If you were discarded by a Narcissist after a 3-month relationship which he said was all an illusion does this mean you're free of him forever or will he come back looking for more supply?

Answer 1

Opinions from contributors:

I was discarded after a 4 month relationship that, in her diluted mind, was NOT a dating relationship, when it was the most intense thing I had ever experienced. Anyway, it's been 6 months and I haven't seen hide nor hair of her. She's done. She won't likely be coming back 'round. She didn't even say goodbye. She went on and I laid in bed for months wondering what I had done. It hurts terribly and we want them to 'come back'. They won't and they don't.

I was discarded after 6 months of an intense loving relationship. He said it was not real, and acted as if it was me that was nuts, even though we were engaged. He went about his life as if it never happened telling people the biggest lies about me, for no reason at all. I never knew he was a narcissist until a year later and many many awful things. He never actually went away. He met someone and then popped in and out for a while. He comes back I think when he's single. He looks for me but I'm gone. I don't think you can ever be free, or forgotten, unless you make yourself be.

Answer 2

He may come back. No one can predict what any particular narcissist will do in the future but we can predict probable behavior. He may try to use you again if he needs to. However, you seem to imply that this narcissist in your life calls all the shots. You seem to think that you are not with him only because you were discarded. You seem to imply that you are powerless and may be used again if he comes back. You need to take more responsibility for yourself and what you allow into your life.

Try to remember that every time a person takes a narcissist back in spite of their past behavior that narcissist gains more and more power over that person and that person is diminished. You need to elevate yourself.

It is up to you whether he can come back into your life. You are free of him when you decide to be free of him. You need to resolve to not respond to any overtures he may make if he decides to go another round of using you. Do not think for a minute that he will ever change. You need to be strong, forget about him and move on.