Is it alright in a relationship if someone loves you only because you love them a lot and take care of them?

Answer 1

Perhaps the question should be "Are you alright with the relationship?" If you are happy and things are going well, it is irrelevant what others think. However, if you feel you are at some level being used by the other person, I would suggest that you sit down with them and have a honest talk about what you each need and want from the relationship, about what your future might be together, that sort of thing.

AnswerWhat better reason for love than love itself? This means that as long as you love your partner, he will love you. This also means that theoretically, if you suddenly stopped loving your partner, he'd just as suddenly stop loving you. Very convinient. In real life however, feelings at least linger on or there's even a dramatic short-term increase if their basis is destroyed. AnswerIt`s totally alright, but only depending on certain things. If this person is younger and has a relation to you like a younger brother/sister, then it seems perfectly fine: A part of loving someone is to watch over them. But if it`s in a different way, then I recommend being very cautious with what you do. It`s alright, but just be EXTREMELY cautious. If you give a lot more than you receive...

• If you don't object to being used.
• Of course, just feed them twice daily and clean up any droppings they leave on their daily walk... Wait... we're talking about a puppy here right?
• Not really, no. They should give as much as they take in the relationship. They should like you for who you are just as much as what you do. That almost sounds more like a parent-child relationship than a romantic one.
• NO NO NO NO and NO. Did I mention "NO!" This is a classic case of co-dependency. The person taking care of the partner in all probability had to take care of a useless and incompetent parent when they were growing up and mistook this serious violation of a child's wellbeing as a sign of affection. The reverse probably happened with the other person in the relationship. Doing everything for someone else is NOT love - it's a serious psychological problem that in all probability stems from your childhood. If this is you, ask yourself whether you had to 'play the parent' to one of your own parents because they were too inefficient to take care of themselves? If so, you have your answer.

  It's not love - its fulfilling psychological needs

  [Comment: love MEANS fulfilling psychological needs, or what is love to you - a bank cheque? More precisely, love's a feeling that can have any number of causes, including unhealthy ones. That doesn't change that it IS love. Fulfilling needs of any kind is both a cause and a consequence of love.]

  and that never ends well with two people. Get out of this relationship fast!

• No, it is not alright! The relationship is based on what you give to and/or do for the other person and not a true give and take. If they are with you because of what you do then you can be replaced by someone they could pay for the same care.(Not like a prostitute) Why are they with you if they don't love you for who you are, but for what you do? They sound selfish and it sounds like co-dependency. I say that because there is some co-dependency in all relationships and it is not a bad thing all together. It is unhealthy when the basis for the relationship is your doing for them. Why are you staying with someone that loves you not for who you are but for what you do? You may need to check on your own self-esteem issues. You deserve to be loved simply because of the wonderful beautiful person that you are. You don't need to earn their love. It shoud be given freely. Blessings

Detailed Caseoh no. i am not being used for sure. she knows how much i love her n take care of her like she is my life.

she used to be the same way...but now she has changed a little. at first she use to tell i love u coz ur this...that..etc..etc... now its just outright...i love u coz u love me so much n take care of me so well.

[Comment: that sounds like she's tired of thinking of reasons, and you're constantly asking "Why do you love me?", which is a very difficult question to answer. Just try it yourself: Why do YOU love HER?

You just do. Just be happy that she does as well.]

we dont even talk much...never have...

[Comment: If this bothers you, then start talking! It seems to me you translate "i love u coz u love me" to "i don't really love you". You can start with this issue.]

btw...another questions...can a couple survive if they dont have any common hobbies ? and can a couple survive if the 2 people involved are totally opposite in nature ? [Comment: post these questions separately, not in here]

AnswerI can only speak from personal experience. I have been married for 35 years. We love each other differently than when we first began. We had almost nothing in common. We have developed mutual interests over the years, but still enjoy separate activities. He loves rock and roll, I love Opera. He's a couch potato, I am a marathon runner (of sorts). He loves watching WWF, I think it's "goofy." I'm an avid reader and have hundreds of books, he thinks if you read it what's the point in keeping it. And so on, and so on... I believe opposites do indeed attract and in many cases "stick." It sounds like your significant other cares for you very much and appreciates what you do for her. Perhaps you are misunderstanding what she is trying to say. I think you will be just fine. :) PAX

this how i would said it, if it was me i would take my time and dont go fast becaus going fast would cause alot of problems and just take your time and see he over react and if he acting all nice then he's a good man and if he's acting like he dont want to have fun and acting all funny then he's not a good man

Friendly answer:

Yes, it is alright! Sooner or later love is learn.

In my opinion, you have to be careful with this situation. It's kind of like walking on thin ice. You want to make sure that a person loves you for you, and not your money or what you give them. Sometimes, the other person begins to then expect these things from you and take it for granted. They might use you and your finances to help them when in a tough situation and then leave you when in their world, everything's alright. You want to make sure this doesn't happen so that they don't cheat you.

Answer 2

If you are Okay with it then it is fine. But if you are not okay with it. You should make it clear with that person.