How frequently does one have sexual intercourse after marriage to be 'average'?

Answer

Let me start off with an old joke: the Trojan Company hired the top package designer in the world to come up with a new and unique way to market their fine product. He mulled over it for a while, then came back with three new packages.

"The first package is to be marketed to high school kids. There are two condoms in it. One is for Friday night, the other for Saturday night."

He held up the second package. "This one is for college men. It has four condoms in it. Two for Friday, two for Saturday."

The third package was held aloft. "This is for married men. There are thirteen in it. One for your birthday, one for January, one for February..."

Okay, humor off: The real answer is, "have sex as often as you want." There's no such thing as average in this, and you're not trying to keep up with the neighbors. You're trying to have a good marriage.

So don't worry about averages. In fact, don't worry...sex and worry shouldn't go together.

ANSWER

I agree with this answer. 'Average' amounts of sex should be based on your personal relationship. If you and your partner used to have sex every day and now you don't, that means you are having less sex than average for you. If you normally have sex once a month and now that you're married you're having it all the time, then that is above average for you. Don't try to attain some ideal that is suggested by national statistics. Try to have sex that is AMAZING each time. Even if it's only once a year, if it blows the roof off then it's worth the wait. Who wants sex 5x a day when it might not be quality sex?

Personally, my husband and I used to have sex only once a week when we were dating. I would go to his college dorm room and we would make plans to be alone without his roommate. Or he'd come to my apartment after a date and again we would have planned to have my flat mates out. We had so much homework, so many classes, and we worked crappy college jobs plus our schedules didn't always syncronize with our roommates plans.

But once we got married, we would have spontaneous sex very often. It was such a relief to live alone together with no one to bother us. It was very freeing to just enjoy one another anytime we wanted. And I have to say, not much has changed since we were newlyweds. Yes, work often gets in the way but we do take time when we have it. Sometimes, cuddling and making out are just as good as sex when you've been married a long time and you're exhausted from work and family duties.

So just relax and try to maintain the same quality of sex you are accustomed to rather than trying to win a gold medal for frequency of sex. If you are satisfied and feel like you're getting enough affection and attention, then you're having the proper amout of sex for your marriage.

First answer by Toni. Last edit by Laughingjo. Contributor trust: 2 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 177 [recommend question]