Is it bad to have a friendship with your former abuser if you're still in love with him?

Answer 1

Humans are creatures of habit, do you still need a little more abuse?

AnswerYes it is. It wont work for several reasons. First of all my ex abuser would want to stay friends as a way to eventually suck me back into the relationships. An abuser does not want a friend, he sees you as an object to be used, worn down, maniuplated and toyed with. The abuser only wants to be friends so he can keep a close eye on your new pursuits such as friends, dating, work, education ect. It is his way of maintaining control over you. I was married to an abuser. He wanted the same to be friends but he would call and harass me calling me horrible names. Here are some of the tactics abusers use when they feel they are lsoing control....i would appreciate anyone else adding to this list as it could help others recognize these tactics:-he will say lets be friends to keep close tabs on you-he will try and get close with your firends so he can influence their perceptions -he will use other people to relay messages to you whether or not they know that's what hes doing-he will resort to checking up behaviours such as coincidentally showing up, this is his way of letting the abused know that at any time he may appear so she better not have another man around-he will call lots then stop so u wonder whats going onPlease remember that all these behaviours and there are many more are desinged to keep the abused off balance so she can make no real plans and have any real sense of stability. Abusers are out to create unpredictability and just when you think you know what they will do next they throw you a curve ball.........good luck and stay away from any man that treats you bad there are alot of hunks who will treat u right.........