Answer:
Authoritarian and authoritative are the same thing just different 'tenses' of the word. I think you are referring to totalitarianism vs. authoritative. Parenting is authoritative no matter how you approach any subject or issue in day to day life, unless of course you make the mistake of being your child's friend. Keep in mind, however, being authoritative doesn't mean being cruel. It means being kind but in charge. Treat every child according to how they respond best, I suppose.