Is it normal in a long marriage to feel like something is missing in your life or that you don't love the other person like you should anymore?

Answer 1

It is very normal that either a man or woman can feel something is missing their marriage at anytime in the marriage whether it's only a few years or many years. Firstly, as people grow older together the magic of love from youth disappears and a more mature love enters the picture. Either partner may feel the romance has gone out of their marriage and they live a mundane existence, but there is no reason 'old dogs' can't learn new tricks. Take mini vacations together every so often that you both enjoy or if you can afford it go to somewhere exotic and get that old spark back. All people (whether they want to admit it or not) feel they may be missing something in life or even perhaps want to recapture their youth, but remember ... 'the grass on the other side of the fences isn't always greener. If need be see a marriage counselor and learn the tools to keep your marriage a guessing game and some romance sprinkled in. Older people have a lot to give so get out and volunteer if you aren't working; get mingling in clubs and hopefully your mate may take an interest. It is fine if both partners have different hobbies, but they should communicate well; express their feelings and make a plan together for something the two of you can look forward too. Here is a poem I love and live by:

Splendor In The Grass

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

William Wordsworth

In other words we cannot bring back our youth, but look forward to another chapter in our life and make the best of it.