How thwarted love makes passion grow stronger?

It just does. But not always. Sometimes distance and time apart is too much. But there are rare occasions that passion overwhelms reality.

I guess it comes down to love being mutual -- and yet somehow impossible -- instead of being unrequited.

I have never been in a relationship with the man I want. Our correspondences span four years now. Time and distance haven't doused the flame.

I saw him for the first time in three years 17 days ago. My body has always answered to his. Seeing him again... It was all the same. His touch, the way he trembled as we kissed, the way we wanted each other... It was like no time had gone by.

But life gets in the way. He's unhappy in his relationship, and feels trapped because she threatened suicide.

And so we don't speak. He thinks about me constantly. I fall asleep to thoughts of him and wake up to more of the same.

Yes. Thwarted love makes passion grow stronger. We've never been able to have each other the way we want. Our need for each other burns through time and space and circumstance.

It's simple fact. Painful and awful and beyond difficult. We live each day wishing it was different, and with the childish, innocent hope that some day we can finally be happy. Secure in each other. Able to have what we want. Guilt-free. Honest.

Pretending is the hardest part. Looking people in the eye and lying like our very lives depend on it. Denial.

The truth is, I've thought hundreds of times that this can't go on forever. We're going to move on in separate lives, finally forgetting about this crazy, inconvenient, ridiculous passion. But we don't. Holding on happens whether we want it to or not.

Strength is a matter of opinion. Are we strong enough to admit that we want each other, or impossibly weak for not letting go?

It doesn't matter. It just is. It can't be contained or cultivated. I want him. It's a fact. I can't argue with it, and I certainly can't change it. Thwarted love is to be lived with daily. Thwarted love happens effortlessly. It's there, always. A part of you. Happy, sad, angry... And yet it's there. Simple. Crazy. Inconvenient. Ridiculous. Constant. Always.