, it's worth it. Better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. Take a chance...then you'll feel at least a better sense of knowing you did all YOU could. That's all you can do.

Well at the moment im trying to figure that out myself but to win someone's heart back you have to remind them in some way why they ever liked you in the first place. Also this could be risky either you'll be rejected badly or you might win their heart. What you have to do is make saw they know how much you love them. At least you'll never be regretting not going after them and not knowing what could have happened. please make saw you always respect you're self and make saw you really like this person before you put yourself on the line.Good luck:)

Without fail, the best way to win back someone's heart seems to be the hardest thing to do...Move on with life because feelings can't be forced into someone. They may begin to feel pity, but not true feelings. Cries for their love and persistence to let them know how much they are loved simply comes across as desperate and annoying to them. BUT...the moment a persons life begins to move on with friends, family, career, they will go from undesirable to irresistible. Let's face it, rejection stinks in so many ways. Sadly, when the rejector does not want the rejected, the rejected wants them EVEN more. Well, same goes the other way. When the rejected stops wanting the rejector, they want them. Hope this helps. It is NOT easy, but as bad as it hurts, (and it hurts really really bad for a while) eventually, letting go can be a BEAUTIFUL thing!

I'm experiencing the same situation, but at the moment I'm busy playing my cards. My advise: Forget about your pride for a moment and try to get into contact with the person. Just like Gina said "at least try" play your cards the right way. How you play them, that's up to you but be sure you now the person well. Most important is that YOU TRY. If he/she rejects you than you know for sure its time to move on.

Hope it will work out for you, if not for me. Good look!

Basically the moving on with life and forgetting about it works 101%. Talking from experience, pretend you aren't interseted, and they'll come running. It never fails. Dont go back at their first attempt!!!!!! Give them time. Make them sweat. Be seen enjoying life. They'll will come running!!

The fact is you can;t. Unless the other person realizes what a big mistake they made by losing you then there's probably an end at sight. I'm sorry to say that. After you break someone's heart its either quick fixing or not fixing at all.

Like if she asked for space maybe you can give her some time for herself and let her relize what she's doing is the right way, remeber"If you lover her set her free if she comes back it was meant to be" Goddluck, Robert

It is best to levae some relationships in the past.

Read below:

Stalkers and the Borderline Personality

The Borderline Personality

In recent years psychologists have learned about and done case studies on a new personality disorder which the DSM-III-R classifies as an Axis II disorder- the Borderline Personality . This classification includes such personality disorders as the Anti-social Personality, the Histrionic Personality and the Narcissistic Personality. Several psychologists (including myself) diagonosed my stalker as afflicted with the Borderline Personality. Characteristic of the Borderline (derived from research done by Kreisman & Straus, 1989) are:

a shaky sense of identity

sudden, violent outbursts

oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection

brief, turbulent love affairs

frequent periods of intense depression

eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies

an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone

Not much research has been done on the Borderline Personality, and for many years it was difficult to diagnose- and to treat. A Borderline often feels as though his/her life is marked with a distinctive emptiness; a void in which a relationship often acts to fill. Many times the Borderline is a victim of an early dysfunctional family situation and/or emotional/physical abuse by those he/she trusted early on in childhood.

The Borderline is psychotic , in the original, psychological meaning of the term: he/she is not in control and not in touch with reality. To the Borderline, a softly spoken word of advice can be construed as a threat on his/her emotional stability. An outsider's viewpoint that the Borderline is not in touch with reality often ends in a bitter and irrational dissassociation from the outsider on the part of the Borderline. Often, the Borderline ends up very much alone and victim to his/her disillusions.

The Borderline stalker is very apt to see his/her actions as perfectly justified; he/she has paranoid disillusions which support these-often with disturbing frequency. The Borderline often has brief love affairs which end abruptly, turbulently and leave the Borderline with enhanced feelings of self-hatred, self-doubt and a fear that is not often experienced by rational people. When the Borderline's relationships turn sour, the Borderline often begins to, at first, harass the estranged partner with unnecessary apologies and/or apologetic behavior (i.e. letters of apology 'from the heart', flowers delivered at one's place of employment, early morning weeping phonecalls, etc.). However, the Borderline does not construe his/her behavior as harassment- to the Borderline he/she is being 'responsible' for his/her past behaviors.

The next phase of the Borderline Personality develops relatively quickly and soon he/she feels suddenly betrayed, hurt, etc. and seeks to victimize the estranged partner in any way he/she can Strangely enough, this deleterious behavior is always coupled with a need to be near or in constant contact with the estranged partner . While sending threats to the estranged partner, it is very common for the Borderline to begin to stalk his/her estranged partner in an effort to maintain contact. This effort is motivated by the excruciating fear that the Borderline will end up alone and anger that [the estranged partner] has put him/her in this position. We are finding, in many cases, that a great deal of stalking behavior is associated with Borderline or related personality disorders. Earlier research did not incorporate the Borderline Personality in stalking profiles; research now is beginning to focus on the Borderline in such disorders as Erotomania, etc.

lsn from just getting in to this site that means it well be really hard getting her/him back nobody can help you to get back someone you lost noone know her/him more than you do deply inside you you know how but you wont be able to find it until you really regret that and you know what this person means to you. but because were here to help i know some ways call her after midnight where you are truly guilty and tell her what you well miss about her tell her true things,things that you only shared with her not with all you have been with and tell her who well do me this or that but bring it from youre heart and as you start talking you well find millions of things to say and the sun well rise and you still didnt finish by the time you finish she/he well at least feel guilty or or maybe cry. NOTE:MAKE IT FROM YOURE HEART

Just forget about it. When I got my heart broken I didn't understand the sitaution, but now that I've broken someone else's heart I see how it works. It sucks to be on either side, but if someone doesn't want you anymore that's just the way that it is. There is no point trying to win someone back, because there is always someone else out there who is better.

I've been on both sides of the coin. Recently, I was with someone for a year, she wanted to get engaged, and I couldn't commit. We broke up and she was devasted but I was fine. Then we got back together 8 months later, I missed her and she wanted to date. We fought a lot, possibly from the latent anger she held for me, some anger she had in general and for my own ego and selfishness. So after 6 months, she broke it off completely. I would love to have her back. I see many things now that I couldn't see while dating. I am amazed how depressed I have felt this time, when truly the first time I wasn't down very much.

But to win her back is impossible to do from my actions. She, and she alone, would have to desire to open communication back up. I cannot control nor influence her in anyway.

The best advice, in my humble opinion, is to address your own faults and baggage, see what made the relationship fail, accept yourself as human, try to forgive the past (forgive them and forgive yourself) and move towards your new life one day at a time. Move towards creating the best you. A healthy, happy, successful, balanced you.

There are times I am very sad about her (even while going out with attractive new people). Yet, when I'm out living my life, there is a lot less sadness. The more you live, the less you miss. If, over time, the person contacts you again, then you can see where your life is. You may not want them back at all. Or maybe both of you are in a healthier, less-dependent place and can discuss your relationship in a more rational, honest way.

Rejection hurts. But how we process rejection, how long we allow ourselves to hangon, how much we address our own dysfunctions...that is what is important to build a life of happiness.

ANSWER

This is an easy 1. People always want what they can't have, therefore if they can't have you they will want you more! Guys love the chase so you give them that. You always leave them hanging! Take a note of this, it's mothers wisdom. When I eventually took on board what she was saying i realised that it really does work!! I have never had so many men chasing me. I also learnt that my mother had 7 proposals in her youth, all through using this simple trick. If you need more advice im more than willing 2 explain in a greater depth

Question

i dont know if im supposed to write this on here but i need to know whats going on if anyone can help me i have a boyfriend im pregnant and were always argueing all he wants is to be in control he wants me to do this he wants me to do that and i do it ive changed alot for him and i made a mistake i took back my exboyfriend but i regret and i learnt my lesson he has nothing but little slutty girls on his bebo(computer site) and if i have one guy ob there he will freeek he wont take them off for me and he keeps adding and adding them on like it doesnt bother me then he comes home after work talking about the girls at work like i want to know ..... please help me

Question

Me n my gf broke up about 3 months ago. i still like her alot still to this day. after she broke up with me the next day she told me she wanted to get back with me. i tried everything for a month and a half n as i was tryn she started talkin to this other guy. then after a month and a half she told me she didnt like me n it felt like i wasted a month and a half. i was rude to her at times but now i am extra nice bc i want to try to get her back. it seems like whatever i do i cant get her back. she likes this other guy that baarely calls her n sees her unlike me i call her n talk to her everyday n see her everyday. i dont kno y she doesnt see what im doing and wat the other guy is doing. im just tired of trying so hard n ending up with nothing. i dont kno wat to do. i have tried to back off n call her less but she gets mad because i dont call her as much. im so confused can some one please help me with my problem. thanks

SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO FEELINGS OF LOVE LIKE MOST PEOPLE HAVE,SOME LIKE MY EX WITH A NARCISSISTIC DISORDER HAD AND HAS FASES OF VALUATION AND THEN DEVALUATION,IS ALL ABOUT TAKING WHAT THEY NEED,AND THEN THEY TOTALLY CUT YOU OFF,NO CALLS ,NO EMAILS,EXCEPT IF THEY WANT TO REMEMBER THEY ARE STILL IN POWER,IS ALL ABOUT CONTROL,IS VERY TERRIBLE,I LOST MY OWN SELF,I THOUGHT IT WAS MY FAULT,NOW I KNOW WHAT IT IS,BUT I STILL FEEL SADNESS ABOUT EVERYTHING,I FEEL USED,REJECTED AND MY SELF ESTEEM IS DAMAGED! SO LOOK FOR THE SIGNS,PUSH AND PULL GAMES,THE SILENT TREATMENT,TWISTING AROUND THE FACTS,NEVER TAKEN RESPONSABILITY FOR THEIR ACTS,NEVER SATISFIED WITH WHAT YOU DO\1 IS VERY SAD AND FRUSTRATING! IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS,GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN,I DIDI BUT A BIT LATE,NOW I AM FIGHTING TO RECOVER!

Well for me, I thought i had just found my best friend,the someone i could and would of spent the rest of my life with, I met her in January and in may, she told me a huge lie and ended up well long story short she closed the door on me..i have tried to contact her,but nothing.. i don't know how someone can tell you all along how much you mean to them and your the best thing that ever happened to them,and then just quit contacting me..? i guess for me i would just wish she would let me know she is ok,and then i would feel much better,but everyday is a struggle as i try to get over this..for me i can never be angry or mad at her for anything she did before we met or even for what she did now..she has left her mark with me and i will never forget her.

Whether she actually killed your son or just threatened to is the same thing as far as your relationship is concerned. She destroyed it the second she said it and doesn't deserve you.

I would recommend getting some expert help - on the plus side you are reaching out and trying to find out what to do. I think though that as a pregnancy is involved that getting some more individual help will be required. Reaching out and asking for help or advice is an important first step though.