How does a verbally abused child make people understand that they are not just complaining about having to follow their parents' rules?

Answer 1

You will probably never get most people to understand because society at large is in a state of denial about the extent of child abuse. They don't want to understand.

You are also probably not going to get the same sort of assistance for verbal abuse that you would get for physical or sexual abuse.

The best thing you can do for yourself is find the positive people around you, peers and adults, and cultivate a relationship with them.

Spend as much time away from home and the source of abuse as you possibly can. Get a job, volunteer somewhere, get involved in extracurricular activities at school, or go to the library to do your homework.

You will find it is a very good lesson on life to concentrate on the things that you can change and avoid the things you can't.

AnswerPeople need to learn to give children the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't long ago when issues like that were swept under the rug and children suffered. Yes, there will be some who "cry wolf" but that's usually easy to spot.

By the way, it's not only children who can suffer from an abusive parent. Some adults still live under such conditions and don't realize they can do anything about it.

AnswerI am afraid I will have to take most of the blame on this one. I am sorry you feel that way. I don't know who you are, how old you are when you post. I have nephews, nieces and know other younger kids, so I have to go by their reactions to some things and following rules of the house are not big on their lists. I would NEVER assume that you aren't going through real abuse issues, but I try to tell the young person what is abuse and what isn't. I also continue on with the post and say something like, "If you still feel you are in an abusive situation then you can call the police, you can stay with a grandparent or relative until things are sorted out in a court of law." I have also said that any child can go to "Child Welfare" and they will certainly get help.

Try posting again and give an example of what your parent(s) say to you in a verbal abusive manner. Most people on this board are more than willing to help you and that includes me. Give it another try and give an example of the verbal abuse you are going through.

ThanksMarcy

AnswerI agree with the other poster that children should always be listened too, and that parents can certainly be abusive even as we become adults.

However, many a child misunderstands (or know and just wants to get even) that accusing someone of beating them or sexually abusing them is really getting even, but what they don't realize is, they can ruin the people's lives that are involved.

Many times we see on the news or read in articles where children know exactly what they are doing and have ruined teacher's lives, doctors, parents, etc. I knew at 5 years old what was right and wrong although my brain capacity at that age wouldn't understand what problems could evolve from a lie.

In this society we must be very careful and not jump the gun simply because a child cries abuse or, "I didn't mean to pull the trigger." There is a case in England where two boys one 10 the other a bit older, kidnapped a two year old boy, beat him, abused him and threw him onto train tracks. Those boys were treated as adults in a court of law and are serving a life sentence. Just a year ago they were up for parole and the world came to a grinding halt to be sure these two kids never saw daylight. I agree! We can make excuses for kids until the cows come home, but, the fact is, we all have gone through something as kids and don't use it as an excuse to lie, or harm someone.

In the United States 3 women and a man were accused of being anything from lesbians, the man was a pervert and someone had maliciously spread the rumor that this day care center was run by these 4 monsters. The trial went on forever, one of the older women abused in prison and now she is totally ruined as far as having the throws of Agoraphobia and afraid of society and who could blame her. It was investigated and indeed all 4 of them were NOT GUILTY and it was proven! It was the psychologists that showed each child a male/female rag doll and it was the psychologist that put the words in the children's mouths. What the system did to those poor kids involved (made made them confused and it was the the children that came forward and cleared the matter up ... so, I prove my point by saying, indeed children know right from wrong. It was disgraceful to all involved. They can practice day care, but choose not too and who could blame them. So, here were 3 ladies that loved kids, were good and kind, and from a rumor their lives were destroyed. Not to mention the male in this that was a good man, the son of one of the women, and all he did was fix things around the Day Care Center and was nice to the children.

We now live in a world where we are afraid to hug someone else's child that we know or even have them sit on our laps. We are afraid of being left alone with them. How sad for the child and for the people that love kids. We are becoming a overly-mentally active lot and don't always use our best judgment and don't take our time to find out the facts. After all, what does it matter if we ruin someone else's life that didn't deserve it.

Of course we have to protect children and most of us do our very best to protect them with every fiber in our bodies (whether we have children or not.) I'm a block parent, so that means if any child is in trouble and sees the sign in my window they know there is help there and yes, I've had 3 occasions where I have had to help children.

I live in Canada and we are getting much tougher now on the "Young Offender's Act" and thank God!

Any child that would come on this board, or come to me personally and tell me they were verbally or physically abused is going to get my attention. However, I take a deep breath and question the child first and get some examples of the abuse. If it's sexual and it's tough to figure out I would report it immediately to Children's Welfare, but if it's verbal abuse I want an example. Some kids today think they have the right to free-load off their parents and if they don't get their way and don't follow the rules of the house they cry "I'm verbally abused!" That's why I am so very careful on the advice I give.

Marcy