There are many techniques that can be used to dry up your milk and relieve engorgement. Cold cabbage leaves, crushed slightly and placed in your bra until they wilt, will help. Drinking sage or peppermint tea can decrease milk production. Using cold compresses for 20 minutes and taking ibuprofen can help alleviate the pain. Do not use heat or pump as that can stimulate your breasts to produce more milk.
My lactation consultant suggested a product called the Lama Bra. It is specifically designed to relieve engorgement. No more rock hard swelling, heat, or pain. It is also just a great everyday bra that will get plenty of use when I am done breastfeeding.