One of them was wandering around and caught her going to unravel her weaving and told the others, but in some stories they were waiting up for her to catch her.
They tolerate them because they are afraid of them but she never accepts their offers of marriage. They dont like them but they are afraid of getting hurt - Sterlzchai:)
In book 1, Telemachus tells the suitors that he will officially give them notice to leave in the morning. He tells the suitors that if they persist in eating at his house, Jove will reckon with them...