Is it more important 'to be in love with' or 'to love' each other?

Love

Here are opinions from WikiAnswers Contributors:

• I think it is important to have both. If a man says he loves you but isn't in love with you that would almost be like him being a family member (father, brother, uncle). If a man says he loves you and is in love with you then you have a great guy.

• I'm married and have told my husband that I love him but am not in love with him. Yes, I'm guilty, but it means I love him really to a point. But when I look into his eyes, I don't get watery eyed or feel up with emotion. He is the father of my children, he is good to me and my family loves him as do I. But in love means passion, just really heart felt love. Think of him and smile. I don't get that. I'm working on indirectly showing or telling him what to do to get me to that point. To be honest, someone in the past has that torch.

• To be in love describes the excitement, passion, and sense of worth that a person experiences when they are involved with someone. It is a personal experience. To love someone means that you give them care, concern, friendship and affection willingly. You respect them, understand that they are as human as you and do make mistakes, but that they are a good, capable, responsible person whom you enjoy spending time with. Your affection does not wane with distance, and you do not grow bored of them with time. Neither do you idealize them.

• To love: is to care about someone in ways that you devote yourself to that person. To be in love: is to feel your hart beating because you are attracted (phiscally or spiritually) to that person. I think the question is: Is loving someone enough to be in a relationship or people need to have both? I don't think there is a yes-no answer to this. The true test of love is when your partner is willing to do anything for your happiness (and viceversa).. even staying with that person for the rest of your life even if you want something else (this however, is against love towards yourself -selfesteem-).

• In order to be in love, you have to first love the person. Being in love is a heightened unexplainable level of love. I don't see how a marriage could be worthwhile, and be something of worth if your not in love. So to answer the question you would have to have both. Because love gets you through the hard times, and being in love makes the easy or happy times that much greater.

• You need to be in love for yourself and for your partner's sake. You can love someone deeply, but how will you explain yourself how you feel about someone else if everytime you see them your heart jumps, your cheeks burn, your lips smile. If this someone is not your partner then, what's the point? Darling, give yourself, and your partner, the chance to feel this for someone else, and know this someone else feels the same, and live life to the full, for God wants us to love deeply and not fool ourselves: fall in love, be in love.

• The way you put it, it seems that 'to be in love with' someone is infatuation. Infatuation is always temporary. It's when you feel like you need to be with someone, like they're the only person you could ever be with, and you can't stop thinking about them. When you love someone, that means you care about them more than you care about yourself. Love is more important.

• Here is the deal. The real deal. You will NEVER meet someone that you will be IN LOVE with all of the time. People just dont do that. In relationships that people have been married for 50 years they will tell you, they were in and out of love. They NEVER stopped loving each other, but they were not always IN LOVE. That isn't reality. We just aren't built that way. You get in a relationship were you are in love with someone all of the time. Could you imagine that? It would be soo unhealty. We just fall in and out of love with someone, and that is OK. It's not bad. It doesn't mean we cheat, it just means we are human.

Answer

Love is an action. It requires daily upkeep that cannot fail. In a marriage relationship, love is what binds two together; it brings out the best and the worst. Love cannot fail. Feelings of love are like wind that are here today and wrap you in a whirlwhind of passion but tomorrow is gone. Love must be steadier than that. It must be an anchor in a wild and stormy sea that will hold tight and never let go. Which love would you prefer? To share a love that is here today or gone tomorrow? Or would you prefer a love that lasts the ages. To be "in love" with someone can change. The one you are "in love" with can have good and bad feelings about life every day. One minute happy-the next minute sad or angry. When someone is sad or angry, is it hard to "be in love with them" at that moment? probably. But "To love one another" never fails. It loves regardless of the situation, time, or moment. It loves constantly. That love is patient, kind, it does not envy or boast. It is not proud or rude or self seeking. It is not easily angered and that love keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres. That love never fails. Which would you prefer? To have changing feelings? Or a love that never fails...

Answer

I think that they're both equal. To be 'in love' and 'to love' are slightly different, but both are important just the same. You love your family and friends, but you could be in love someone. That doesn't make the people you love inferior or less important, or vise versa.

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