Is it abuse when you told your boyfriend you like to play rough and sometimes he hurts you and when you tell him to stop he doesn't?

Answer 1

You two need to talk. Your partner needs understands the limits. Otherwise, it is a criminal offense.

AnswerBe careful what you wish for! No, he is not abusive, but you do have a problem if you like your sex on the rough side. It's a dangerous place to go. You are sending very mixed messages to your boyfriend. It doesn't sound to me he really goes along with this idea, but wants to appease your needs. How about his? You need to sit down and talk this over with him.

When you say rough, how is he suppose to know what too rough is? Not all people like rough sex and it's hard to expect a loving person to want to hurt the one they love.

I don't think you realize what "rough sex" is. You need to study up on this. This is why there are S & M Private Clubs all over the place. It is a place one can go to fill their needs of unusual sex in a controlled environment (accidents do happen in these places too). These people (good clubs) are very knowledgable in this so-called art form.

I wouldn't suggest the above, because it is still considered cheating and I don't think you realize what you are in for.

Having a bit of rough sex is OK as long as your partner understands the limits, but think of this ... if you have to give step-by-step instructions to your boyfriend as to what your needs are, then the excitement goes right out of it.

AnswerIt is not merely abuse - it is a criminal offense (it is rape). Non-consensual sex (when one of the partners calls it off) is rape. AnswerMy narcissitic boyfriend use to bite me during sex (which was often aggressive sex). After a few times I couldn't take the pain anymore--he was actually leaving huge welts on my back and I think he was trying to 'mark' me. When I told him I didn't want him to bite me anymore he wouldn't stop. This continued a few more times of me telling him to stop---finally I pushed him off of me with all my might. He yells at me, "What's wrong with you---you're violent!!!" I was in shock--no empathy for my pain--it was all about him! Then he said, "you used to be fun". All of this made me feel less than human--I hurt with this emotionally for years--I brought the incident many times having not received any appology. Finally after he up and discarded me after 12yrs, he says, "It was your body--I'm sorry I was selfish, but you were violent in pushing me off". CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!!!!! He still can't own his violent behavior--he has to project it on to me. Also--he had inorgasmia--I think he needed to brutalize me in order to have an orgasm. He often fantazied about me having sex with two men.