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I wouldn't say you are wasting your time, but you certainly need to give him a little push. Many men are gun-shy when it comes to commitment and marriage.

When I first went with my husband it was almost 5 years. He was a wonderful man, but, he loved things the way they were and both being young it was fun, fun, fun. Each year I waited patiently for that engagement ring and each year I was disappointed. I figured if I had to ask for that ring then why even bother. If he couldn't give it to me on his own steam then it wouldn't mean anything. So, one night I said, "Get out! You aren't getting the milk for free without buying this cow!" That's exactly what I said and I did kick him out. He was so shocked he didn't know what to do and it took 6 months before we got back together and he begged me to marry him. We've been married for 33 years.

There is absolutely no reason he can't put an engagement ring on your finger. You are in control of your own future, and you certainly have waited long enough. Tell him to put the ring on your finger, set a date to get married and make plans for the wedding together, or kick his butt out! I have no doubt he'll be back.

Good luckMarcy

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Q: If you've been living with a man for 6 years and you've been talking about marriage and he says he's planning something but you're not engaged yet are you wasting your time with him?
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