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Answer:
You know what? I'm a 37 year old man in a (practically) sexless marriage. I have an extremely high sex drive and always have. I am a night owl, but would be willing to have sex with her any time of the day or night. My wife and I met in college and we used to have sex a lot.
After we married, she seemed to lose interest. I joke that we have had relations roughly three times in the last ten years and we now have three kids! We did not even have sex on our wedding night. She was too tired and fell asleep! She was pissed that I would even suggest that we go (or I go alone) with the rest of the wedding party downtown to a nightclub to celebrate our marriage since she wasn't in the mood to get busy.
Let's see. Oh, I am drug and disease free. I am in shape and can run a mile and a half in 12 minutes and knock out 30 push-ups and 50 sit-ups in one session. I am endowed in the 6-7 " range and can generally last at least 20 - 30 minutes (most times longer), and I can feel her climax when we DO have sex, and she tells me that it is satisfying. I will admit that she sometimes gets bored when I take longer than she does to come.
The frequency of the times we actually have sex absolutely sucks - which is about every 4 - 6 weeks if I am lucky and is usually about every other month (I keep a journal). I get every excuse under the sun when I proposition her and I have just about given up. Yes the kids make it tough, but we do get time alone. I would go down on her for hours and please her orally or with my fingers if she wanted me to, and she knows this. She is completely uninterested in oral sex at all. I have NEVER (no BJ's ever and I am NOT making this up) received oral from her and she refuses. Nor does she want me to perform it on her.
We are both college-educated and both work full-time and have three small children. We have child care and family support. I do most of the cooking and cleaning and all of the yardwork. I rub her feet any time she asks me.
I am a good father and an attentive husband. I love my wife and kids, but I absolutely HATE our lack of sex. I have been absolutely 100% faithful to her and I believe she has been faithful to me as well. If it was not for masturbation (almost daily) I would probably explode, because I am sure not getting any satisfaction or help from her.
We have talked it over until I am blue in the face and she always says that we need to make more time for each other and that our intimacy will get better. But it never does.
After reading through this forum, it seems to me that it is the women who demonize a guy who takes matters into his own hands if he is married or that he is being unattentive. That is laughable, because there is nothing that I would not do for my wife. Talking to a third party (counselor) has done no good. I still get the same old broken-down, lame-ass excuses from my wife.
Short of walking out on my marriage, about the only alternative I have is taking matters into my own hands. My kids need me and I am not about to walk out.
----------------------------
1) I think its perfectly normal to masturbate in a private place. In the above aswer, you have a specific case where the wife is just not as interested in sex, and therefore, the man masturbates. I doubt his wife minds too much, but other wives may find it disturbing.
2) Spouses should try to be understanding rather than get upset about it. Men tend to masturbate more often than women.
It is a bit of an animalistic thing, but I personally don't think it is dissiimilar to the need to pee.
You sometimes need to take care of that urge otherwise you feel like your going to explode. If you just take care of it, you can get focused again on other things. In a person's teens and early 20s, this urge is more frequent than when past the 30s.
3) Wives are sometimes shocked by this behavior which is something that men do in private. However, when they start living with a man and discover that he does it, women are confused by the behavior.
4) Though each person's opinion on the matter is different based off their beliefs, I would personally suggest that spouses try to be more understanding. For example, If you want to spice up your sex life a bit, consider watching porn together and masturbating each other.
5) Sometimes when us guys are just tired, stressed, or even having trouble sleeping, we may want to take care of that urge ourselves, rather than have sex where you have to worry about getting the other person in the mood, worry about satisfying the other person, and go through the physical efforts of sex. However, I think everything must have balance. A guy should still make efforts to satisfy his wife's needs, as well.
After we married, she seemed to lose interest. I joke that we have had relations roughly three times in the last ten years and we now have three kids! We did not even have sex on our wedding night. She was too tired and fell asleep! She was pissed that I would even suggest that we go (or I go alone) with the rest of the wedding party downtown to a nightclub to celebrate our marriage since she wasn't in the mood to get busy.
Let's see. Oh, I am drug and disease free. I am in shape and can run a mile and a half in 12 minutes and knock out 30 push-ups and 50 sit-ups in one session. I am endowed in the 6-7 " range and can generally last at least 20 - 30 minutes (most times longer), and I can feel her climax when we DO have sex, and she tells me that it is satisfying. I will admit that she sometimes gets bored when I take longer than she does to come.
The frequency of the times we actually have sex absolutely sucks - which is about every 4 - 6 weeks if I am lucky and is usually about every other month (I keep a journal). I get every excuse under the sun when I proposition her and I have just about given up. Yes the kids make it tough, but we do get time alone. I would go down on her for hours and please her orally or with my fingers if she wanted me to, and she knows this. She is completely uninterested in oral sex at all. I have NEVER (no BJ's ever and I am NOT making this up) received oral from her and she refuses. Nor does she want me to perform it on her.
We are both college-educated and both work full-time and have three small children. We have child care and family support. I do most of the cooking and cleaning and all of the yardwork. I rub her feet any time she asks me.
I am a good father and an attentive husband. I love my wife and kids, but I absolutely HATE our lack of sex. I have been absolutely 100% faithful to her and I believe she has been faithful to me as well. If it was not for masturbation (almost daily) I would probably explode, because I am sure not getting any satisfaction or help from her.
We have talked it over until I am blue in the face and she always says that we need to make more time for each other and that our intimacy will get better. But it never does.
After reading through this forum, it seems to me that it is the women who demonize a guy who takes matters into his own hands if he is married or that he is being unattentive. That is laughable, because there is nothing that I would not do for my wife. Talking to a third party (counselor) has done no good. I still get the same old broken-down, lame-ass excuses from my wife.
Short of walking out on my marriage, about the only alternative I have is taking matters into my own hands. My kids need me and I am not about to walk out.
1) I think its perfectly normal to masturbate in a private place. In the above aswer, you have a specific case where the wife is just not as interested in sex, and therefore, the man masturbates. I doubt his wife minds too much, but other wives may find it disturbing.
2) Spouses should try to be understanding rather than get upset about it. Men tend to masturbate more often than women.
It is a bit of an animalistic thing, but I personally don't think it is dissiimilar to the need to pee.
You sometimes need to take care of that urge otherwise you feel like your going to explode. If you just take care of it, you can get focused again on other things. In a person's teens and early 20s, this urge is more frequent than when past the 30s.
3) Wives are sometimes shocked by this behavior which is something that men do in private. However, when they start living with a man and discover that he does it, women are confused by the behavior.
4) Though each person's opinion on the matter is different based off their beliefs, I would personally suggest that spouses try to be more understanding. For example, If you want to spice up your sex life a bit, consider watching porn together and masturbating each other.
5) Sometimes when us guys are just tired, stressed, or even having trouble sleeping, we may want to take care of that urge ourselves, rather than have sex where you have to worry about getting the other person in the mood, worry about satisfying the other person, and go through the physical efforts of sex. However, I think everything must have balance. A guy should still make efforts to satisfy his wife's needs, as well.
Contributor:
Jadeacres
Jadeacres
First answer by ID1097135203.
Last edit by Chungw74.
Contributor trust: 0
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