In probably 90% of cases. Unfortunately, many abusers do actually believe that they love their family and spouse; even though their form of love does not compare with that of the average person. He needs psychological help, but often will not admit that he is the problem. Maintaining control is necessary for the abuser, for losing control of the spouse is comparable to the average person losing control of a limb. Can you image how maddening it would be if your arm suddenly had a mind of its' own?